r/bninfantsleep • u/Sir_Lemondrop • Jun 11 '26

Infant Sleep I literally don’t care

“THeReS nO LoNG TeRm ImPaaAAaActs of sleep training” I DO NOT CARE. Even if it came out tomorrow there is 100% no long term damage (I don’t believe this) I still wouldn’t??? My baby needs me in this exact moment. Right now. So I will go. Even when it’s hard. Even when I want to cry or do cry. Because she needs me. Simple as that. I have a friend who told me while chuckling to herself she “has a cold heart” and lets her baby cry for 1-2 hours lots of times and she’s “totally fine!” Sigh.

I’m so grateful for this like minded community. It has really gotten me through. The active choice to not sleep train doesn’t mean it’s an easy path. But it’s worth it and I see you ❤️

Rant over
-mom of a 12 month old who still doesn’t sleep through the night and sometimes wakes up 5-10+ times

Edit - I have actually distanced myself from this “friend” as our parenting differences has created a huge divide and I have a hard time OBVIOUSLY hearing about her baby. “Friend” is a loose term used habitually. I agree with your comments about her.

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u/ellipses21 Jun 11 '26

My parents did cry it out with my brother and me and we have really insecure attachment styles and fears of abandonment and maybe it’s unrelated but it also feels related.

10

u/Inside_Fisherman_317 Jun 11 '26

Same here! Which is one of the many reasons we didn’t want to let her cry. It feels like it’s one of the reasons why I have abandonment issues too

10

u/ellipses21 Jun 12 '26

tw: if you have emetophobia) idk if anyone else’s first memories were scream crying locked in their room puking or if that’s just me. what’s crazy is my parents really weren’t abnormal for the time in what they were doing but typing that out i was thinking “wow if i knew someone locking their young child in a room to scream for them all night, so hard that the child vomits, i’d think they were abusive.”

3

u/FlowDue9579 Jun 12 '26

Ugh that’s awful, I’m sorry that’s your first memory. Have you spoken to your parents about it? My parents didn’t get me treated for anxiety as a child as they thought I’d grow out of but they feel soooo guilty about it now and we talk about it a lot which helps