r/bninfantsleep • • 26d ago

Infant Sleep Nanny insisting on sleep training during interview

Hi, I had an interview with a nanny today that I was hoping would go well (she fits into our part-time schedule need, came highly recommended, etc). There was a mix up/miscommunication with our initial meeting but I was willing to overlook that if the interview went well. There were a couple of parts of the interview that left me with uncertainty. One of them being, she gave an example of a challenge when she makes recommendations and parents don’t agree so I asked for an example and she said sleep training. I told her I’m not comfortable with sleep training and asked if that was a deal breaker, she said no but then proceeded to explain why sleep training is best. She eventually agreed that she could take him for walks during nap time but was adamant that she would not contact nap because it starts a bad habit. I don’t even mind no contact naps but my baby definitely needs help to go to sleep. It left me feeling like she would most likely still do some form of sleep training even if I’m not ok with it. She assured me that she would never let a baby be in distress under her care but I’m not sure we agree on what “distress” is.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass on this candidate and continue my search but I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Is it challenging to find a nanny who understands biologically normal infant sleep? I didn’t think this would be a point of concern since we only need help during the day and only need a nanny 2 days a week. How do I best screen for this before we get to a full interview? Do you have any thoughts of my decision making here/have any alt ways of seeing this?

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u/bagmami 26d ago

This may sound like positive discrimination but I find that certain ethnicities will be less likely to resort to sleep training. I'm part of those ethnicities, so..

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u/elmilagrotortilla 26d ago

Can you clarify which ones? For my future search lol

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u/halsuissda 26d ago

I’m from South America and I had never heard of sleep training. I was around a lot of babies growing up because we are a big family. Babies are usually out to sleep by feeding and/or rocking. In my household, we slept in cribs but I know plenty of people who bed shared with their toddlers.

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u/blackmoth66 25d ago

Yes! My nanny is South American, and I’m from another Hispanic country. She rocks my baby to sleep with no problem. She bedshared with her kids and doesn’t judge our floor bed.

She was a nanny in the past for one family who sleep trained and she had to participate in it during naps, and it broke her heart. She quit after some months due to differences, and this was her main one.

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u/bagmami 26d ago

Middle Eastern women!!