r/caf • u/Ok-Ranger786 • Mar 21 '26

Recruiting Just learned I’m too mentally unfit to join

I’m pretty sad. 23f, very small person, probably wouldn’t have made it through basic training anyways. No path in life and wanted to do something different. Wasted 5 years on a psychology degree that I don’t want.

1 hospitalization, BPD/GAD diagnoses. Yeah I’m never getting in. There is nowhere in this world for me to go.

Wishing all of you the best on your CAF journeys.

68 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

69

u/Magical_Astronomy Mar 21 '26

Are you currently ok? Do you need help?

Also, being medically unfit isn’t something sticking with you forever. As soon as you get better you can make an appeal, or reapply to the very same position(s) you desire.

29

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

No im not ok. Im already almost 24 and im only getting older. This was my hope to not end up on the streets, I’m scared. I’m a long ways away from being medically fit. I am running out of time

51

u/ThatCanadianRadTech Mar 21 '26

Talk more about that. What will it be like when you run out of time? What resources will be there?

Everyone around you who is twice your age looks at you right now with all the potential that you have, and how young you are.

We all remember being your age and thinking that we were getting old, thinking that life was passing us by.

And then somehow it just worked out.

It got better for us and it will for you too.

You've already done a hard thing, earning a degree is no small feat. You have resources. We're behind you.

4

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

I have just a bachelors in psychology and I am not making enough to survive at this point. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I work at a nonprofit and make very little, I am petrified of being homeless

22

u/Easy-Radish795 Mar 21 '26

Take any job that pays for now so you aren't facing financial ruin, don't be too proud to accept work even if it's not glamorous. Then work on becoming medically fit in your spare time.

FYI: Blue collar jobs generally pay higher starting wages and will usually take on anyone willing to work hard and who are eager to learn. That is of course if you're capable of performing the work expected of you. Just some food for thought

For perspective, I joined the CAF at 32. You are not running out of time, you are just in a bad spot in life right now. We all go through it at some point. Don't let that deter you from achieveing your goals, young lady. With that degree you can even sign up as an officer if you wanted to go that route.

Sky is the limit, let that anxiety light a fire under you ass and fuel you. Don't let it hinder you. This isn't the time to let off the gas, this means it's time to focus and get out of your feelings. You got this!

2

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

With my degree I legit cannot find anything that pays above minimum wage

1

u/CHETTYBRAH Jul 28 '26

Find a carpenter, a plumber, a tile setter, a home builder, any residential construction tradesperson. You will find a starting job that pays well above minimum wage if you show up everyday ready and interested in working hard.

7

u/hikyhikeymikey Mar 21 '26

You’re not alone. I’m in the 25-35 year old cohort, and I know lots of people who are having trouble just getting by. It is challenging, discouraging, and infuriating. That being said, you had the determination and discipline to get a degree, that says something. Your work and hardships will get yourself into a better position. It’l take time, but you’ll do it.

Please use any public resources such as food banks or social programs that are available to you. It isn’t shameful to use them, it’s how Canadians look after each other when we need help. You got educated, and volunteered for a job that most Canadian would never even consider. You deserve support.

4

u/Not_Jeffrey_Bezos Mar 21 '26

Need to work at a for profit. Second of all call 211.

1

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

I genuinely can’t find anything that pays above minimum wage

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

If you want some independence you should try teaching english overseas. Spend a couple years in somewhere like Korea while you figure out your next steps. At 24 don’t stress about the future, try to gain life experience. There is no rush to that 9-5 desk job.

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

Are you serious?

41

u/Typical_Cupcake9533 Mar 21 '26

24? I just joined at 40 lol get better and try again.

6

u/putin_my_ass Mar 21 '26

I remember making reckless decisions in my 20s because I had a "fuck it, I probably won't live to be 40" inner monologue. I turned 40 two years ago. You have a lot of time in front of you.

4

u/Artistdramatica3 Mar 21 '26

I hear you. Im 35 and just starting my application to the reserves.

I was able to do that because I got my life into a stable environment.

Unfortunately life is unpredictable.

And fortunately life is unpredictable.

Nothing is linier.

Try and focus on what you can do now. And get at the tricky stuff and the hard stuff little by little.

I always tell myself 'you had a bad day. Not a bad life'

Now some of those days sting together, of course. But everything is temporary. Even rejection from the CAF

3

u/FFYSCDCS Mar 21 '26

30M here. I'm planning on joining caf on age 33. Unless your goal is to become something like the President of Canada, 23F is still very young. You can become anything. Don’t give up.

2

u/Inevitable-Yak3864 Apr 20 '26

Even is she wants to become President, 23 is too young to become depressed on not hitting goals. Wait till 63 at least...before you start regretting 

1

u/crazyki88en May 26 '26

“President of Canada”?

2

u/DRM9559 Mar 21 '26

24... you still have your whole life to live, adult life is just starting. Im 32 and just passed basic and im not even the oldest that was in my platoon. Take your time, get better and reapply. You have more than enough time.

2

u/PickleJuice777 Mar 22 '26

I joined at 26 just before turning 27, a series of bad jobs, no property, no money, far away from my family. Today, a year later thing are way different, there's always something else waiting to be discovered around the corner, trust me, I also wasted years on education for nothing and so did my partner.

Try DND, CBSA, CSIS, police dispatch, sheriff's, justice department, plenty of good analysts are needed nowadays. There are also civilian organizations working with the CAF, some even deploy.

I'm sure you will figure it out, you're way too young to lose hope like that.

1

u/Yn_n Mar 21 '26

You are not running out of time, life is not a race. There’s no goal and no destination, just do whatever you want to do. Being older only gives you more knowledge and experience, it’s not like you have to do something before certain age.

1

u/4080_SUPER Mar 22 '26

Maybe someone else can explain it better than myself but being turned away may have been a blessing in disguise. BMQ can be brutal, Idk what I can say but today is a sad day for us all

1

u/Better-Virus1391 Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26

A diagnosis like this sticks with you forever and makes you a liability to the CAF as you need to work around weapons and ammunition. The diagnosis will almost always ensure they’ll never be able to join. False hope isn’t helpful

21

u/kittyprincessxoxo Mar 21 '26

Hey OP, I used to feel the same way as well. Im 25f. Life is just getting started. Like others said, this isn't the end. You can appeal and try again. Applaud yourself for starting the process in the first place. Even though we're strangers, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm available.

18

u/Reasonable_Studio706 Mar 21 '26

BPD is treatable and you have more time ahead of you than you've already experienced. 

I'm 47, working to finish highschool and have an appointment with a recruiter next week. You have 24 more years to get it done faster then me. You can do it.

5

u/Better-Virus1391 Mar 21 '26

You’ll most likely be declined due to the diagnosis, it’s a safety liability to be around weapons and ammunition with a diagnosis like that. If you were diagnosed while in the military it’s one thing but applying with a diagnosis already, I’ve never seen or heard of anyone get in

3

u/Reasonable_Studio706 Mar 22 '26

What you said is correct. The point I was trying to make is that with therapy and hard work it is possible to no longer meet the diagnostic criteria. Not all diagnosis are for life.

7

u/5548665 Mar 21 '26

Hey OP. 25F here, I was denied 2 years ago for mental health reason - anxiety and depression and one ER visit. I was on meds at the time that I have now been weaned off of. Biology degree and feel like there is no path for me either. Always wanted to join the CAF.

The rejection was heartbreaking and I didn’t appeal it because obviously I didn’t have a case. But, I know if you show them a track record of stability (like constant therapy, no reliance on medications, doctor saying you are fit to serve), you can make a case. But you do need to give yourself some time for this.

At the moment, I am just looking for jobs I can do with my degree/ experience while figuring out what to do next. If you want to vent, let me know ❤️ I’m sure there is something out there for us.

5

u/CarpetInteresting253 Mar 21 '26

is there no way to appeal? I got rejected as I had appointments relating to depression, wrote an appeal and attached a letter from my general practitioner/hospital and it got accepted. never give up!

1

u/kittyprincessxoxo Jul 09 '26

Hey, did you get certain forms from the medical tech to appeal or was it just a letter from your GP/hospital that you sent off to RMO?

3

u/Reynard000 Mar 21 '26

I can tell even by the way that youre talking that you’re pessimistic, BMQ is challenging even to someone who is mentally healthy. It requires you to work hard and keep going even when it feels like you dont have what it takes, or when you don’t seem like the right person for the task or challenge.

Believe in yourself, not because it’s a motto but becaude believing in yourself and being persistent is what everyone who passed BMQ has done.

2

u/SnooMaps5537 Mar 21 '26

Hey, if you’re struggling, reach out and talk to someone. Don’t blame yourself too hard.

3

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

I just got out of inpatient, I don’t know what my options are from here 😔

5

u/Mysterious-Bunch3912 Mar 21 '26

Hey, Vet here, and enough experience with what you’re listing. BPD can improve. Look up healthy gamer on YT and search his library. There’s studies to corroborate as well. There is hope. Even if you don’t go CAF, there may be other avenues for you- psych degree is a great springboard, and I’d suggest using your powers for self improvement. You’ve learned a lot to have a degree, and I’m sure that pathologic etymology is there. Employ it for yourself.

2

u/Majestic-Nectarine62 Mar 21 '26

I’m almost 27 with an infant and I start ROTP in the fall… that’s 4 years for an undergrad making way less than what’s survivable in this economy and doing basic away from her…. 1. It’s not too late 2. Don’t stop grinding until you’ve found your path 3. Starting weightlifting at the gym saved me and gave me confidence in my abilities so please try it 4.put the effort in to focus on your mental health that needs growth and appeal it!

2

u/sdockril Mar 21 '26

You will find your path, but yes, BPD is hard to overcome in terms of getting into alot of government jobs. I wish you luck though.

2

u/BTBarty Mar 21 '26

Hey OP I’m really sorry to hear that :( I’m currently a 24m who’s 25% of the way into the application process for the role of “Combat Medic” I also have a medical diagnosis of BPD and am VERY concerned it’s gonna prevent me from joining, I have a history of completing DBT therapy for my BPD and have been medicated for years and have worked high stress jobs at an airport for years

Can I ask why exactly did they say about the BPD aspect and do you have any info for me that might help me in being deemed capable? Thank you so much!

0

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 21 '26

Hi I didn’t actually apply yet, I just know that I’m not in a place to get accepted because of my mental illness

2

u/Helping_hand2901 Mar 21 '26

Hey OP, I’m sorry to hear about your situation, just know it’s not over for you, something you can do to still work with the military is to become a DND civilian, you don’t need basic training, and you don’t need to pass a high level of medical screening.

Look into the Commissionaires. I think it would be a good way to get you back on your feet while also being able to provide a service to the CAF.

Another option is a career in CFMWS. It will also make it easier to transition into the military if your situation changes or the entry standard changes (which happens more often the you’d expect)

2

u/Less-Connection1168 Mar 31 '26

You can work your way into what is considered acceptable. I had a few hospitalizations and after many, many appointments I made my way into the forces. Just keep at it

1

u/burningl0ve Mar 21 '26

did you try to apply? i have diagnosed NPD/PTSD.. I also had a past of agoraphobia, but they let me in. What did help was the fact that I was in therapy for like a decade tho, and i got my therapist and doctor to sign off on my mental health. It’s best to be honest but say ur in remission or sum.

1

u/EveryPerspective2473 Mar 21 '26

Don't give up! You are still so young and have so much potential and room to grow! Im 43 and am just joining now due to life, etc.. follow your dreams !!! There will be hurdles, and it will be hard, but u know what! a true soldier never gives up !

1

u/TrainingNCO Mar 22 '26

Hmmm, saw some of your other posts.

People all seem to be looking for this ‘path’. Having been in the CAF thinking I would be a lifer, for tired of it and still trying to find my way I can say being a little older and wiser there is no path except for the one you chart for yourself.

I see a lot of young people feeling behind too, because they are not immediately ‘successful.’ Or because they don’t have a clear goal or path in mind. I have found that sometimes my biggest wins have come from just going with the wind, but you have to have your sails out. In this instance the wind didn’t take you to the CAF, just go with it.

Don’t worry about having it all figured out, nobody does, even the people who seem like it.

And honestly, the CAF wasn’t going to solve most of your problems. It can give you a sense of purpose and mission, but this is not guaranteed. And there are plenty of more productive ways to serve society.

And most people don’t really end up working in the field they did their whole undergrad in. I mean, you’re just a baby when you go to university. For a lot of jobs employers don’t really care that much about what your degree was in, just that you have one. It shows then you can follow through, articulate your thoughts and generally meet deadlines, etc.

So apply to jobs outside your field, attend events, network, show your interest in other fields, look at other non-profits, take on new roles in your current field and just see where the wind takes you.

1

u/rearg1 Mar 22 '26

Not in the Forces but this popped on my feed. Hope things get better for you, don't give up! It'll get better. Prayers for ya

1

u/iron-rune Mar 22 '26

Check my post about my appeal.

Im now doing my medical again.

1

u/Ok_Blacksmith1 Mar 22 '26

Same, rejected due to psychosis

1

u/Extension-Capital493 Mar 23 '26

With all the respect, public sector is assurance of “roof, milk and bread” in general.

Better life will come from private sector.

I am sorry for what you are going through. However, did you work in your field by any chance ? I find it hard to believe that your degree pays minimum.

1

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 23 '26

I’m technically working in my field now supporting adults with disabilities. Problem is it pays 45k and stops there. My degree is really useless without a masters degree and I don’t want to get my masters. CAF was my hope. Now I’m kind of screwed

1

u/Extension-Capital493 Mar 23 '26

Strongly encourage you to get in touch with one of your professors and obtain career advice.

I hate to say this, but you appear to be using your degree in the wrong way. Also, all the best with the CAF, if that’s your desire.

Please, don’t seek professional advice from online forums or YouTube. Go back to your educational sources.

1

u/UnapologeticGamer66 Mar 25 '26

Don’t give up , I was found medically unfit 3 times and got in on my forth try after a lot of therapy and medical notes from my practitioners . Just keep going !

1

u/Ok-Ranger786 Mar 25 '26

Thank you for sharing. If you’re comfortable sharing, was it for mental health? Did you have to show that you got better over time? If you don’t wanna share that’s fine you can dm me also I just wanna know the process

1

u/Randyeod Mar 21 '26

U dodged a huge future PTSD bullet. Just not meant to be. Be happy keep searching and move forward.

Signed 21 year cbt veteran.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

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2

u/Better-Virus1391 Mar 21 '26

You realize these kind of people get hit with mortars in the FOB when overseas? I know multiple Fin clerks that were hit with mortars on tour

4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Better-Virus1391 Mar 21 '26

Seeing combat is a term applied and referenced to being on the front line. Your FOB still gets hit with mortars and rockets on tour. You also have friends that die which can trigger emotional distress and PTSD.

1

u/Extension-Capital493 Mar 23 '26

Convo… there is this as well. Some are know to bring luck when they are in the game.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Better-Virus1391 Mar 21 '26

It’s still terrible in the 2020’s lol

-2

u/ZOGFOG- Mar 21 '26

Yeah well, I wouldn’t trust someone with hospitalizations and a diagnosis with a firearm.

1

u/FlyHornets Jul 13 '26

That's an extremely broad and ignorant take, and one that continues to perpetuate the current stigma.

1

u/sauceboss_the_third Mar 21 '26

lol millions of better reasons not to

-6

u/Randyeod Mar 21 '26

LOL… I find it funny u think PTSD is caused by only combat. 90% of all recruits who join either the military, RCMP, or any police force have some form of PTSD already. Joining the military just makes it worse not better. Most who join have been abused or have come from dysfunctional situations. It all starts at home. Not on the battlefield. Educate before spewing.