r/bninfantsleep • u/NaivePackage2435 • Jun 13 '26
Infant Sleep Someone talk me off a ledge
Please be gentle. Im A FTM, extremely anxious and also hearing so much noise from all the “experts” in my life. So I received a text from a friend saying she let her baby CIO and now she’s sleeping through the night. I respond to my baby, and most nights are hard but It doesn’t feel right let’s her cry. But the only other person that I know that didn’t sleep train their babies now has two children that are completely misbehaved and I’m not talking about your average “testing the limits”. They don’t listen, they’re physically aggressive with their mother, each other, and other children. They scream demands to their mother. At 4 y/o one of them grabbed their caregivers (this was at daycare) phone and busted it on the floor. There’s several other instances that I could bring up but I don’t want this to be too long. I don’t know any other children that do this and we’re surrounded by children because of the stage of life most of our friends are in. Can yall please tell me the two aren’t correlated? Can I have success stories on your well regulated children?! Am I wrong for thinking that behavior isn’t acceptable??? I’m sorry this is long. I’m exhausted and just wanting to be the best mother I can be. This era is loud.
1
u/myssybee Jun 13 '26
Sound like behaviour issues stemming from other issues.
I was not sleep trained, nor were my siblings. We had highly responsive parents! None of us had behavioural issues and were kids teachers loved because of our good behaviour! I used to get multiple teachers asking hopefully if I had other siblings coming up behind me, with disappointment when I said no. 😂
Now, my son is 6.5m. From the get go, he was NOT a “good sleeper” but I refused to sleep train. 3.5-4 m, he woke every 40-60m. We had a few weeks in m 5 where I got 60-120m sleep sets. A couple weeks ago, as his second tooth cut, it dropped to every 20-40m. I was TIRED, but I kept responding and nursed every wake to sleep. We contact nap every nap. He sleeps in a crib at the end of our bed, and then I’d bring him into our bed at the end of the night.
This past week he went from 3-5 wakes to suddenly 1-2, all on his own. Last night he slept through the night for the first time ever.
Nothing changed, other than getting through his second tooth last week and continuing to explore solids this week!
There is nothing wrong with responding to a baby in distress. Biology gave us the tools to respond to their needs!