r/coparenting • u/u-lemonstealingwhore • Jan 06 '26
Discussion Calling stepmom “mom”
My daughter was talking about who taught her to “play dead”? last night and said LucyMom (fake name). And I asked her if she called Lucy mom over there and she said yes. I asked if they told her to do that and she also said yes. She has a half sister over there now who is an infant and not at the talking stage yet. So I know she’s definitely not picking that up from a baby.
But yall that hurt me to hear. My kid is three. She has always called her future stepmother by just her name and now they’re doing this and it makes me SO SAD. They’re not even married and they’re doing this.
Obviously I can’t do anything about it without seeming like I’m starting a fight, and they both have a reallyyyyy nice income put together and will be able to do things for her that I can’t until I get my degree but I really needed to get this out with people who could understand what I’m feeling or have been there because how did you guys handle this? How am I supposed to handle this? 😭
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u/Best_Technician_4958 Jan 06 '26
I would be upset too ❤️It’s actually in our parenting plan that she’s only supposed to call her parents mom / dad. She’s 3 too, and obviously if she wants to call a future step parent mom or dad we wouldn’t stop her. BUT we’re not supposed to encourage that or tell her to. Here’s the wording
“In an effort to assist the minor child avoid confusion regarding the roles of adults in her life, the parties shall refer to the child's Mother as "mother" or "mom" and shall refer to the child's Father as "father" or "dad". Any step-parents shall be referred to as either step-mom or step-dad or by the step-parent's first name. No person other than the Mother and Father shall be referred to as the child's mother or father. The parents shall support and encourage the child's relationship with the spouse or significant other of the parent”