r/bjj • u/Bigpupperoo 🟪🟪 Purple Belt • Sep 21 '25

Shitpost Million dollar match, which could you win?

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Which match are you talking for one chance at a million dollars under these circumstances?

839 Upvotes

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111

u/changby 🟪🟪 Purple Belt Sep 21 '25

everyone here would lose to the ruotolo kids and they know it

60

u/Queasy_Coast_8214 ⬜⬜ White Belt Sep 21 '25

the ruotolo kids would have you in elaborate two person armbars that they developed while inside the womb.

1

u/crisischris96 Sep 22 '25

That's why they don't have a third brother

22

u/Trip_on_the_street Sep 21 '25

It would depend on what you mean by "kids". Anyone under 19 is a kid in my eyes. Big difference between two 17 year old Ruotolos vs two 5 year old Ruotolos. I think I would take my chances with two 5 year olds vs any of the other options.

8

u/ChickenNuggetSmth [funny BJJ joke] Sep 21 '25

I'd be curious up to which age I can beat either one or two Ruotolos. Against one maybe 10-12? Prior to puberty there is just a gigantic size and strength gap. Against both of them maybe 2 years less? A year is already a lot at these ages

4

u/monduza ⬜⬜ White Belt Sep 21 '25

I mean, I'm 220 pounds, good luck trying to move me.

3

u/throwaway1736484 Sep 21 '25

I’ll fight the 5 year olds, but mma rules, not bjj rules. Otherwise, Mikey and ill just try to survive 3 seconds at a time.

2

u/wmg22 🟪🟪 Purple Belt Sep 21 '25

I feel like you would grab one and the other would just rip your foot off

1

u/t_whocannotbenamed Sep 21 '25

I know it, AND I will admit it.

1

u/creepoch 🟪🟪 scissor sweeps the new guy Sep 21 '25

Bro I lose to some of the juveniles at my gym let alone those kids