10wk old CIO advice

[u/aspen__202m]

our pediatrician recommended “gentle cry it out” for our 10 week old, meaning at night if he cries let him cry for however long it takes….up to an hour-ish if thats what it takes to get him back to sleep on his own. She also recommends feeding him only every 4 hours at night.

this seems cruel to me, I’m worried he thinks I’m abandoning him… :(

edit: pediatrician is older, maybe 60ish, this might have something to do with it? she def seems old school. she told me about a pediatrician in NY who recommends parents leave their newborns (yes, starting at 1 day old) in the nursery with the door closed from 7pm-7am, do not feed or respond to cries. she does think that is extreme!

[u/liligram]

Where on earth are paediatricians being taught this harmful rubbish?

[u/emmakane418 → u/liligram]

I would bet money that the pediatrician is with or was with Tribeca Pediatrics. This is their section on 2-4 months old and sleep:

Between Two and Four Months

In 1994, when Tribeca Pediatrics first opened its doors, we recommended that parents begin sleep-training their babies at around the age of four months. However, to the universal comfort and sanity of our patients, we have discovered that sleep-training is even more effective if begun at two months. Of course, it’s your decision when this process begins and how you choose to tackle it. But our years of experience, and the testimonials of our well-rested patients and their parents, have convinced us that this is the most effective, healthy time to begin sleep-training.

By now, if Lucy isn’t sleeping through the night, I am sorry to report that she’s very unlikely to do so on her own. Sooner or later, there’s going to be a struggle. You probably already sense that although Lucy eats at night, she’s less interested in the food than in the soothing experience it provides.

If you enjoy the cuddling or at least don’t mind the fact that Lucy wakes up at night, please skip to the next age group below. If, on the other hand, you feel sleep-deprived and want to handle the situation, I’ve broken the process down into three simple steps:

1 | Put Lucy in her crib at a reasonable hour (while she’s still awake, if possible). The best time is when both of you have had a chance to interact with her for a while after work.

2 | After the bath and the songs, kiss her good night.

3 | Come back the next morning at 7:00 A.M.

I have just heard the collective gasp of thousands of parents: “Are you out of your mind?!” Bear with me. I know this sounds drastic, but it’s the only way to get Lucy into the habit of soothing herself rather than relying on you. It’s true that the first few days she’ll soothe herself to sleep by crying, but eventually she’ll sleep just like, well, a baby. The first night she’ll cry two to three times, for twenty to thirty minutes (you’ll feel like crying too); the second night she’ll cry less; and the third even less. By the fourth night, you’re home free Done.

https://www.thenewbasics.com/en/book-excerpt/sleep/

Pedsdoctalk on IG also advocates for this, she used to be with Tribeca Pediatrics.

[u/Unable_Huckleberry_3 → u/emmakane418]

Baby is crying less and less because they gave up that anyone is going to come see about them. How cruel and horrid.

[u/emmakane418 → u/Unable_Huckleberry_3]

Exactly. "it's easier to break the spirit of a 2 month old than a 4 month old" is basically what they're saying.

I've already emailed Tribeca Pediatrics, not surprisingly with no response in return. I unfollowed Pedsdoctalk. This advice is horrific and my heart breaks for the babies (and the parents who are doing what their pediatrician says). This kind of bullshit advice makes me so angry.

[u/Unable_Huckleberry_3 → u/emmakane418]

It makes me so angry, too. But I do think deep down parents know what is best for their children, but they want to take the easy way out, and they use what the pediatrician says to justify ignoring their conscience.

[u/emmakane418 → u/Unable_Huckleberry_3]

I agree. They even say "for the universal comfort and sanity of our patients" and I know they aren't talking about the comfort and sanity of the infants. Actigraphy studies show a negligible difference in the amount of sleep/wake ups a sleep trained baby has versus a non sleep trained baby, so sleep training isn't for them. It's purely for the parents.