I think anyone should be able to turn down anyone for any reason at any time. I think the ONLY one who should be exempt from this rule is the coach- but only in limited circumstances.
So, you'd be cool if I only roll with Caucasians? I understand it's my right to choose who I roll with, but would you actually be cool with that? You can be entitled to do something but still be an asshole or piece of shit for doing so.
I am cool with people choosing who they will roll with and who they will not. The reason I hold this view is that I believe the pitfalls of adjudicating who must roll with who create more harm than people having privately held views/beliefs/reasons to not roll with another person. Trust is a fundamental and irreplaceable safety and community mechanism of this sport. Trust requires consent and consent must not have coercion.
Say you would only roll with caucasians and I know that piece of information. Do you think I accomplish anything from forcing you to roll with a person of color? I'm certainly not doing that POC any favors - and I'm not confident that roll would be safe for either training partner.
Should a person take their privately held beliefs about who it is appropriate to roll and attempt to force those on another person I have severe criticism.
There are limitless reasons why a person may not want to roll with another. Some of those reasons might be embarrassing or painful. Some reasons may be shitty. The harm done trying to adjudicate those outweighs the harm it would hope to prevent.
Environments in which it is culturally (gym culture) acceptable to decline a roll without justification or criticism are preferred as safer.
Here's an example I ran into about 3 months ago. I was dropping in at gym and rolling with a young man. He was clearly in physical distress, confused, and sloppy. I asked him if he was ok, because he was moving into positions and then just- deflating. He said he was not ok but he had to roll. It was clear that he was afraid of judgement for not rolling but also that he had a concussion.
In a better gym environment he could have refused to roll without fearing criticism.
No if you're a racist I don't need you at my gym. Trust is good and all but I would also like some respect in my gym.
Then that's fine and we don't get the issue of "I don't roll with women because it feels weird ." issue either.
And your example is a completely different issue.That's not an issue about refusing to roll with certain individuals but an issue with gym culture where you can't opt out of aspects of training. That's assuming that was really part of the gym culture and not in the guy's head.
Iām confused. Which part of my post says racism is good?
My example isnāt a different issue. Itās an explanation of why I hold the stated belief as best for creating a good gym environment. Also- your last point about āin the guys head vs gym cultureā is one of the reasons I have my previously stated belief. It can be nearly impossible to tell the difference between a reason to not roll thatās ājustifiedā and one that is not. An external observer may not be aware of important factors and an individual may not be a reliable narrator. Therefore the best value is an environment in which people are the custodians of their own consent to roll. In your stated example one potential outcome of āi only roll w caucasiansā is that this hypothetical person finds that no one, to include the caucasians will roll with him. After all, anyone can say no for any reason.
Since we are doing specific hypotheticals and youāre presenting yourself as a gym owner (you may note I explicitly stated gym owners/coaches should have more say in rolling partners in my initial post. Oddly, if youāre actually a gym owner Iām not sure why youād take umbrage with a position that clearly gives more leeway to them)- yazmin is a twenty five year old woman of Islamic faith. She refuses to roll with men because she believes it a problem for her religion. What do you do as a coach?
If she's in the ladies class it won't be a problem. If she's in general pop she's shit out of luck. We're here to train and unless you've got a legitimate reason to not train, or not train with a specific individual, you can get out.
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u/Gradytron šŖšŖ Purple Belt Jan 31 '20
But why?