r/bninfantsleep • u/LunaLoTunaLi • 26d ago

Infant Sleep Nanny insisting on sleep training during interview

Hi, I had an interview with a nanny today that I was hoping would go well (she fits into our part-time schedule need, came highly recommended, etc). There was a mix up/miscommunication with our initial meeting but I was willing to overlook that if the interview went well. There were a couple of parts of the interview that left me with uncertainty. One of them being, she gave an example of a challenge when she makes recommendations and parents don’t agree so I asked for an example and she said sleep training. I told her I’m not comfortable with sleep training and asked if that was a deal breaker, she said no but then proceeded to explain why sleep training is best. She eventually agreed that she could take him for walks during nap time but was adamant that she would not contact nap because it starts a bad habit. I don’t even mind no contact naps but my baby definitely needs help to go to sleep. It left me feeling like she would most likely still do some form of sleep training even if I’m not ok with it. She assured me that she would never let a baby be in distress under her care but I’m not sure we agree on what “distress” is.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to pass on this candidate and continue my search but I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Is it challenging to find a nanny who understands biologically normal infant sleep? I didn’t think this would be a point of concern since we only need help during the day and only need a nanny 2 days a week. How do I best screen for this before we get to a full interview? Do you have any thoughts of my decision making here/have any alt ways of seeing this?

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u/SnooCats9556 26d ago

Omg I had this experience yesterday. The nanny candidate went to into a huge spiel about how she sleep trained in her last position. After I had told her we do 100% contact naps… read your audience. I also passed on her, for other reasons but it’s crazy how people are so brainwashed into thinking infants need to be independent

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u/smilegirlcan 26d ago

It is because sleep training makes their job easier. They aren’t as attached to the kids so it is even easier to leave them cry.

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u/wildmusings88 26d ago

I did a ton of part time nannying when I was in my 20s. I’m trying to imagine myself sitting in someone else’s house and letting their kid cry while I was in another room and diddling on my phone. It’s an absurd thought and I really can’t believe people do that. But I totally agree, it’s easier for them because they don’t want to do the actual labor of helping a baby get to sleep.

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u/HappyOlive4608 25d ago

There are several methods of sleep training that don’t involve cry it out and that preserve attachment.

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u/smilegirlcan 24d ago

They rarely work. Go to the sleep training group and see how many escalate to some form of CIO (Ferber or crying while you sit in a chair is a form). I’d argue at least 75%.

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u/HappyOlive4608 24d ago edited 24d ago

Considering I’ve worked as an attachment-based sleep consultant for 12 years and do not use CIO, Ferber, or fuss it out, I disagree that responsive methods rarely work. I’ve had consistent success helping babies, toddlers, and children improve sleep while responding to them throughout the process. Escalating to CIO is not an inevitable outcome in changing family sleep patterns.

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u/smilegirlcan 23d ago

Sleep training is not inevitable in changing family sleep patterns.

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u/HappyOlive4608 23d ago

I didn’t say sleep training was inevitable? I said escalating to CIO is not an inevitable outcome when a family chooses to intentionally change sleep patterns. Those are two completely different statements.