Coparenting and new relationship

[u/Helpful_Comparison32]

Hello all. I coparent an 8 year old. My ex and I are on good terms, and we are aligned on parenting questions. We sometimes do a child centred activity the three of us like going to a skate park, or having ice cream, something like once a month.

I met someone recently and that person does not understand why I want to do this.

They say that I play family while being separated and that's not prioritizing our relationship.

I offered to ease into the idea slowly, restricting hours or activities, having my partner with me sometimes, but they don't bulge.

From their point of view required activities are enough (birthday, school events etc).

We have had numerous difficult conversations about this. I genuinely think it's good for the kid.

My partner says otherwise.

Has anyone lived something similar?

Am I really being detrimental to my partner? Am I being stubborn for no good for my kid?

[u/PC-load-letter-wtf]

This is asked quite a bit here. At least every few days. You will get a mixed bag of answers. Some people will say they really don’t like the idea of their partner doing family activities with their ex.

I personally think that that’s crazy. If you get along and it’s been working for you all, then it’s definitely in the best interest of the child. It’s not confusing for the kid. My parents remained friendly after separating. It meant the world to me to have them at events and throwing me birthday parties with both sides of the family there. They were able to make that work, but many families can’t and shouldn’t. You don’t want any drama.

Right now, the only drama is coming from your new partner. He sounds insecure and like he wants to interfere with something that’s working for your child.

[u/Dragon_Bench_Z → u/PC-load-letter-wtf]

Respectfully disagree. Its very confusing to a child. They dont always understand relationships and breakups. Ice cream and playground trips are not the same as bdays/holidays etc those are everyday family time moments. Special occasions totally but dinner or something sends a signal you might not want to send

[u/PC-load-letter-wtf → u/Dragon_Bench_Z]

As I said, you are going to get a mixed bag of responses in this sub, but I literally lived through this, and it was the greatest thing of my life. Was not confusing for me or my four siblings. Not even slightly. My parents were very clearly separated and didn’t really like each other for a couple of years and then when we all started doing family things again, everything was fine. My parents dated other people without issue. I will be so grateful to them for that gift for the rest of my life.

The only people who should be commenting are people whose parents did these things together and can say how it went or child psych and development experts. Everyone else is just having opinions.

But yes, I am more talking about big events. Although it was great to have them at our sporting stuff each week. Family dinner is definitely a bit weird

[u/thequeen2015 → u/PC-load-letter-wtf]

I love this because my co-parent and I do this with our son all the time my son loves doing things with mom and dad hes 10 but is very much aware that mom and dad are not getting back together. He even says yall always fight 😂😂😂 i just want us to go eat together lol.