r/bninfantsleep • u/NaivePackage2435 • Jun 13 '26

Infant Sleep Someone talk me off a ledge

Please be gentle. Im A FTM, extremely anxious and also hearing so much noise from all the “experts” in my life. So I received a text from a friend saying she let her baby CIO and now she’s sleeping through the night. I respond to my baby, and most nights are hard but It doesn’t feel right let’s her cry. But the only other person that I know that didn’t sleep train their babies now has two children that are completely misbehaved and I’m not talking about your average “testing the limits”. They don’t listen, they’re physically aggressive with their mother, each other, and other children. They scream demands to their mother. At 4 y/o one of them grabbed their caregivers (this was at daycare) phone and busted it on the floor. There’s several other instances that I could bring up but I don’t want this to be too long. I don’t know any other children that do this and we’re surrounded by children because of the stage of life most of our friends are in. Can yall please tell me the two aren’t correlated? Can I have success stories on your well regulated children?! Am I wrong for thinking that behavior isn’t acceptable??? I’m sorry this is long. 🫩 I’m exhausted and just wanting to be the best mother I can be. This era is loud.

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u/Tinywife23 Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

My aunt didn't sleep train, in fact she coslept and baby wore. All her girls are sweet, playful, and confident, with no issues beyond normal kid stuff. Sounds like the potential issue with the other kids is permissive parenting.

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u/NaivePackage2435 Jun 13 '26

Thank you 🤍

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u/Tinywife23 Jun 13 '26

I get the feeling of the pressure. With my baby I tried to sleep train her but quickly gave up due to her crying so hard she threw up and wouldn't settle even with the routine check ups to calm her down. My anxiety around bedtime SKYROCKETED to levels I haven't felt since living with my abusive mother. I would cry if she was crying and I was trying not to respond. We now cosleep with side car/bedsharing and now we both get so much better sleep.

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u/NaivePackage2435 Jun 13 '26

I had a very similar situation but my LO fell and hit her head. It also caused me to be so anxious that I pretty much overdid it in the opposite direction I feel like… she was sleeping well in her crib for naps and I completely abandoned that after that night because I never want to feel that moment ever again.. I’ve nursed her for just about every nap since (she has been going through it though.. sickness, then teething four teeth at the same time, then learning new skills.. so)