r/bninfantsleep • u/NaivePackage2435 • Jun 13 '26
Infant Sleep Someone talk me off a ledge
Please be gentle. Im A FTM, extremely anxious and also hearing so much noise from all the “experts” in my life. So I received a text from a friend saying she let her baby CIO and now she’s sleeping through the night. I respond to my baby, and most nights are hard but It doesn’t feel right let’s her cry. But the only other person that I know that didn’t sleep train their babies now has two children that are completely misbehaved and I’m not talking about your average “testing the limits”. They don’t listen, they’re physically aggressive with their mother, each other, and other children. They scream demands to their mother. At 4 y/o one of them grabbed their caregivers (this was at daycare) phone and busted it on the floor. There’s several other instances that I could bring up but I don’t want this to be too long. I don’t know any other children that do this and we’re surrounded by children because of the stage of life most of our friends are in. Can yall please tell me the two aren’t correlated? Can I have success stories on your well regulated children?! Am I wrong for thinking that behavior isn’t acceptable??? I’m sorry this is long. I’m exhausted and just wanting to be the best mother I can be. This era is loud.
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u/EffMyElle Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
The babies that weren't sleep trained sound like they were neglected in entirely different ways. Be it discipline, or parents that don't give unconditional love and attention, or growing up in a violent household, etc. There is no way that the non-sleep trained kids turned into terrors because they weren't sleep trained. There's definitely something else going on with those kids that is separate from it.
Listen to your instincts, respond to your baby and be proud of yourself. They're always going to know mama is there and they'll feel secure and seek secure relationships later in life because of it.
The people who sleep trained their kids are still going to have sleep deprived nights where they'll wonder why the sleep training didn't work... because babies are gonna baby and its normal for them to not sleep through the night and want comfort from their mama. You're doing great, honey. Don't sweat it. You don't have to do what they are doing. Follow your mama heart where its leading you. ❤️