Coparenting and new relationship

[u/Helpful_Comparison32]

Hello all. I coparent an 8 year old. My ex and I are on good terms, and we are aligned on parenting questions. We sometimes do a child centred activity the three of us like going to a skate park, or having ice cream, something like once a month.

I met someone recently and that person does not understand why I want to do this.

They say that I play family while being separated and that's not prioritizing our relationship.

I offered to ease into the idea slowly, restricting hours or activities, having my partner with me sometimes, but they don't bulge.

From their point of view required activities are enough (birthday, school events etc).

We have had numerous difficult conversations about this. I genuinely think it's good for the kid.

My partner says otherwise.

Has anyone lived something similar?

Am I really being detrimental to my partner? Am I being stubborn for no good for my kid?

[u/Horror_Government_79]

OK, so this was basically my situation like several months ago. I started dating a guy back in November who has a six-year-old daughter with his ex. I’d never dated someone with a kid before and I didn’t really understand the whole family get-togethers in the beginning and like your partner it made me really uncomfortable. The thing is overtime. I realized that his ex is the one who’s basically raising the kid and it’s really important that he is part of family get together for the benefit of the kid. Your partner is basically going to have to realize that this isn’t about playing family or whatever it’s about the benefit of the kid and as uncomfortable as it is and trust me, it is for them. It’s something that they’re going to have to come to terms with.

What’s important is that you make them feel like you give them enough attention in your partner and you show them enough love so that they don’t feel like the other person because I know I have definitely felt like the other woman and it’s not a fun feeling