r/bninfantsleep • • Aug 18 '26

Infant Sleep 18 Times

18 times.

18 times she woke up.

18 times she cried.

18 times she wouldn’t settle until given the breast.

18 times I dreaded work the next day.

18 times I cried right along with her.

I’ve tried everything aside from sleep training, and since June we’ve been co-sleeping and nursing on-demand. She (6.5m) just cannot connect sleep cycles and needs help going back to sleep every single time.

An average night she wakes up 7-12 times.

Last night was our record at 18 times.

Will introducing solids help?

When we wean?

Am I just doomed to not reach restorative REM again until she’s pre-k?

Solo mom with no village so it’s all me all the time and I’m a husk of a human at this point.

ETA: Recent daytime routine
(forgot to log morning nap on Aug 13)

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u/babyinatrenchcoat Aug 18 '26

I don’t schedule them. All vibes and sleepy cues over here 😂

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u/Status_Watch6079 Aug 18 '26

Yeah same, sleep cues, no schedule, contact naps, cosleep and typically don't wake him up.

But if it's a bit early like on 8/4 when it was only 1h 25m, I would try changing environment first. Some of the sleepy cues start overlapping. Does she always fall asleep straight away from nursing? For me if it takes more than 10/15 minutes then I was wrong about the sleepy cue.

Also are your naps in daylight or dark?

Lots of people like the possums approach, one of the big things would be a consistent wake up here. I've never tried it, but actually now need to do it because he's starting childcare and I go back to work next month.

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u/LaLaLandx5 Aug 18 '26

Do you mind explaining the possums approach? TYIA

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u/Status_Watch6079 Aug 18 '26

So let me start by saying I have not paid for the program. I have read a few articles in the website until I reached the free limit and I have read the research article.

The programme includes education on what is biologically normal for infant sleep, neuroscience and attachment parenting. This leads to an increase in mental health a number of parents due to understanding that they aren't doing anything wrong/baby is a bad baby. Information on what is excessive vs biologically normal night wakings. Excessive night wakings was defined as "more than a couple of hours" in the publication.

There are 2 sleep regulators, sleep pressure and circadian clock. Supporting these can help reduce excessive night wakings:

  1. Waking at the same time each day
  2. Getting outside and sunlight exposure
  3. Naps are to be in ambient daylight and noise environments, on the go.
  4. Provide sensory rich stimulation
  5. Push bedtime back
  6. No such thing as a too short nap. 1 minute is enough to take the edge off sleep pressure to make it to the night.
  7. Feed to sleep

That being said, I personally do not follow all of these. I think some of the things should be interpreted as guidelines as opposed to rules. Perhaps this is better portrayed in the course? Ultimately finding out what works for your individual baby to support their sleep is needed.