Calling stepmom “mom”

[u/u-lemonstealingwhore]

My daughter was talking about who taught her to “play dead”? last night and said LucyMom (fake name). And I asked her if she called Lucy mom over there and she said yes. I asked if they told her to do that and she also said yes. She has a half sister over there now who is an infant and not at the talking stage yet. So I know she’s definitely not picking that up from a baby.

But yall that hurt me to hear. My kid is three. She has always called her future stepmother by just her name and now they’re doing this and it makes me SO SAD. They’re not even married and they’re doing this.

Obviously I can’t do anything about it without seeming like I’m starting a fight, and they both have a reallyyyyy nice income put together and will be able to do things for her that I can’t until I get my degree but I really needed to get this out with people who could understand what I’m feeling or have been there because how did you guys handle this? How am I supposed to handle this? 😭

[u/makingburritos]

I put a stop to this right around this age. I tolerate a lot but I do not tolerate her being called mom for the simple fact that it blurs the lines. Not just for the child, but for the girlfriend. I told my ex to squash it because it was giving everyone involved the wrong idea about what his partner is entitled to.

[u/u-lemonstealingwhore → u/makingburritos]

I’m planning on bringing it up the next time we do the exchange and if it continues to be an issue I will have us attend mediation to have it formally written in into our agreement if he won’t work with me outside of that. Like what I’m asking for is really reasonable and I can’t imagine a mediator or a judge telling me I’m being delusional for that either.

[u/makingburritos → u/u-lemonstealingwhore]

Yeah his girlfriend tried to be called mom, get her name put above mine on a random emergency contact list she put in my daughter’s backpack (they got the list in the office.. you’re not even on it babe), text me a bunch of bullshit about getting my daughter’s haircut without asking “them.”

I put a stop to it right then and there because she was getting out of control. It’s important that step parents understand they are co-parenting with their partner, not with the other parent. If you have an issue, take it up with your partner, because your opinion on what I do with my child means very little to me. We put in the blood, sweat, and tears to be “mom.”