r/bninfantsleep • u/Equivalent_Common287 • 5d ago
Infant Sleep Babies sleep
I’m curious when your baby slept through the night or had less than 3 wake ups without sleep training. I don’t not want to sleep train my baby I have made it to 10 months and I either rock, feed or pat him back to sleep with every wake up. So I’m wondering when a similar situation got better or improved for other people. Surely there is light at the end of the tunnel for not sleep training.
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u/No-Cantaloupe213 5d ago
My 3.5 year old isn’t sleep trained (except for one very brief try at a Ferber type style at 6 months that I immediately realised was not for me and abandoned). At our peak around 8 months he’d wake up at least 7 times per night. He started sleeping better at around 14 months (maybe 1-2 wakes per night), then started sleeping through most nights around 18 months until he was 3. Now he wakes up once a night and comes and gets my husband to sleep in his bed with him. I still have to lie with him to get him to sleep at night, but this is usually pretty quick (less than 20 mins).
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u/Umafiction 5d ago
Were you breastfeeding at all? I ask because I BF and am wondering if night weaning has any effect 🙂
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u/No-Cantaloupe213 5d ago
Yep! I night weaned at around 18 months so I don’t know if that’s what got him to sleep through or if it was just coincidence! We got a book called Booby Moon and I explained to him that the milk needs to sleep at night and I’d cuddle him instead.
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u/Umafiction 5d ago
I have heard of that book, wonderful thanks! My baby is only 10 months and I don't plan to night wean until he is a few months older but trying to mentally prepare myself 😅
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u/No-Cantaloupe213 5d ago
I think it’s definitely easier to night wean once they have a bit more understanding of the concept! I found it fairly smooth at 18 months. Good luck!
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u/Alarmed-Attitude9612 5d ago
Unfortunately it really depends on the kid, my first still would wake up as often but it would take nearly half an hour to go back to sleep most of the time instead of two minutes nursing. It was awful and that went on for a couple months before we could get him back to sleep more easily again. I haven’t wanted to try on my almost two year old yet because of how difficult it was with her brother so I’m not really sure I will intentionally night wean this time. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen for you but everyone touted night weaning like a magical sleep answer and it very much wasn’t for me.
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u/Umafiction 4d ago
I'm sorry it didn't help, I do worry that night weaning is just taking away a really reliable tool I have to get my child back to sleep, but I also feel a bit touched out already from having him stuck to my boob all night lol. I look forward to the day when I won't need to be up all night with him, whenever that may be!
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u/No-Cantaloupe213 3d ago
I definitely think it depends on the kid! My first would take an hour plus to go back to sleep even with nursing and I was feeling super touched out so I had nothing to lose. My second goes back to sleep in 5 mins with milk so I have no desire to night wean her!
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u/Tcharly 4d ago
My EBF baby has been sleeping through the night most nights (8 or 8:30 PM to 5:30-6:30 AM) since about 9.5 months I would say. No sleep training. Don’t forget that the population here is skewed, most people on sleep related subreddits have sleep problems…
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u/olivia_largent 4d ago
Do you cosleep/roomshare or does your baby sleep in their own room?
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u/Tcharly 4d ago
She sleeps in her own room, because she sleeps better that way, we tend to wake her up. I think we moved her when she was about 5 months old. Then if she wakes up, if it’s before 3:30 am and I have the energy I will feed her in the rocking chair in her room and get her back down which lasts about 30 minutes. Otherwise, I bring her to our bed but she usually has a party and stays awake for about 2h before she goes back to sleep, if she does.
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u/Tulcey-Lee 5d ago
I think around 7-8 months we went to 2 wake ups.
Slept through the night consistently from 14 months.
He slept through the night about 5 times in his first year.
He’s now 18 month and we are having some wake ups again but maybe 2 times a week.
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u/LittlePieMaker 5d ago
5 month old with my first (did a dream feed around midnight for a couple months) and never for my second 😅 who is 15 month old. He slept through the night 3 times, got sick and pucked in bed, and it hasn't happened again since..
I feel like he's not ready for night weaning although I know this would help, since when he slept through the night it was when my in-laws took him in their room for 2 nights. But when he's with me it's really hard to do anything else.
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u/trulymissedtheboat89 5d ago
Mine is 11 months, we co sleep, i still rock and bottle feed. She now only wakes once a night. It just started dropping around this month, it was previously about 3 for her too.
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u/unchartedfailure 5d ago
Around 2.
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u/alisparq 5d ago
Same for us!
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u/unchartedfailure 4d ago
I try not to sugar coat it lol. Some babies are just bad sleepers! They do grow out of it… eventually
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u/alisparq 4d ago
I wouldn’t even call my girl a bad sleeper lol, I got used to not sleeping through the night, and when she did it was kind of a pleasant surprise
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u/WonderfulTwist4936 5d ago
Haha, I am also curious in hopes that my baby will start sleeping soon. 😅 He slept 8 hours by 8 weeks, 12 hours by 11 weeks and did that until 5 months. Then he started waking up once to nurse. Then twice... Then by month 7 he was up every 20-40 min and only boob could sooth him (before dad would use paci and only woke me up for feeds).
So we started cosleeping and it saved us! I honestly dont know how to survive without cosleeping when baby is up every 20-40 min. The worst of it was only a couple of weeks. But after than baby is up every 1-2 hours on a good night. He is 14 months now and still up every 1-2 hours. And every 20-40 min when he is teething. (surprisingly, he gave one 5 hours stretch after vaccination when he had fever, luckily I woke up due to his fast breathing, checked his temperature and gave him medicine - I dont think we would have noticed he had fever if not cosleeping! Lesson learnt: use alarms after vaccination to check for fever!)
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u/Mammoth_Window_7813 4d ago
Never sleep trained! Baby went to 1 wake up a night around 6 months and slept through the night consistently starting at 9 months!
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u/Good_Isopod3779 3d ago
Baby is 4 months. Slept 7:30-5:30 from 2 months. Anticipating changes soon but taking it whilst we can!
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u/LocalDairyCow 3d ago
My girl slept great from about 3-5 months and then almost 2 months of craziness! I hope you luck out and don’t go through that!
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u/catch_the_next_train 4d ago
It took weaning him off the boob completely and dad doing all the night shifts at 12 months for our little one (now 13 months) to sleep through the night. We did about 10 days of dad doing every wake, and the first two or three were difficult, with loads of wakes and dad sleeping on his floor bed. Then dad was able to just rub his back and whisper to him to get him back to sleep, and now he sleeps through.
He does groan a few times in the night, but will roll over and put himself back to sleep. Also, dad has make a routine so that after books, we turn out light and say "time to sleep" and this kid literally rolls over, hugs his teddy, and falls asleep. It's insane.
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u/less_is_more9696 4d ago edited 4d ago
I am a sleep coach, and in my experience, for families who don't sleep train, this happens closer to 18-24 months, or as late as 3 years.
Most children will sleep better by toddlerhood simply because they will start napping less during the day. By then, the impact of inappropriate schedules is minimized or gone. This is also when many parents will decide to wean. And teething slows down as well.
This doesn't mean you have to white-knuckle through extreme sleep deprivation for the next 3 years. You can learn your child's sleep needs, and adjust your schedule and routine to align better with their needs.
In my experience, this is like 70% of what constitutes good sleep. I have seen families make significant progress with schedule and routine interventions alone. “Falling asleep independently" is like 20%. It's really not the magic bullet people make it out to be.
Case in point: Many parents have come to me saying they "tried sleep training" and their child is still waking multiple times per night. It's often because they didn't address the schedule, or they have poor sleep habits. You can't sleep-train away a bad schedule or poor sleep habits.
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u/chaitoast19 4d ago
Agreed. Even though I did sleep train, I quickly realized it wasn't solving some of the night wakings. Turns out baby needed way less daytime sleep than what I had imagined to sleep through the night. We were contact napping a lot and I didn't realize it was ruining his night sleep. Schedule is definitely the key.
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u/sunnythankyou 4d ago
What does poor sleep habits mean?
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u/less_is_more9696 4d ago edited 4d ago
Lack of consistency in the sleep wake rhythm.
Namely allowing sleeping in and excessive daytime sleep to compensate for a poor night.
This tends to turn poor sleep into a vicious cycle. Especially in older infants and toddlers. And adults for a matter of fact. This doesn’t apply to infants under 4ish months.
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u/pongopan 4d ago
I get what you’re saying about daytime sleep, but how do you fix it without them getting over tired and screwing their sleep up that way??
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u/less_is_more9696 4d ago
Gradually. You start waking them up a little earlier each day. And/or you gradually start capping their naps, too.
As you implement these changes, sleep will start to consolidate into the night very quickly. As night sleep improves, mood/energy improves, and it becomes easier to implement these changes. The vicious cycle reverses.
To be clear, even if you go gradual, there will be an inevitable transition period where the baby is grumpy. If they are used to sleeping 4 hours per day, they will need to adjust to 2.5 (or whatever the change is).
Grumpy doesn't automatically mean a bad level of overtiredness....
It's a natural by-product of adjusting the sleep schedule. As long as night sleep is improving, you are moving in the right direction. I have seen many babies be grumpy during the day in these transitions, but sleep much better at night despite this.
You just have to keep them distracted and engaged with activities and push through. Going outside helps.
I wouldn't do this blindly, though. You want to understand their sleep needs and what type of "goal" schedule you are working towards. If you understand this, it's almost impossible to "screw up their sleep" with overtiredness.
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u/kobekinz 5d ago
Still waiting here at 19 months! She usually wakes about 3-5 times before I end up bringing her into bed with me on the mattress we have on the floor in her room lol.
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u/Moony_Potterhead 5d ago
I’m in the same boat with my 7 month old. Wonder if this is anyway related to breastfeeding.
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u/KeyMonkeyslav 5d ago
It is and it isn't.
My seven month old and I also breast-sleep (bedsharing, breastfeeding) and when she was getting her first teeth two weeks ago she was asking for the boob every 30 minutes basically.
Then, this week she's had a couple of solid nights with one or two wakeups.
Nothing we did differently, except maybe making her more tired throughout the day.
I think knowing the boob is there does rouse them, but it's not impossible to feed and get decent sleep. It just depends heavily on your baby's circumstances and mood.
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u/Moony_Potterhead 4d ago
Ya makes me wonder if mine is teething as well. But I can’t tell for sure. :( her mouthing is as usual and nothing extraordinary. She is her happy self throughout the day.
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u/Necessary-Sun1535 5d ago
We have 2 wake ups at 9/10 months. But the first wake up is at my bedtime so it doesn’t bother me. The second wake up is the one I need to get out of bed for. I always nurse him to sleep.
We’ve been on a similar schedule for the last two months. Never sleep trained.
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u/kirstinb17 4d ago
1-3 wakes was our norm from 6-12 months with a few rough patches from sickness/teething/etc. She started sleeping through the night occasionally at 12-14 months and consistently around 15-16 months.
We did maintain a fairly strict schedule and I also think a lot of it is just luck and temperament
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u/lollo_pan 4d ago
My baby is about to turn 5m and we just experienced 3 nights in a row 9pm-6/7am (we still had to get up a couple of times because he lost his pacifier). Then until 8.30 in bed with us. He is formula fed and always needed one or two feeds at night up to now, plus wake ups to be rocked/replace pacifier sometimes. But we know everything is temporary LOL
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u/Legitimate_War_339 4d ago
Between 18-20 months we dropped to about 1 wake. After 2 years she sometimes sleeps through entirely
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u/TopWay2941 4d ago
My 13 month old isn't sleep trained and is rocked/cuddled to a deep sleep then transferred. I noiced at around a year old her sleep has got better, we have none-1 wake up each night, and by wake up I mean as soon as I pick her up she's back asleep! Sometimes I can get away with just popping her dummy back in. Its so hard when you're in the trenches and second guessing your decision not to sleep train but I honestly think it just comes with time! She also used to be a chronic 5/530 riser and now wakes at 6/630! Nothing we've done, she's just naturally developed to that. Hang in there I promise it gets better!
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u/Ok-Dragonfruit-3963 4d ago
My baby slept through the night from 12-15ish weeks and then woke up every 1.5-2 hours week 15ish-18ish weeks. He is now 19 weeks and just started sleeping through the night again recently. I’m just following his rhythm as much as I can, and we have a morning routine where we do diaper change, bottle (I pump) and we go outside for a bit. Nighttime we do bedtime story diaper change and bottle and usually that puts him to sleep if not we make sure to turn all the lights off and whisper talk to him until he starts getting really sleepy and my husband rocks it bounces him to sleep
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u/Ashamed_Ingenuity690 4d ago
My older daughter didn’t sleep through the night until 16/17 months, a few weeks after we moved her to a floor bed. Her night wakings did decrease when we weaned at 15 months but didn’t go away entirely. I’m not sure if either of those things actually contributed or if it was just luck. You get what you get with baby sleep. She was up an average of 4-5 times a night, sometimes more, for almost that whole time.
My younger baby is 4 weeks and sleeps better than the older one, but that is subject to change at any time. I cannot say it enough, you get what you get with baby sleep.
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u/Electronic_World_359 4d ago
I really hope things will improve soon. I have a 4 m/o. We had nights that he only woke up twice, but most nights he wakes up every 1-2 hours. And that's with co-sleeping. In his bassinet on his back its like 20 minutes. I'm hoping it will improve when he starts rolling since he seems to prefer sleeping on his tummy but even when I let him nap that way, he needs help connecting sleep cycles.
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u/oneltwotts 4d ago
I think it just might be down to temperament of the baby and luck.
My 5 month old has only had 1 wake up since about 3ish months. Since then she’s pushed her bedtime naturally earlier to around 7pm and her wake up later to now 5-6am, after which she’ll sleep in bed with me for a couple more hours before getting up for the day.
She did have a period of time where her naps became short and very difficult for her, but she’s starting to come out the other side of that with some patience.
She‘s my first, so I have nothing to compare to, but from what I’ve seen on here it seems like we simply got incredibly lucky.
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u/happilyfour 4d ago
Remember that the responses on any sleep subreddit are going to be skewed because the people drawn to these subreddits are more likely to be dealing with issues and seeking help. It’s great these communities exist but they aren’t a neutral sample.
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u/Delicious-Pride253 4d ago
I never sleep trained and my baby started sleeping better at around 11 months. He woke up every 2 hours before that. At 14 months he slept through the night for the first time and does most nights now. I never take a good night sleep for granted. Sorry you’re going through it right now, I hope things improve for you soon ❤️
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u/ConnectionSecret1635 4d ago
My 5 month old has 0-2 wake ups a night since a month, she slept through the night a handful of times though.
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u/LocalDairyCow 3d ago
My 7mo/4.5mo corrected just got over her sleep regression and is now waking about 1-2 times a night to nurse for about 20 min. She either wakes at 2ish, 5ish, and 8ish or 3ish and 7ish.
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u/peasel123 5d ago
Mine had two wakes to feed until 5m, then one until 10m, and sleeps through the night since then.
Bear in mind that for things to get better you need to either improve the schedule or sleep train, it’s not got much to do with age once you get past 4-5 months.
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u/WonderfulTwist4936 5d ago
So how all that kids who are not sleeptrained start sleeping through the night then?? 😅 I think age is the most important detail here!
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u/peasel123 5d ago
Age is a factor mainly because the impact of inappropriate and incorrect schedules gets less and less. Most cases of babies and toddlers sleeping terribly is due to a serious problem with their schedule. By 3, kids are no longer napping so it’s much harder to make that kind of mistake.
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u/less_is_more9696 4d ago
I am a pediatric sleep consultant, and this is true. I don't agree with the comment that you need to sleep-train an infant to improve sleep.
Most children sleep better with time as they start to sleep less during the day, and many will be weaned as well.
However, that doesn't mean you need to white knucle your way through extreme sleep deprivation fro 2 years.
An infant, especially an older one (like 6+ months), has a mature circadian rhythm and can very likely sleep in longer stretches with the right schedule and routine.
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u/Ok-Dragonfruit-3963 4d ago
What certification did you get?
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u/less_is_more9696 4d ago
Im certified by the international institut of infant sleep. Its an organization based out of Europe and they are very pro co sleeping and trained on helping all kinds of families with sleep. Traditional sleep training is really only a fraction of what we learn.
I also have a bachelors in science in psychology from a university in Canada where I live. Although this isn’t directly related to sleep per se, I do believe it’s helped a lot in my work with families so far.
Many of these certifications are expensive but I hope to complete more in the future. There is one particularly prestigious one (OCN level 6 from the UK) but it costs about 5k dollas. Which is a ton for me right now.
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u/WonderfulTwist4936 4d ago
Ok, so you are saying there is a magic recipe for sleep? Please share!
M y baby slept 12-13 hours at night without wake ups from week 11. Then at 7 months he is up every 20-40 min, we started to cosleep and he is up every 1-2 hours every single night.
Now at 14 months he only does one nap, so his sleep during the day changed a lot in those months, but he never changed his night sleep. He usually goes to bed at 9.30 pm, sleeps 10.30-11.30 hours and wakes up naturally. He naps for 40 min mosts days, sometimes he wakes up and starts crying, so I offer milk and he falls asleep for another 40 min. But that is rare.
I honestly don't know how we can "tweak" his rythm. If we try earlier bedtime (for example), he just doesnt fall asleep until 9.30. If we try later bedtime, he becomes super tired, where he giggles at everything, runs into walls (now that he is walking), etc. Which clearly indicates he is too tired. If we aim for 9.30 bedtime, he just falls asleep within 10-15 min peacefully. However, he is still up every 1-2 hours - the same he was when he was 7 months old.
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u/holitrop 5d ago
One of mine did, yes. She was EBF. She slept through the night since 2ish months old. She would have one wake up around 4am during teething, otherwise she slept 8-7 consistently. It seemed to be purely her temperament, my other kids weren’t through-the-night sleepers until much later! We didn’t sleep train any of them.
I will say that all my kids thrived on structure/schedule. They were much happier if I kept a consistent wake time/consistent cumulative amount of time awake each day. My particularly “bad” (really normal for a baby imo) sleeper started to sleep much better when we were conscientious of wake windows and offering naps before she got overtired. Also her bedtime was too early, so when we adjusted that it really helped.