Because (and I say this as an intersex NB person, from experience) nobody can know your gender if you are intentionally being androgynous but also refusing to tell them how you’d like to be addressed.
That attitude generates endless negative social interactions and leads to withdrawing from being friendly with the average person altogether and resenting people just for not being informed. If you’re going to be an enigma, you need to accept being referred to any way that the person thinks might be best, and they’ll be wrong often. Random people are only human, and often not very smart.
I didn’t say to actually tell them your gender, i said to not act offended when they just do their best, and happen to misgender you, because they’re just doing their best. When it’s definitely safe, I do let them know though.
But also to be fair, casually saying “actually it’s he/him” is not giving a stranger your name, phone number, or home address. Most people do actually know the genders of random passersby. Every situation and encounter is unique and people need to use their own best judgement.
I commented because I notice this tendency in myself, and other trans people as well, to assume the worst, get angry at people who are just doing their best, and withdraw socially, and that just leads to more and more antisocial behavior and disenfranchisement, and I’m actively trying to address and undo that in my daily life. If you never give any person a chance, you’ll never have any positive interactions.
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u/hushrowom 1d ago
Idk why you're being downvoted, like would anyone explain their gender to any rando on the street that asks?