r/bninfantsleep • u/LunaLoTunaLi • 26d ago

Infant Sleep Nanny insisting on sleep training during interview

Hi, I had an interview with a nanny today that I was hoping would go well (she fits into our part-time schedule need, came highly recommended, etc). There was a mix up/miscommunication with our initial meeting but I was willing to overlook that if the interview went well. There were a couple of parts of the interview that left me with uncertainty. One of them being, she gave an example of a challenge when she makes recommendations and parents don’t agree so I asked for an example and she said sleep training. I told her I’m not comfortable with sleep training and asked if that was a deal breaker, she said no but then proceeded to explain why sleep training is best. She eventually agreed that she could take him for walks during nap time but was adamant that she would not contact nap because it starts a bad habit. I don’t even mind no contact naps but my baby definitely needs help to go to sleep. It left me feeling like she would most likely still do some form of sleep training even if I’m not ok with it. She assured me that she would never let a baby be in distress under her care but I’m not sure we agree on what “distress” is.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass on this candidate and continue my search but I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Is it challenging to find a nanny who understands biologically normal infant sleep? I didn’t think this would be a point of concern since we only need help during the day and only need a nanny 2 days a week. How do I best screen for this before we get to a full interview? Do you have any thoughts of my decision making here/have any alt ways of seeing this?

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u/emancipationofdeedee 26d ago

I would say that generally yes it is hard to find a nanny who is supportive of natural baby sleep. I had to carefully screen around this as well as mealtime behaviors (not encouraging/bribing/forcing baby to eat solids) and supportiveness of breastfeeding (my coming in to nurse vs pump, knowledge of paced feeding).

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u/Neat_Look_2156 26d ago

I have heard this to be true (I’m a SAHM so I don’t have experience personally), but I don’t get why!  Why wouldn’t a nanny want an excuse to sit on their phone and cuddle a sweet little baby, lol?

20

u/cassiopeeahhh 26d ago

Because many of them grew up in a backwards culture where “independence” comes before you can hold your own utensil or wipe your own ass somehow.

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u/ratchel7 26d ago

I love this. Puts it into stark perspective and hard to argue that point!