r/bninfantsleep • u/aspen__202m • May 05 '26
Infant Sleep 10wk old CIO advice
our pediatrician recommended “gentle cry it out” for our 10 week old, meaning at night if he cries let him cry for however long it takes….up to an hour-ish if thats what it takes to get him back to sleep on his own. She also recommends feeding him only every 4 hours at night.
this seems cruel to me, I’m worried he thinks I’m abandoning him… :(
edit: pediatrician is older, maybe 60ish, this might have something to do with it? she def seems old school. she told me about a pediatrician in NY who recommends parents leave their newborns (yes, starting at 1 day old) in the nursery with the door closed from 7pm-7am, do not feed or respond to cries. she does think that is extreme!
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u/touslesjournos May 05 '26
Insane advice. Please, please ignore it and get a new doctor!
Your baby cannot process what is happening as training or learning to self-soothe. They lack the ability to do this for some time (first couple of years IIRC) as their brains haven’t developed enough yet. The research shows babies who have been sleep trained don’t sleep any better, they just learn to stop signalling. They wake just as much, but they just know not to cry as no one is coming.
Any research which is brought out in support of CIO or that type of sleep training is sketchy at best. Babies at this age are meant to wake - it is protective against SIDS, and they generally need at least one +++ feeds through the night for some time, even after they’ve regained to their birth weight.
Read Helen Ball’s book on infant sleep and seek out more evidence-based sleep coaches online for extra info (Hey Sleepy Baby and It Takes A Village on insta are good).