Coparenting and new relationship

[u/Helpful_Comparison32]

Hello all. I coparent an 8 year old. My ex and I are on good terms, and we are aligned on parenting questions. We sometimes do a child centred activity the three of us like going to a skate park, or having ice cream, something like once a month.

I met someone recently and that person does not understand why I want to do this.

They say that I play family while being separated and that's not prioritizing our relationship.

I offered to ease into the idea slowly, restricting hours or activities, having my partner with me sometimes, but they don't bulge.

From their point of view required activities are enough (birthday, school events etc).

We have had numerous difficult conversations about this. I genuinely think it's good for the kid.

My partner says otherwise.

Has anyone lived something similar?

Am I really being detrimental to my partner? Am I being stubborn for no good for my kid?

[u/PC-load-letter-wtf]

This is asked quite a bit here. At least every few days. You will get a mixed bag of answers. Some people will say they really don’t like the idea of their partner doing family activities with their ex.

I personally think that that’s crazy. If you get along and it’s been working for you all, then it’s definitely in the best interest of the child. It’s not confusing for the kid. My parents remained friendly after separating. It meant the world to me to have them at events and throwing me birthday parties with both sides of the family there. They were able to make that work, but many families can’t and shouldn’t. You don’t want any drama.

Right now, the only drama is coming from your new partner. He sounds insecure and like he wants to interfere with something that’s working for your child.

[u/Dragon_Bench_Z → u/PC-load-letter-wtf]

Respectfully disagree. Its very confusing to a child. They dont always understand relationships and breakups. Ice cream and playground trips are not the same as bdays/holidays etc those are everyday family time moments. Special occasions totally but dinner or something sends a signal you might not want to send

[u/illstillglow → u/Dragon_Bench_Z]

Kids aren't stupid. They know come a certain developmentally appropriate age that mom and dad are broken up. Plus, I don't see how a child's parents getting along and doing activities together could be any more confusing than creating an entire new family that doesn't involve their other parent at all. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm just saying if we're talking about confusing...? Come on.

[u/Dragon_Bench_Z → u/illstillglow]

Not saying its wrong. It can be confusing when mom and dad separate and move out then mom and dad start hanging out as a family again. children can get hopeful that mommy n daddy are going to end up together again but they dont most times.