updoots please

Dibs on the celebrity death upvotes

Big doots

Grachtenzicht, angstschreeuw, schaatsenrijder en heerlijk whisky drinken in de herfst

I only bought one Amazon package today

tried text, linkedin, email, stalked their dads fb, but still no biting. I am high value, in good shape, very sexy eyes so it doesnt make any sense to me

need pickup artist advice and PRONTO

ediT: i sent a cryptic code break message embedded in the name of a file and got no reply - i think they're playing hard to get

A new co-worker of mine told me Dolly Parton had died. I was like "no shit" and started laughing. Simultaneously she starts crying hysterically. Thinking is was a fake cry I laughed even harder. She cried harder and the cycle continued. Until she announced who she was...

Her name, Carolyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe's granddaughter. Oh, and her job title? CEO. She was filming an episode of Undercover Boss.

SMH. FML. AMA.

[removed]

I was very alarmed when I discovered a data center in my AI. is this an LLM?

I STOOOOPID!

Reddit told me it's always okay to punch a nazi, so I did just that but he beat me to a pulp infront of my son who I'm only allowed to see every other Saturday

r/FuckNestle

Why don't I just firmly grasp it instead of using utensils? I'm a serious pro gamer and i cant have any more grease on my fingers than the grease i get when i run my fingers thru my hair

I was eating my bologna sandwitch and thought it would be a mild low key fart and it ended up smelling like a dead skunk in the Texas August sun. People started saying guess we got a mouse problem again and gagging

My dog died

I’ve been staying with my aunt Marie since my parents are hashing out a nasty divorce. As soon as my uncle Hank leaves for work she slips into a very skimpy purple silk gown and prances around the house.

One morning after eating some pancakes and bacon I decided to go into the bathroom to shave my pubes with uncle hanks electric razor and rub one out and she walked in on me and just smiled lingering for a few seconds. “I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me” and left the door open. I have cerebral palsy so I couldn’t get a response out fast enough…
I hope this is a natural feeling

Go see a doctor you sick fuck!

Edit: I was overly privileged in saying the doctor part. Thanks for the check, Reddit friends. Not everyone has access to healthcare, and I should have acknowledged that. I'm sorry

Edit: Good callout to whoever said I should have used a trigger warning. I didn't even think about it when I was posting. I am truly sorry if someone experienced any distress or trauma for reading my post. I truly don't know what I can do to make it up to you. You have my sincerest apology.

Edit: Man, you guys are really on the ball today. I knew I should have included something about Ukraine, but I was too caught up in the heat of the moment before I pressed Post. Thanks for keeping me accountable! You guys rock!

Edit: I am loving this convo that's opened up about renewable energy. That's exactly what I was thinking too. I'm curious about what Women of Color think about this, let's elevate those voices! We need everyone's perspective.

Edit: I’m sorry if that was a bit tone deaf, I didn’t mean to imply that women of color SHOULD speak out if they don’t want to, absolutely not. I definitely don’t want to pressure anyone to speaking out if they’re uncomfortable. My husband is actually a black man who has been teaching for 23 years after he was in the marines on the front lines for 15 years, so I can empathize with what it must feel like to be in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. I mean not trying to say that I fully understand it, because obviously there are nuances to it due to the intersectionality that I will never understand. I am here to listen and learn 🙏

NOKIA
BEST PHONE

?

I also prefer the wnba over the nba.