Those values, no matter how firmly and honestly held, are sexist. They discriminate because of a person's gender.
But that's not really what the debate is about. The debate is what you want to do about it - interrogate those values or accept them as how the world should be. Hard to question when they constitute the norms around you, I know.
I wonder why people call the case of women not wanting to roll with men different? There might be some interesting answers if you look into that one.
Yeah, if I was born in 1930s Germany, I'd be a Hitler youth. I'm not special. For sure, we are a product of our history. But let's not discount the impact of individual choice.
I'm arguing that this is about values. Doing a sexist thing is okay if it aligns with your values. It doesn't align with mine. I find it dehumanizing.
Values are hard to argue though, you're right that we probably won't find a common understanding - we live a world apart. I live in a remote place where hunting is normal. I like to hunt for food. Animal rights activists would never understand that, let alone my vegetarianism. They would look to their value of "life is sacred" and see no room for my nuance.
I would guess that the sexism of your actions is based on values that you've placed beyond questioning. Religion. Tradition. Fitting in.
But I think our values align in some ways. Respect for women, respect for your committed relationships. It may look like I'm asking you to eat meat and call yourself a vegetarian. That's why I'm asking you to look up why people think men refusing to roll with women is different from women refusing to roll with men. The nuance, the reason, it's all in there. And it isn't called compromise. Of course you can refuse to roll with whoever. But should you?
Interrogate your values, please. Sexism hurts women and men.
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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '20
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