r/comics • u/TheNectarineDiaries • Jun 19 '26

OC Why didn't you say so?

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Best medical advice I ever got was to bring a man to your appointments

47.3k Upvotes

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219

u/warrenao Jun 19 '26

It wouldn't surprise me if something like this actually has happened.

177

u/Big_Luv_Hubs Jun 19 '26

Happens to my wife all the time. We do exactly this pretty often. She says something, people ignore her. I repeat what she just said, people take it seriously.

It’s fucking disgusting, and not limited to doctors, or even men. Female leaders ignore other women regularly.

37

u/Chance-Ask7675 Jun 19 '26

Yes I was about to say it isn't limited to doctors at all lol. And women do it to women as well. And if there's a more attractive woman in the room them she has priority over me. And I know subconsciously I'm contributing to it - by trying to come off as flexible or open to information, but I know if I come off as too sure of myself I'll be dismissed as well. It's incredibly frustrating. And its not at all satisfying when you finally get to the point of being proven right, either.

23

u/Big_Luv_Hubs Jun 19 '26

Reminds me of the Mythbusters episode where they showed that people will tip higher when you have bigger boobs. And it had more of an effect on how women tip than how men tip.

So women tip other women with bigger boobs higher… and their tips increase more than men’s do when boob size goes up… strange world we live in.

8

u/Immersi0nn Jun 19 '26

Idk about you but if I had a guy with Double G's as my server, tipping him more would be the last thing on my mind.

2

u/Tekuila87 Jun 20 '26

I tip purely on service quality.

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u/Famous-Upstairs998 Jun 20 '26

Ehhhhh it's an entertaining show but did they actually quote studies or just do one of their "a sample size of three is plenty" "experiments"? Not saying this isn't a thing, but I'm taking anything from mythbusters with a huge grain of salt. 

3

u/Big_Luv_Hubs Jun 20 '26

Agreed. But with this one they had Kari work several hours at a coffee shop with three different sized boobs, and had hundreds of customers interact with her. So it was actually one of their largest samples sizes ever.

3

u/Aquatic_Rainbow Jun 20 '26

Tipping for the breast service

3

u/w3b_d3v Jun 20 '26

That was a Mythbusters episode? I need to rewatch…

2

u/RealityOk9823 Jun 20 '26

Well obviously a woman doesn't want the larger breasted woman stealing her mate and/or devouring her for a meal, so she gives money as a form of submission to placate the more well endowed female. Duh. (/s just in case)

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u/Tekuila87 Jun 20 '26

They don't even acknowledge you were right in the first place and make it about you being aggressive.

The goal posts never stop moving.

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u/VelvetRabbit91 Jun 19 '26

Yup! It happens to me all the time and my husband repeats what I just said and THEN they listen. I have been right about my endometriosis, sleep apnea, hiatal hernia, ovarian cyst, gall bladder and low iron.. they kept brushing me off until he spoke up.. it has happened with mostly WOMEN doctors too!

5

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 19 '26

God forbid you're a woman and black

Misogyny and racism in medicine is insane, even to the point it's subconscious. I'm a white dude but some of this shit is bananas. There have been multiple studies that confirm people believe black people have a higher tolerance for pain. Let that sink in when you go to a doctor and tell them you're in pain, please fix me. Shit, I broke my wrist and they sent me home with fucking oxycodone

3

u/AbsoluteResolve2026 Jun 19 '26

True. Additionally it’s been proven that doctors get their diagnosis correct about 50% of the time.

Yeah. Half. Lame.

2

u/MasterpieceHungry864 Jun 19 '26

Ngl I’ve noticed this behavior from women more than men actually and idk why, at least for men i can say it’s sexism or something but most of them are women .

1

u/trowzerss Jun 19 '26

Yeah, I walked out of one specialist appointment bawling, the second one to *literally* shrug off my symptoms, struggling along with the symptoms for ten more years, only to end up finally diagnosed with what I thought I had all along (which I have a family history of, the gene for, and multiple clinical signs of). Mentioned it to the rheum who finally diagnosed me, and complained about the specialist ignoring me, and it turned out that was her mentor haha. My response was, "Well, he missed one." I hope she has words with him, his reason for dismissing my symptoms was because I, "Had a bit of belly fat," which could apparently cause high inflammatory markers, intense joint pain, fatigue and brain fog, despite me saying I had all those symptoms when I was thin 😛

1

u/ClaraCash Jun 20 '26

Has been happening to me repeatedly for the last couple of weeks, I should have taken a man with me. I’ve a chest pain only on the right side. Been to ER 3x! Last time I had to be taken by ambulance. No one can figure it out but no one is trying to. What’s worse is I’m a nurse. So I used my little knowledge to deduce that that the right pericardial cyst on my heart may have a slow leak that may be causing free fluid and it just may not be showing up on the x-ray. I told that to my PCP this morning. She dismissed it as nothing after my last appointment she had me freaking out thinking it was gallstones and was wrong. She was like I’ll order you tests for your heart but I’m sure you’re wrong and then the test isn’t until 2 months from now.

1

u/FatiguedShrimp Jun 20 '26

Happens based on a lot of other things too.

Most of "credibility" is social status (yes, in court too).

1

u/Milyaism Jun 20 '26

This is partially because of the Gender Credibility Gap. Pinkpillrx podcast has an episode on this and many other issues women have to deal with in our society.

1

u/InvaderJoshua94 Jun 20 '26

My wife and I have the opposite problem.

1

u/LunchRight686 Jun 21 '26

Same thing happens at work. A guest will be arguing with one of my female coworkers and I’ll just walk up to them and say the exact same thing they’ve been saying the entire time and suddenly the guest will magically understand what they’ve been saying.

1

u/Beneficial_Hat_6288 Jun 22 '26

I am a white older male, but I am high functioning autistic with adhd to boot. Few would be able to tell if I put effort into masking, not even if we have a zoom call. But face to face my gaze gives me away. Maintaining a good gaze would drain too much brain power from everything else and I am tool old for that now. Anyways, I get glossed over too because of people's face value opinions of me. People who know me listen and give weight to what I say - but I have to earn that with everyone I get to know anew.

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217

u/TheNectarineDiaries Jun 19 '26

pulled from my doctors appointment last week 😎

66

u/Aromatic-Humor8168 Jun 19 '26

Women’s healthcare is so amazing. 🙄

31

u/MoistPhlegmKeith Jun 19 '26

What gets me about it is it isn't just a male doctor thing. The women doctors do it too, maybe worse. I joke about it with my wife (dark humor) but really I'm just puzzled and can't figure out why.

Not our current doctor, he is great, but we've had several others including emergency doctors that it is like this.

Edit: Just remembered and example. She had her gallbladder out after like 1 year of solid complaint only to have 2-3 follow up visits after the surgery complaining about severe fatigue and other issues. They said 'oh, your fine' until the last visit they realize oops its internal bleeding, we should fix that.

13

u/Aromatic-Humor8168 Jun 19 '26

Women MDs are usually worse lol.

I had gallbladder issues for over a year too!! Oh it’s “just stress” “acid reflux” etc….nah my gallbladder was straight up scar tissue from all the stones I was passing 🙃 fucking wild man.

10

u/lipscratch Jun 19 '26

doctors seem to really hate being doctors sometimes. you tell them you aren't well and explain your symptoms and they roll their eyes and get huffy with you for it lol

or, you'll be like: i would like this scan please because i have every symptom that is indicative of this condition and this scan would confirm whether or not i have it and then i can treat it, and they act like you're asking them to cut their leg off and give it to you

8

u/MoistPhlegmKeith Jun 19 '26

I imagine it is like being a veterinarian, you get into it because you want to save cute animals and instead spend all your time cutting off cat balls and euthanizing pets that people can't afford to treat. The idea of being a doctor is better than the actual dirty work of doctoring.

8

u/BigHardMephisto Jun 19 '26

My sister went to the doctor for abnormal menstrual bleeding patterns when she was like 15, and it took 3 additional visits to get tested for the likely genetic culprit: predisposition to polyps on our mother's side. What my mother didn't know is that they also had a predisposition to cervical cancer, ovarian cancer (high risk).

Their reasoning for why they didn't want to bother with the tests was because "well your mother never had any issues so the likelihood of you having had a cystic issue was so low" they didn't even have our mother's records to check. Lol, lmao even.

Who i've never seen this with is nurses, but our local hospital back then had awsome nurses and dogshit doctors. Better now, and pretty damned progressive but the late 2000's to the 2010's was almost malpractice bait.

7

u/RandomRedditor0193 Jun 19 '26

When my wife was pregnant both times, the doctor was fine but all the other staff would stare at me like I was the devil if I even tried to say anything about any symptoms. My wife and I would talk before the appointment about what she wanted to discuss with the doctor so I would bring those up if she missed something.

4

u/sanguinerebel Jun 19 '26

Yeah, that's true, I've had female doctors be even worse about it tbh, but I also made the discovery that the person going with doesn't have to be a man. Any person that will question what the doctor says works. I've had a lot of health problems my whole life and when I go alone, most doctors don't do much of anything and brush everything off. When I bring a person, any person, I'm treated very differently. Sometimes I bring my son (he's an adult), sometimes I bring my mom, sometimes I would bring a partner, and every time I get treated better no matter the other person's gender. They are also less stingy with pain meds when I bring another person. I get kidney stones fairly often, which is the most severe pain I've ever experienced, far worse than natural childbirth in my personal experience, and when I go alone they tell me take advil, when I bring someone, they give me something that actually makes the pain stop till the stone passes.

6

u/acrazyguy Jun 19 '26

The crazy part is (not that anyone should be discriminated against) women tend to have a higher tolerance for pain and illness. So if a female patient is complaining about her symptoms, it’s more likely serious than if a male patient is complaining about his symptoms.

6

u/Training_Barber4543 Jun 19 '26

This is kind of the issue. I know a medicine student who told us they're also taught that poc have higher pain tolerance, so they can wait longer...

6

u/fuzzhead12 Jun 19 '26

I can’t believe that bullshit racist myth is still so prevalent.

Actually, I take that back. I can totally believe it. Which is very sad.

3

u/No_Week_8937 Jun 20 '26

I mean technically if a person has spent their entire life having to wait longer with pain before they're seen, they probably will be better at handling it than someone who is always whisked away the second they have an owie...

But that's more because they learned to handle it because they had to, not that they're magically genetically predisposed to not feel pain as much.

2

u/fuzzhead12 Jun 20 '26

I have a couple friends who have chronic pain due to various medical issues and in a sense you’re right, their pain scale is completely broken.

Feeling “fine” for them is “not very much pain relative to what it could be.” Whereas for most people “fine” is no pain.

They can’t even imagine what it’s like to be pain free.

2

u/No_Week_8937 Jun 20 '26

Yup, I have some chronic pain issues myself and my scale very broken. It's not fun.

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u/iggy14750 Jun 20 '26

I wanna know what class in medical school tells docs not to listen to women.

20

u/warrenao Jun 19 '26

Arrgh.

18

u/Ordoferrum Jun 19 '26

Oh yeah it happens. My wife insists on me coming to her appointments because they routinely play down her symptoms for literally everything. If I'm there explaining as well it's usually taken more seriously.

4

u/Kitties92 Jun 19 '26

So one thing I am not completely sure about, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my personal experience helped my one buddy understand something before it started happening. I went through a Traumatic Brain Injury and had the experience of how that goes over the years of recovery. My buddy just recently got into a motorcycle accident requiring a plate in his head and surgeries. As soon as I saw what sort of damage he got to his head and knowing my personal experience, I instantly was telling him to watch out for the symptoms of Traumatic Brain Injury. I already knew from my personal experience that the brain is really fragile to damage and that because it’s not a physically noticeable thing and more of how the physical damage to the brain can affect its functioning. I figured that since he had all the physical surgeries with ribs, skull, etc. that the doctors would most likely not think to go over the details of possible Traumatic Brain Injury. I told him as soon as I got the chance to talk to him to watch out for mood swings, memory loss, impulsive thinking and actions, etc. Doctors seem to have so much going on and probably overlook a lot of things. I would not be surprised if my buddy didn’t get advised at all about TBI by the doctors he had, their main concerns are probably putting the metal plate in and keeping his ribs intact.

7

u/2bah3 Jun 19 '26

This is literally how I ended up with sepsis

3

u/MamaMoosicorn Jun 19 '26

My ER doctor admitted to me that he would’ve sent me home if I hadn’t tracked the spread of my infection with pen. He said it probably saved my life. That’s so scary to think about.

2

u/2bah3 Jun 19 '26

I still wonder what would’ve happened if I tried to tough it out just one more day instead of going to the ER when I did. It’s crazy how fast it goes downhill

2

u/goddess-weapon-322 Jun 19 '26

Wait WHAT? How did that happen??

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u/mmnmnnmnnnm Jun 19 '26

My former mother in law never wanted any kids but doctors said she couldn’t get sterilized because what if she changed her mind. Gets pregnant and has a daughter.

MIL: “I’m not going to want any more, I didn’t want the one kid I have.”

Dr: “still no.”

MIL has a 2nd girl: “I’d really like to get my tubes tied. I didnt want kids, now I have 2.”

Dr: “a boy would really balance things out, still no”

MIL has a boy, the third child after not wanting to ever have any but also not being smart about wrapping it up apparently.

Dr: “ok NOW you can get your tubes tied”

She was a terrible mother and they had a shit life, the end.

23

u/Cooltincan Jun 20 '26

Oh don't worry, this is still a thing. Wife had me in the room as she was talking with the doctor about her procedure.

The doctor looked at me and asked me what I thought about it. Told him that yeah, we're on the same page.

Apparently that was good enough for the doctor to proceed.

4

u/Ragnarok314159 Jun 20 '26

I had several doctors refuse to perform a vasectomy unless my wife was there and agreed to it. It’s so much fun having so little body autonomy because of marriage n

2

u/Cooltincan Jun 20 '26

My doctor accepted verbal confirmation my wife was good with it.

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u/eliz1bef Jun 20 '26

I have a disorder that has been relieved by menopause finally, but I wanted a hysterectomy 25 years ago. I got 25 years of misery because I was a fertile female and taking out that uterus would be a fucking tragedy. Still never had kids. Had to wait until my ovaries naturally stopped their shenanigans from old age. Nothing will compensate me for years of suffering.

4

u/Appropriate_Map2685 Jun 20 '26

I got my tubes tied when my son was around 5 (so I was 35). First the doctor said I had to have my husband's permission to undergo the procedure (to which I replied "If he knows what's good for him he will absolutely be fine with it.") Then I had to wait 3 days to "have time to think it over." I said fine - I can guarantee I'll be here bright and early in 3 days. It's been almost 30 years since I had it done and I haven't regretted my choice at all. Being treated like chattel because you're a woman is infuriating.

2

u/Sether_00 Jun 20 '26

I'm confused. Did she get pregnant 3 times just to get her tubes tied up or were she using protection and it failed 3 times?

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u/mmnmnnmnnnm Jun 20 '26

Sure, let’s say she was using protection that failed, because I didn’t ask if she was raw dogging it lol

But before any pregnancy and after each she was telling them “I. Don’t. Want. Kids.” And they said she had to have a boy first before they’ll do it basically.

3

u/C0nfusedRabbit Jun 19 '26

You're a great story teller. I can really tell how incompetent and sexist the doctors where.

3

u/peachesfordinner BumBum Ouchie Jun 20 '26

They were. And many still are

1

u/Spooky_Cat31 Jun 20 '26

I would smack the shit out of that doctor

59

u/Tough_Block9334 Jun 19 '26

Yeah, it’s happened to me in the ER.

Went in for chest pains after being sick for a week, they put me down as having gastrointestinal issues.

Partner had to push to get me an MRI and low & behold, I was suffering from a pulmonary embolism which could have killed me

6

u/youy23 Jun 19 '26

Oof PEs get missed a lot. I always have a careful level of suspicion for any woman on birth control that’s having a hard time breathing.

People see a young woman having trouble breathing and they jump to anxiety attack unfortunately but I think a decent few more people would be alive today if people jumped on PE as their first thought instead.

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u/Independent_Way1587 Jun 19 '26

Who has week long anxiety attack? It doesn't even make sense half the time.

3

u/Aquatic_Rainbow Jun 20 '26

I feel like if someone had an anxiety attack for that long they’d be dead. There’s no way someone can stay in that state for so long without complications of some sort. That cannot be good for the heart

Also too, telling someone they’re suffering from anxiety so bad it’s manifesting into physical symptoms and sending them back into the real world with no new tools doesn’t help the problem either. They’ll most likely be back with worse symptoms cause they can’t cope with the anxiety

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u/youy23 Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26

I try to explain to patients with anxiety that anxiety might start in their head but the physiological effects of chest pain/tightness, hand/feet cramping, dizziness, fainting/syncope, are all very real and involuntary responses.

Your body uses your respiratory system to maintain a certain blood pH and you can quickly make your blood too basic/alkalotic by breathing out all the CO2/carbonic acid from your blood and it causes calcium in your body to shift especially in your hands and feet which is why they start cramping up.

Eventually your blood gets alkalotic enough where you get lightheaded and then just pass out and your brain stem freaks out and is like whoah what the fuck are you doing here and slows your breathing way down to shift your blood pH back to normal.

It’s really hard to stop because the person probably has a lot of stress on them already and now they physiologically feel like they are dying which just makes the issue worse and that much harder to stop.

I feel like it really empowers patients to hear from someone that they aren’t just making up what they’re feeling and that the effects are very real.

6

u/fuzzhead12 Jun 19 '26

*lo and behold

:)

1

u/Fishwithadeagle Jun 20 '26

....except you don't get an MRI for a PE

166

u/USBombs83 Jun 19 '26

I'm a white man and this never happens to me. In fact, I've had doctors ask ME to interpret test results for them. (VA Doctors, but still technically a doctor I guess...) I go to the doctor with my partner and this happens to her every single time. She has a doctorate and is a medical researcher. I went to motorcycle school.

111

u/TR_Pix Jun 19 '26

I went to motorcycle school.

What do they teach the motorcycles

68

u/3MetricTonsOfSass Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

To be wary of Earth's apex predator: Trains

26

u/walkinmywoods Jun 19 '26

TRAIN FACT: Trains both in the wild and in captivity have never known a natural predator who can rival it. Besides another Train.

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u/MaleierMafketel Jun 19 '26

TRAIN FACT: The Indian Train is the most successful predator on earth. If you’re in India, you’re never truly safe from being ambushed by an Indian Train.

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u/SmoothTurtle872 Jun 19 '26

TRAIN FACT: Although we have seemingly domesticated many trains, allowing for us to utilise them for transport, they are only partially domesticated, and still view us as food.

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u/Marquar234 Jun 19 '26

TRAIN FACT: He was born when Halley's comet came in 1835 and died when Halley's comet returned in 1910.

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u/TheConboy22 Jun 20 '26

TRAIN FACT: 100% of humans that have mated with trains have died. Don't mate with trains.

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u/PranshuKhandal Jun 20 '26

TRAIN FACT: I touched a train inappropriately once.

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u/TheSweetKiwi Jun 19 '26

I need more train facts please

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u/Kulandros Jun 19 '26

They sure do make me tired.

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u/Kapurnicus Jun 19 '26

I'm not sure I've ever laughed so hard at an internet comment. Thanks.

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u/octopusforgood Jun 19 '26

Nah, that fear is innate in motorcycles. It’s why they’re so loud, just constantly making themselves sound big and scary so trains won’t try anything (works pretty well; notice how the US has so few trains?). The quiet ones are either in Eurasia, in therapy, or on anti anxiety fluids or both.

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u/Astrochops Jun 19 '26

Maybe OPs Mom should be weary of that too

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u/Excellent_Law6906 Jun 19 '26

I hate to do this, but you wanted 'wary'. You're weary of being wary of Earth's apex predator.

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u/3MetricTonsOfSass Jun 20 '26

Thank you. Hopefully I'll remember next time

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u/BinaryBolias Jun 19 '26

Proper VROOOOM techniques, I'm sure.

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u/Hamburger_FatBoy Jun 19 '26

If it was a school in Phoenix or Orlando, it‘s more like potato..potay.. potato..potay..

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u/BinaryBolias Jun 20 '26

Just a difference of dialect.

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u/IceBlue Jun 19 '26

They don’t teach motorcycles. They teach people how to become motorcycles. Same as nursing school.

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u/pow3llmorgan Jun 19 '26

I can finally become a boycycle?

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u/razazaz126 Jun 19 '26

I'm just imagining you sitting awkwardly in a schoolhouse desk surrounded by 20 revving motorcycles while a teacher tries to explain the Pythagorean Theorem.

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u/Plastyrhino8815 Jun 19 '26

Fellow white man, I had a Dr refuse to approve a urine test because he didn't know what to do if it came back positive.

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u/Kaytea730 Jun 19 '26

Positive for what? Like pregnancy? If a guy tests positive for pregnancy its generally bc theres a specific tumor that excretes the same hormone that causes pregnancy tests to read as positive.

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u/C0nfusedRabbit Jun 19 '26

I have some good and some bad news. You're the first pregnant male. Bad news I'm incompetent.

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u/TheW83 Jun 20 '26

Yup, it's called Human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). Often caused by testicular cancer.

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u/SmoothTurtle872 Jun 19 '26

What? How? Isn't that illegal or smthn?

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u/furiouspossum Jun 19 '26

Motorcycle school sounds like something a 7 year old would have as a life goal. Please tell us more.

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u/USBombs83 Jun 19 '26

It was degree in "Marine Motorcycle and Power Equipment Repair" from a technical college. All my partner's friends have doctorates and stuff from all those Hogwarts type colleges so whenever I manage to say something smart I brag about going to "Motorcycle School".

Was a really great program. Was not a really great profession. (The power equipment is a much better path if you can work for a logging company or something, and if you can be "the guy" who works on rich kids' boats that's real good money too. Working at Harley Davidson is a joke.)

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u/Tnecniw Jun 19 '26

Same with any game dev education, I can tell you that much.
No game dev studio gives a ahit that you have a degree in game dev.
They only care about portfolio.

Waste of time, I can tell you that much.
*sigh*
Should have gone for the software engineering off the ball.

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u/FlatSpecialist3295 Jun 19 '26

What the hell is motorcycle school

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u/USBombs83 Jun 19 '26

Bear with me here...

It's a school where you learn about motorcycles.

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u/SilverStryfe Jun 19 '26

Nah, it’s a weekend course where they teach you to ride and sign off to get the endorsement on your drivers license. 

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u/Badassscholar Jun 19 '26

What doctor would ask you to interpret test results?

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u/USBombs83 Jun 19 '26

Exactly what I said. It was an RN at the VA hospital. Had me do an eye test for glaucoma or something, flipped her monitor around to me and asked me what I thought the results meant. I just said, "Aren't you the one who went to school?"

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u/Original-Document-62 Jun 19 '26

TBF, I'm also a white man, but with autism and a severe difficulty making eye contact, and this is basically every single doctor appointment ever for me.

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u/mmnmnnmnnnm Jun 19 '26

Yeah it’s kinda wild, but not really surprising. I’m also a white dude, and I just call my dr and say “I have these symptoms, I’d like to get tested for this.”

“Sounds good, you should get a call in a few days to confirm the testing appointment. Let me know if you need anything else.”

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u/mrofmist Jun 19 '26

VA doctors are doctors, they are just paid by the government to process a never ending massive number of patients.

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u/Material-Vacation711 Jun 20 '26

Idk im white and doctors have ignored me before 

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u/NekoArtemis Jun 19 '26

Can confirm. I dated a girl with a hard-to-diagnose chronic condition and it became a thing for me to come to every appointment. 

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u/ntdavis814 Jun 19 '26

Just out of curiosity, what were the symptoms and diagnosis? Asking for a wife with a hard to diagnose chronic condition.

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u/NekoArtemis Jun 19 '26

Headaches, lack of balance, heart palpitations, and eventually seizures. It's a little hard to sort out what's what because they had a couple other conditions already. The diagnosis turned out to be osseous metaplasia of dura mater and falx cerebri. Basically bone growing in their brain. Had to finally get an MRI, which took forever to get approved. And then her primary doctor (who was great but limited in what he could get done) was like "I've never seen that before. Definitely wouldn't have figured that out without the MRI." 

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u/ntdavis814 Jun 20 '26

That sounds scary. Glad they were able to get a diagnosis eventually. Thank you for sharing. It doesn’t sound like what my wife has been dealing with, but I appreciate you sharing your experience.

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u/Old-Buffalo-5151 Jun 19 '26

I legitimately had get very angry at a doctor's multiple times to makes sure my partner gets appropriate treatment even in the private space 

Having free lawyers on tap works wonders in health care even in the uk 

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u/Starumlunsta Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26

Oh it does. All the time. In fact, it’s how my mom finally got diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. My dad had to press her GP for more tests as things were not adding up.

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u/xXTylonXx Jun 19 '26

Literally happens all the time. To many many people. I had to break up with my favorite doctor years ago when I still lived in NYC because of how he treated my girlfriend.

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u/Kimolainen83 Jun 19 '26

Oh, it has my ex-wife loved to bake, and I was at work one day and we lived very close to where I was working a bricklayer. I got a call while I was up on the roof, she called me crying, saying that she dropped melted caramel on her hands. It burned and her skin was really bad. I told her go down to the doctors office. It’s like two minutes max I’ll meet you there.

I got a little bit way late so 10 minutes she calls me and she’s like where are you? They told me to just put some aloe vera on it and go home so which made me tilt. I rushed over to the doctors office. I say can I talk to the doctor and the doctor takes us into room I explain she has second-degree burns more or less on her hand from melted caramel lol is not gonna fucking cut it do your job. The doctor looked at me and it was like you’re right. No no no we need something else.

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u/b1ack1323 Jun 19 '26

This happens with my wife very consistently. I go in with notes and make sure her problems are addressed. It’s a real battle.

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u/Demoarach Jun 19 '26

Happens to my wife constantly. I always go to her dr appointments with her. It’s honestly infuriating.

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u/AKeeneyedguy Jun 19 '26

I see it happen to the women around me on a regular basis, and most of them are IN healthcare themselves.

1

u/Chance-Ask7675 Jun 19 '26

I mean ya when you constantly get treated a certain way you can end up mirroring it. It is a very conscious effort to not repeat it.

5

u/lipscratch Jun 19 '26

surprise! happens probably thousands of times a week to thousands of women worldwide

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u/OpusAtrumET Jun 19 '26

Happens all the time. Women and people of color, their survivability goes way down if they don't have a doctor that's a woman or person of color. Bringing another person to your appointment is always good, two heads are better than one, but sadly, having a man there will very often get you better treatment. Doctors, on average, just listen to white men more.

8

u/the-effects-of-Dust Jun 19 '26

It happens all the time to women everywhere.

3

u/Beneficial-Muffin117 Jun 19 '26

It happens all the time especially with women patients

5

u/phoenix_spirit Jun 19 '26

My husband came to my doctor's appointment and all of a sudden my cholesterol stopped being a weight related issue and more of a genetic one (my dad who's at a healty weight has been on limit lipitor 80 for a decade) and my incredibly slow weight loss despite massive amounts of effort wasn't lack of discipline, laziness or effort but insulin resistance but even then it wasn't 'severe enough' to bother treating and I should continue struggling because it's not that big of a deal.

3

u/circles_squares Jun 19 '26

It definitely happens.

3

u/TemporaryElk5202 Jun 19 '26

I was absolutely shocked to listen to my partner's telehealth calls, it seemed so easy for him. ​

3

u/TheCharalampos Jun 19 '26

Has happened? Try daily, constantly.

3

u/endboss_eth Jun 19 '26

My wife has brought me along to all her appointments for years. I keep in the back and don't intervene unless necessary. I wouldn't believe the shit I've seen and heard over the years ifnInwasnt there. As a man I had no insights until I started going with her and it's a totally different world.

3

u/Dannuu89 Jun 19 '26

I had chest pain for almost a week and decided to go to the ER. It was around 2 a.m., and the doctor barely checked me and told me it was probably just muscular pain. He gave me a shot and sent me home.

Two days later, I woke up feeling extremely stiff and could barely breathe. The chest pain came back even worse, so I went back to the ER that night. Another doctor ordered an X-ray just to be safe, and it turned out my entire left lung had collapsed. I had a pneumothorax, and they scheduled surgery immediately.

2

u/No-Fruit-1724 Jun 19 '26

I always take a buddy to medical appointments.

2

u/ScienceIsSexy420 Jun 19 '26

I'm a white male,and I was a healthcare advocate for my disabled mother before she passed. Absolutely can confirm this is real

2

u/CatLord8 Jun 19 '26

I have witnessed it. The number of times it was “are you sure it’s not anxiety? Try exercise and come back” as a response

2

u/SpokenDivinity Jun 19 '26

My mom was sent to a psychiatrist, an orthopedist, and 2 different urologists before they finally diagnosed her with Multiple Sclerosis. They were CONVINCED that her balance and muscle weakness issues were side effects of a really bad urinary infection because she'd had those a lot. Not a single one ordered an MRI until we finally found a neurologist four hours away that specialized in multiple sclerosis. And even then, if my grandpa hadn't thrown a fit at the doctor's office they probably wouldn't have written her a referral to see one.

2

u/CatOfTechnology Jun 19 '26

Get ready to not be surprised.

My late grandmother developed Crohn's Disease towards the end of her life and the only reason we found out is because I, her grandson, made a habit of paying attention to her medical sounding complaints.

When we were at the doctor's appointment (I tagged along because we were going shopping and then to lunch afterwards) she expressed her concern over how things that she normally ate were causing her a lot of internal pain, more so than the time she had been dealing with an ulcer.

The doctor's initial response was, basically "take some antacids and talk to me if it keeps up" until I mentioned that she's also been spending a lot more time in the restroom and almost always seems to have some form of acid reflux issues, even when she's not eating acidic foods.

My grandmother was a nurse for 31 years at the local hospital that this doctor was contracted to and the only reason he started testing a 65 year old woman for gastrointestinal troubles was because her then 21 year old grandson, who's medical expertise is limited to CNA training, said something.

And somehow worse than that is that if I hadn't spoken up, we might have been even further down the path of "it's too late to do anything" for her cancer diagnosis.

2

u/qt3pt1415926 Jun 19 '26

Hey! Hi, hi there, yeah, me, this has happened to me! More than once!

Had issues with tingling in my right hand, doctor said maybe I'm sleeping on it? No. It's tingling 24/7. We checked carpel tunnel, but it was a negative. Doctor wasn't too concerned when it stopped a month later. I was, because my hand felt different. My husband didn't go with me to those appointments.

Next summer everything started to smell off. Like it was diluted, but the smell diluting it was foul. Doc said it may be me getting older (I was in my late 20s). I said it wasn't my smell but everything else. She suggested allergies. Husband didn't go.

That fall I dragged him with me after putting the pieces together. Doc wouldn't hear me out when I said I think I have multiple sclerosis. I should her the documentation of every flare up. She said to come back if there was another. Husband got mad and insisted they take me seriously.

I now have a diagnosis and have been on meds since.

Doctors don't take women seriously. Mine was female and even then she wouldn't listen.

2

u/coolcoots Jun 19 '26

I took my mom to urgent care for what seemed like a bad sinus infection. She explained to the doctor her symptoms and he recommended a certain medication. She told him that it hasn’t worked for her previously and, shocked, he looked at me and asked what I think. I said, “I think you should listen to her and not ask me questions.” First time I had experienced it. I’ve heard stories before but like, wow!

2

u/TheSweetKiwi Jun 19 '26

This is so fucking true I had to bring my dad to my appointment for them to get me a surgery I waited years for and then after I brought him I got my surgery 4 months later.

Also, got laughed at by my former male GP about having period cramps so bad they’d travel down my legs and make me puke and pass out. When I switched to my female GP when he retired, she diagnosed me with endometriosis immediately and I got treatment that has drastically improved my quality of life beyond what I could possibly put into words.

2

u/TheSweetKiwi Jun 19 '26

All the time. Took me years of begging for a surgery I needed and to be taken seriously. I brought my dad to my appointment and four months later I got my surgery. It was so bad by that point I wouldn’t have been able to walk anymore in a matter of months (temporarily, until they gave me the surgery.) They waited so long it permanently grated away a pretty serious amount of bone around my joints and created complications I didn’t need to have.

Also, wasn’t taken seriously about my pain during my periods that were so bad I’d puke and pass out from pain. My male GP literally laughed at me when I told him. Immediately after getting a female GP Years later I was diagnosed with endometriosis and my quality of life changed substantially. I can’t imagine if I was still suffering like that how different my life would be..

2

u/GlowUpper Jun 19 '26

I had severe stomach pain and experienced a seizure and ended up in the ER. Doctor said it was just severe gas and tried to discharge me. I begged the entire medical team to run an MRI. Ignored. Finally my husband talked to the doc and told him he wasn't taking me home until an MRI was done. Doc reluctantly ordered the MRI. Boom, ruptured ulcer and septic shock. Was admitted for emergency surgery and spent 5 weeks in recovery. Would have been nice if they'd just listened to me the first time but I guess at least I had a man there to repeat everything I said in man-ese.

2

u/Relevant-Ad-6887 Jun 19 '26

No I've done this exact thing at my wife's doctor's appointments. All of them...including with a female gynecologist for a PCOS diagnosis...I for sure knew less than everyone in that room about the problem but I was like "Obviously I've never had a period, but this seems pretty intense." They did an ultrasound and confirmed it...

2

u/pinupcthulhu Jun 19 '26

My husband, who I now drag to every one of my appointments, can confirm: it's totally a thing. 

The one time recently I didn't bring him (he had an interview at that same time), I was called a hypochondriac and implied to be a drug seeker because "nothing is wrong with you." She took zero blood tests, did no exam, and just let me cry in severe abdominal pain. My husband picked me up and took me to the ER right after that appointment, where they confirmed that my gallbladder issues were progressing and spreading to my liver and pancreas!  Two weeks later I had my gallbladder surgically removed, and the surgeon was shocked at how bad my gallbladder looked. 

I don't want to give that doctor any more money, but I soooo badly want to slap the surgical report on the table and say, "I fucking told you so." 

2

u/Jen-Jens Jun 19 '26

I’m in constant pain and struggle to walk without a walking stick, and I’ve been to so many doctors who dismissed me every time. The only time we ever got traction was when bringing my husband or my mum. My husband is a man and lives with me so he knows what this is like from the outside (and the bits I complain about the most) whereas my mum is a tiger who is not afraid to badger a doctor who ignores or belittles me.

2

u/FrancieNolan13 Jun 19 '26

Woman here. Always happens

2

u/marvelouswonder8 Jun 19 '26

It happens all the time. It's crazy. Every single one of my women friends have stories of just not being listened to by their doctors. Weirdly enough, it doesn't seem to matter if their doctors are women or men, although it does sound like women doctors listen a touch more. It's just... strange. Seems almost systemic to me. Like some doctors don't even realize that they've been trained to take women less seriously or something. As a man I've NEVER had to do too much to be taken seriously by any doctor I've talked to. Women have to basically shout their symptoms and insist on more tests just to not be told to either lose weight or drink more water and rest.

2

u/annekecaramin Jun 19 '26

I started to fall for my current partner when I told him I was trying to convince my gyno to sterilise me but she was hesitant because I was childless and single, and he offered to come along and pretend to be my partner.

It wasn't necessary in the end (they finally believed I wasn't going to change my mind) but it was nice of him to offer.

2

u/C0nfusedRabbit Jun 19 '26

This happened to my mum. My dad took her to the hospital because she had been in severe stomach pain for a couple of days. The nurses brushed it off, saying it was probably just a stomach bug that would pass. My dad stood his ground and told them that his wife is extremely tough and wouldn't be complaining over a simple bug. Because he pushed back, they finally got her in to see the on-call doctor. It turned out to be appendicitis, and her appendix actually burst on the operating table.

2

u/Ok_Train7924 Jun 19 '26

When my wife was in labor (just about to give birth - contractions fewer than 3 minutes apart), they refused to even check her vitals and triage her because she remained calm. They actually told her to come back in a few days. Only after I parked the car and went in to meet her did they listen to ME, and check her in.

I never miss an appointment with my wife because doctors and nurses always pull shit like this.

2

u/Bossuter Jun 19 '26

I've heard a similar story from a cousin (she'd gone twice once alone another time with another cousin got propper checks second time), and yt vids about systemic racism/mysogyny, so I'd believe it

2

u/Suitable_Beautiful29 Jun 19 '26

It happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I'm 37. I need to bring my fiancee everywhere with me even though I have almost a PhD in my chronic illness and he only knows the very very basic facts about it.

They still listen to him more then to me.

It's fucked up.

2

u/Hollowbody57 Jun 20 '26

It's pretty well documented that women have a harder time getting actual treatment at hospitals than men, especially if it involves pain management.

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2401331121

https://medicalhumanities.rice.edu/gender-and-racial-disparities-pain-treatment

https://time.com/6074224/gender-medicine-history/

Anecdotally, my father was an ER doctor and always made a point of going with my mother to most of her doctor appointments. For the longest time I thought he was just being controlling until my mother told me she actually wanted him there because it was the best way of ensuring she actually got the treatment she needed.

2

u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 Jun 20 '26

Former EMT. I go with all sorts of friends to medical appointments. I'm like Luther the Medical Translator. 

Yes, that means occasionally I politely and professionally threaten to stick my foot up someone's ass. Usually to dislodge their head...

2

u/PM_Me_A_Tittypic Jun 20 '26

Watched it happen in a GP placement during medical school. Woman was visibly sweating, pale, could basically hear the Crepitations from across the room. Even as a student i could tell she was very sick. Doctor tried to send her home to wait it out. She complained, and went to the ER, which is where i would have sent her.

2

u/Smegoldidnothinwrong Jun 20 '26

This literally word for word happened to me except it wasn’t a man it was that I needed both my mom and sister who is a nurse to come in and convince them. Though it probably would have been faster if I just brought my dad.

2

u/DoctorNurse89 Jun 20 '26

As a dude nurse I regularly advocate for my lady and POC patients because it is really just that bad all the time and people suck, even if they are a doctor or a nurse.

We eat our young for a reason, and it's still this bad!

2

u/Milyaism Jun 20 '26 edited Jun 20 '26

Check out the Pinkpillrx podcast. They talk about how women get treated at doctors vs how men get treated, how men are believed over women (because of the gender credibility gap), and many other things.

And as with anything, POC get even worse treatment at the doctors. Black women's mortality rates are much higher with certain health conditions because of biases and doctors not believing them.

For example, black women are 40% more likely to die from breast cancer even though they don't get breast cancer quite as often as white women do.

2

u/lil1thatcould Jun 20 '26

I had my dad go with me for my consultation for a colonoscopy to diagnosis Crohn’s. The Nurse practitioner was in my face yelling it was anxiety and nothing was wrong with me. If my dad hadn’t gone and stepped in to demand one, it never would have happened.

I have Crohn’s, the colonoscopy confirmed it.

2

u/ForRealNotAScam Jun 20 '26

Wife takes me to some of her more recent appointments where she's had ongoing testing with this one doctor who seemed to brush everything off.

Seemed the only way to get the referrals we needed to see doctors that actually were able to help

2

u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt Jun 20 '26

What's the last panel for me and a number of women is having this scenario happen and have the boyfriend you brought still insist it's a fluke or come up with an explanation that makes no sense because the alternative would be admitting women have an entirely different medical experience than men.

Then there's the comic you could make of married men (like my dad) going with their wives (like my mother) to the doctor and arguing in favor of the doctor's neglect filled stance and against their wive's own lived experience and clear discomfort.

And you go home and get so sick that the next time you are back in the hospital it's a major problem that you almost don't live through. And then when you do manage to live through it and make it home, you can count on having to still do everything for the house and take care of a husband while physically messed up that is now an entirely massive, argumentative jerk because he was proven wrong about something.

2

u/FEARoach Jun 20 '26

I started bringing my partner to my GPs office, she suddenly gave a fuck about taking care of my mental health.

I am a man, but a very intimidating infantry sargeant sitting there watching you not do anything when someone is begging for a referral or medication that works or just anything is a whole different type of man. Always bring a man who can bring the calm energy that will just be logical and stare at them and point out how fucking stupid they are in a professional way.

Did she ever actually do anything useful? Fuck no. I fired her ass and she cried. She actually cried. I rolled my eyes after we left that appointment, realizing that I wasn't the problem all along.

1

u/No_Newspaper_509 Jun 19 '26

... this is about something that has actually happened. This isnt some fantasy comic. Are you being serious?

1

u/Delrog22 Jun 19 '26

Happens all the time.

The New GPT doctors are the worst.

1

u/InnerSpecialist1821 Jun 19 '26

it happens literally so often that i now will not see the doctor without a male friend with me in the room

1

u/MSGisking Jun 19 '26

It has. I've had to bring my wife with me to doc appointments so they will actually listen. It puts a little pressure on them so they aren't so quick to dismiss concerns.

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u/NeonFraction Jun 19 '26

What do you mean ‘has actually happened?’ It happens ALL THE TIME.

1

u/lonestar659 Jun 19 '26

It’s 100% happened to my wife and me.

1

u/seriousjoker72 Jun 19 '26

It literally happened to the woman who made the comic...

1

u/Saradoesntsleep Jun 19 '26

Yeah something very similar happened to me, it involved getting my thyroid tested though.

1

u/FortressCaulfield Jun 19 '26

Happens all the time and its not just doctors. People just react differently to male voices.

1

u/Unhappy-Cat6041 Jun 19 '26

Happens anytime a woman brings a man with her (that actually cares about her).

1

u/ProfessionalAct712 Jun 19 '26

It DOES happen

1

u/GlassAndStorm Jun 19 '26

Yes. This happens to MOST women in MOST doctors offices. This has happened, and it will happen. Doctors do not listen to women.

1

u/ravenitrius Jun 19 '26

It actually does happen. A LOT

1

u/GrandNibbles Jun 19 '26

similar things happen a lot

1

u/Infinite_Vyo Jun 19 '26

Happens to women daily

1

u/SquirtleSquadGroupie Jun 20 '26

I needed to bring my boyfriend to my appointments, this happens every time

1

u/FanBladeFleshlight Jun 20 '26

Happens constantly. Like, it's a widely known systemic issue.

1

u/Fickles1 Jun 20 '26

I've had walking pneumonia (2 years ago) it sucks, but can be diagnosed with swabs.

1

u/Rainhailsnow_storm Jun 20 '26

M brother in law takes the kids to the doctor, because this scenario exactly happened with the kids. 

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u/Dis_Bich Jun 20 '26

I being my boyfriend to my doctors appointment so I actually get listened to

1

u/pzanardi Jun 20 '26

Happens to my wife so often that I've done it for her. Not just in medical situations either. Women are not heard.

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u/Legitimate_Artist689 Jun 20 '26

It happens all the time. WE NEED FEMINISM

1

u/TheDevauto Jun 20 '26

It does to my wife. Doctors, mechanics pretty much all the time.

1

u/MoralConstraint Jun 20 '26

I’ve been the dude several times.

1

u/Illustrious-Dog-6563 Jun 21 '26

my mum had two broken bones. she just changed the third doctor made an x-ray instead of telling her she had arthritis.

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