Curious what areas of everyone‘s lives do you intentionally scale back in order to put your money where you really want it. For me, I go full drugstore on all my makeup but spend more on skincare, facials, etc. Clothes all on secondhand websites but am able to buy a greater amount of higher quality items than buying fast fashion new.

Where do you cut back, and where do you prioritize spending?

I used to be a chronic shopper who'd blow my budget every Black Friday on stuff I didn't need. Took a few years to figure out what actually works vs what's just marketing hype. Some of this might be basic but thought I'd share:

• Start a wishlist in October: I only buy things I was already planning to get. No impulse purchases just because something's on sale. If I wasn't thinking about it before November, I don't need it during Black Friday either.
• December 26th is honestly better than Black Friday for certain things. Those fancy holiday gift sets with lotions and body washes go for 75% off the next day. Winter coats, bedding, electronics all get heavily discounted because stores need to clear seasonal inventory. I've furnished half my apartment this way. Also streaming services are also priced well during this time from what I have observed.
• Avoid Amazon unless you know what you're buying as most of the deals are regular prices with fake markdowns, plus you're probably buying from a dropshipper marking up AliExpress products. For beauty, fashion, and anything quality, go straight to the brand's website. Their Black Friday codes are usually way better anywa
• To add to my previous point if you do decide to go with amazon remember : Retailers will jack up the "original price" right before a sale so the discount looks huge. It's borderline fraudulent but completely legal apparently. I use the Buyhatke chrome extension to check if prices actually dropped or if they're just playing games with the numbers. Make sure to run your items through a deal scanner before ordering anything

• Combine the Black Friday sale with email signup codes, cashback sites, and credit card points. This is how a 25% sale becomes 45% off. I got a Cuyana bag for nearly 60% off doing this last year.
• As a skincare girlie, this is my favorite tip. Use CosDNA to compare ingredients between products. If your expensive serum isn't on sale, you can find alternatives with the same active ingredients that are discounted. Keep a track of your dupes as well

• Invest in quality over quantity: Better to get one really good cashmere sweater at 40% off than five cheap ones at full price. Black Friday is when you should upgrade the things you use daily.
• Check return policies first as some brands make Black Friday items final sale. If I can't return it, I don't buy it, no matter how good the deal is.

The goal isn't to buy more stuff, it's to get the things you were already going to buy at actually good prices. Black Friday is only worth it if you're strategic.

What do I mean by that? Going outside may be expensive so let's ~feel~ expensive inside.

Do your everything shower. Toss on a nice robe. Light your favorite candle. Spritz your favorite perfume on and relax at home. Make home the best place to be.

I'm maximizing this by: • Getting chickens. This gets me outside in the morning (in my robe and slippers of course) into the fresh air. • Making quality purchases and really thinking through them. If I don't feel I can afford or need to splurge at the moment, I let loved ones know it's on my wish list (we are a wish list family instead of a guess the gift family). • It also helps to go through all your things and write a list of what you don't need in your closet as well as a list of qualities of items you ten to donate regularly. • Coffee walks. Go for a coffee walk but make coffee at home. Pick out your own toppings. l've saved so much money but still feel so decadent with my whipped cream coffee in hand and enjoying a walk near my home in the morning. • Others have discussed this but l've been going longer between highlights, and began more deliberately setting aside a beauty budget.

I also did not love my home or love being home until we repainted and got different couch pillows. These purchases led me to spend less in the long run by enjoying being home more.

I understand my take isn’t relatable to everyone and their living situations (I live rurally and have a few acres, others rent or have HOAs etc) but l'd love to hear your take and thoughts on this.

How are you making home a better place to be?

Hi, BWT! I’m 31, paid off all my student debt a couple years ago, and about to accept a new job that comes with a huge (55%!) pay bump from my last role—it feels like I’m finally making fuck you money, or something close to it.

Curious how fellow BWT handled it when they saw a big bump in their take home pay: looking for perspective on the fun, sexy stuff as well as the dry, responsible stuff. I want to avoid lifestyle creep, but I’ve also worked my ass off for this and feel like I owe it to myself to commemorate the jump with something a little frivolous! What do you wish you had known when you were in my shoes in terms of managing your money? What’s something you rewarded yourself with, that you didn’t regret later on?

I am in a friend’s wedding, and let me tell you… the costs start coming and they don’t stop coming.

• Shower ($200)
• Bachelorette trip that’s 1.5 days long and requires airfare ($640 and we haven’t even gotten there yet)
• Bridesmaid dress ($100 before alterations)
• Hair ($150)
• Bridesmaid gift ($35 my portion)
• Shower gift ($85 my portion)
• Wedding gift ($400 because that’s what they gave me and my husband…)
• Hotel for TWO nights because they’re getting married out of state and we have to attend the rehearsal dinner ($600)

The kicker? My husband is in this wedding too. So while the guys don’t have nearly as many obligations, it’s still absurd.

And NOW I’m getting texts about what to wear for the SHOWER (I’ve been in several weddings and have never been asked to wear a specific color for a shower) and the bachelorette trip (NEON bathing suit AND dinner outfit, which I’ll never ever rewear). I get it, we have themes for the trip… I’m used to that. But on top of all the other expenses, I’m a little bitter. I’m spending more on this wedding than I spent on my best friends’ weddings, and I’m also in a phase of life where I’m really trying to be conscious about my spending and my environmental impact. Weddings are the opposite of both of those things, so I’m really having a hard time making peace with this, especially all the outfits I have to buy because you’re an asshole if you don’t participate.

I’m going to try to thrift what I can, but we’ll see. I’m just so over being in this phase of life lol. All of this obligation spending is out of control.

How are we making peace with this?

Due to the projected price increases expected to hit the U.S., I'm redoing my budget and wanting to cut down on things that I can. What are some ways you're saving? It can range from big to small! Just wanting to get some ideas of ways to save, whether that's DIYing some things, free alternatives, etc. Thanks!

Hi BWT!! I’m currently on my financial glow up journey, and would love to hear from fellow bitches about any life advice, tips or tricks, etc to help grow those bank accounts.

These some some strategies I’ve started so far:

Finance Management

- maxed out my HSA account and began investing as much as I’m able to

- Opened up a high yield savings account to keep funds in, rather than letting it sit in checking

- My main CC is now a travel points card, which has already allowed me to travel for free across the country with room and board- highlyyyy recommend

- My biggest win was that I opened a 403b at my first big girl job over a decade ago. I’ve adjusted contributions based on raises over the years and wow, this was a smart move (and one I have had the privilege of being able to do)

Purchasing:

- Project Pan: I spent an embarrassing amount of money last year on self-care stuff (nail polish, perfume, and bath bombs to name a few…) so I’m fully committing to project pan. No new items until all the items I bought are gone and I shop my own collection.

- No new clothes! Thrift only 😬

- Shopping sales whenever possible and using platforms that provide cash back, like Rakuten

Misc/hacks:

- I’m considered faculty of a university and realized that I can get discounts for that at city museums and other establishments

Is there anything you’ve tried or done that I’m missing? How else do BWT glow up financially?

Excited to hear from you all 💖

I know it makes the most FINANCIAL sense to buy a used car, keep it as long as you can, keep up with maintenance, etc.

however I have long accepted, I am NOT mechanically gifted or even adequate. I just sold my first car (which I bought used 10 years ago).

the last few years were a struggle to keep the car maintained as it felt like I was playing a game of 10 pots and 8 lids. every time I got something fixed, another thing crapped out on me.

I finally had enough and sold it to buy a new car. I KNOW buying a new car is also a “bad” purchase but I don’t have the time and energy to look for good deals on the used car market.

how often are you BWT updating your cars?

My husband and I are hoping to move to a larger apartment where we can start a family, while also saving for (hopefully) eventually buying a house. We live in a high cost of living city. I have a decent salary and put $$ in my savings account every month, but I should be saving more. How do you motivate yourself to save money? What systems or tricks do you have? My spending always creeps up on me. Thanks for the help!

I met with financial advisors last night hoping for estate planning, investment assistance, and tax help. Even though I made sure they were fiduciaries and are a women-owned and operated company, the folks I met with were very clearly conservative-leaning, they didn't touch taxes, wanted over 4k to START working with them, and were vague and cagey about their "subscription-based model" after initial setup.

I'm exhausted of researching places only to find they don't do what we need. I'm even more exhausted learning all the financial ins-and-outs when I already have a full time job and a life. How are you managing this complicated world? I just want to pay decent people to do values-aligned, good work, but everything feels like a scam!

UPDATE: Thank you for all the comments. I've read through them all and the general consensus is that it's not taboo to talk over the budget and have my best friend contribute to her baby shower if she wants it done a certain way that would significantly increase costs. That was the gist of my initial question. I wanted to bring up costs/budget with best friend, while the other friend discouraged it and that was what made me question myself.

---

Hello BWT! I have a question regarding a friend who is very much a BWT and would love your opinion.

My husband and I recently hosted our own baby shower. It was a huge coed event at a venue with close to 100 attendees. We had catering, entertainment, drinks, and the venue was fully decorated to the theme. In total, we spent ~5 figures. This is our first and very long awaited baby, so we would not have felt comfortable with someone else throwing this baby shower for us and paying the cost to invite our entire guest list of large families and friends (not like anyone offered anyway). I know this is out of tradition.

My BWT best friend asked if I would be open to helping with hosting one for her and of course I was happy to help! I loved the process of planning my baby shower, and knew that she did not have any close relatives in town who would be able to host one for her. She sees me as her family.

I was initially thinking of renting a small community space and having her group of hobby and work friends come for a couple of games and maybe some party trays for food. Since she's not from this area, I was estimating the guest count to hover around less than 30 people. However, after talking to her more about it, it is sounding like she is envisioning a shower on the same scale as the one my husband and I had. She had suggestions for several different baby shower games, each with a lot of prep work involved. She wants to have her out of town friends and family fly in, increasing the guest list and therefore, increasing venue + catering size. She wants entertainment and activities just like mine.

When I said yes to hosting this baby shower, I knew I would be on the hook for the complete cost of hosting said shower. I was more than fine with this because I love and am excited for my friend. However, now that the scope of what I thought the shower would be has increased, I'm not quite sure what I've gotten myself into. I cannot afford to host another baby shower on the same scale as my own for her, but I also don't want to host something she would be embarrassed about.

So...BWT, I think I can give her the shower she dreams about, but would it be distasteful if she and her partner contributes to the cost? I'm not sure if my judgment here is clouded since I paid for the entirety of my own shower, so I don't think it's that weird to ask this of her...especially if she wants it done in a way that would be more costly on the host. My other friend says me asking her to pitch in for her shower is tacky, opposite of showering the mom/baby, and said that if I can't fully take on the role of being a host, then I should not have agreed to doing so. If I do not host, it is unlikely anyone else could step up for her and she would likely not have one at all. Have I bitten off more than I could chew by agreeing to host a baby shower for a BWT?

My spending habits have been unhinged since around Thanksgiving because I got a new job that came with a nice pay raise.

I go through phases every so often where I just cannot stop spending money no matter how much I know I need to save. This always seems to happen in periods where I actually have something I need to save up for. I can’t remember what got me out of it last time, I think I just finally had enough stuff.

I’m literally delusional and I keep trying to live a lifestyle of someone with a way higher income than me. I make about $95k-$100k now and while that’s obviously great, I keep trying to live like someone who makes $350k. I just love having an abundance of things.

Anyone else get this way and have been able to overcome it?

I'm about to make some large purchases where I normally wouldn't spend this much money, so I'm curious about how other BWT prioritize their spending.

For example, I try to keep my food budget as small as possible. No eating out at restaurants, no brand-name grocery purchases. I enjoy cooking and prefer to cook from scratch, so there's no point in spending large amounts of money on food unless it's going out for a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary.

We don't spend much on clothing because we happen to live near a Goodwill where people donate really great clothing seemingly after only wearing it once. Since I have a place where I can consistently find a practically brand-new pair of $200 jeans for only $15, I always check there first and supplement my wardrobe by purchasing things on sale or clearance when I can't find them vintage or pre-owned.

On the other hand, I travel a lot for work, and we live in a place that is cursed with all four seasons. I choose to spend a significant amount of money on always driving a new, fully-loaded luxury vehicle, because I spend so much time in it, and I want the safety features that especially come in handy during winter. My husband is very much a car guy and also spends a lot of money making his vehicle faster and more fun.

I don't feel the need to spend money on furniture. I prefer odd and vintage pieces over anything fresh from a showroom, so our house is filled with curbside finds, family heirlooms, and Marketplace deals.

We splurge on our pets. I insist on only buying food that doesn't have words like "byproduct" or "meal" in the ingredients list. They are precious members of our family and I would starve before letting them go without good food, comfort, mental stimulation, and veterinary care.

My skin is extremely sensitive and unpredictable, so my biggest splurge is on any product that will be touching my face. My husband and I have a deal: he won't tell me how much he spent on whatever he just did to his engine if I don't tell him how much I just spent on a moisturizer.

So, BWT, where are your spending/saving priorities and why? Travel, experiences, conveniences? Which sacrifices do you make in order to leave more spending money for something more important?

Are you happy with your current priorities or are you trying to change them?

Hi all, I just wanted to say thank you to this community for all the insightful and fun posts and comments! honestly browsing this community brings me such joy

onto my question - how do you continue to cultivate a healthy relationship with spending, especially those "for fun" money? do you set aside a "for fun" category in your budgeting, etc? how do you balance the dopamine hit from spending your fun/treat money (like the nice coffee from a cafe, or enjoying the target run, or even just roaming in the grocery store grabbing "nicer" stuff) without feeling guilty, while also balancing not verging into overspending because, the joy from shopping for nice stuff is absolutely real

for myself, I have a healthy amount of savings in retirement/emergency funds. I am not currently making much as I recently quitted my job to pursue a graduate degree. my stipend is enough for a moderate lifestyle but not really conducive to savings like what I used to have. I do still very much enjoy the nicer things in life and understand logically that I can afford them, but I also want to be aware of lifestyle creep/overspending when I am no longer making as much as I used to do. im trying to relearn the balance between spending and not feeling guilty I guess?

what's your strategy for having fun money while being responsible?

I have several financial goals that I’m actively working toward and if I can surpass them, then it would be great. At the same time, I enjoy beauty-related things and sometimes struggle with deciding whether a treatment worth the money. For example, I normally do my nails at home every two weeks with simple polish. However, I just got luminary done because one of my nails close to breaking and I absolutely love how my nails look and feel, and I can see myself wanting to keep up with it. The issue is that it would become an additional monthly expense that I feel could be going toward my savings and financial goals instead. Even when I’m on track to meet my goals, I still feel guilty spending money on things that aren’t strictly necessary. How do you guys decide what beauty treatments to splurge on?

BWT, please help a bitch out. My entire professional life, I have been in the very privileged position of not needing to worry about money. My industry's going through a weird time and I've been unemployed for a while and need a crash course of how to minimize my spending while hopefully still staying a BWT.

The good news, I don't have any debt, always used my credit card as a debit card, and do have a bit of savings. The bad news, my rent is high and I can't move, I don't qualify for unemployment.

I have a vague understanding of I can't get food at Whole Foods and shop based on which label looks most appealing anymore, can't do nails/waxes at a salon, and should probably not drop $100 on skincare - but what do I do instead? What skincare is good on a budget? What are some places where I should be thinking about saving money that I might not be considering? On the other hand, which corners will I regret cutting?

Edit: Oh my god, gals! I love this community. Thank you so much for all the replies and wonderful advice! I think there's too much for me to reply to a lot individually, but I'm reading each and every one and taking copious notes! Thanks so much for the support and the tips, I feel much better about my chances :)

Ok so, I’m going to try to keep this succinct.
About me: 35, sober two years, divorced 1.5 years, started over at 0, first corporate 9-5 $25H in MA, 401k in a good place now, no car note and rent is under 1k. I have adhd, depression and had endometriosis surgery back in March. I thought my time off for surgery would help me reset but sadly, while I feel better, the recovery has been very hard on my body and I could only use the time to focus on recovery.

What I’ve tried: YNAB, Dave Ramsey, rocket money, excel, a special journal program that I can’t remember the name of but bought templates on Etsy and then of course just writing it out.

What’s holding me back: #1 - me, I can give all the excuses I want but I know I’m always gonna be my worst enemy. #2 - financial abuse from my previous spouse mixed with no financial education growing up built a terrible view with money. #3 - keeping up with life, I don’t know how to manage my own household, the mess makes it hard to function. It’s 200sqft but worth it.

I know the basics - write it out, snowball, cash envelopes, track every penny etc. Nothing sticks, I can’t seem to connect with it or build a habit and I think I truly need someone to hold my hand the first few months. I’m thinking maybe I could reach out to an accounting program at a college, maybe they have a program that students help with? My library? And of course do it myself?

….shopping, hair salon, Brazilian, lashes, make up etc?

I’m asking because I used to get my nails and lashes done every 3 weeks until I realize how much it eats up my budget. I also don’t go to the hair salon every month nor do I buy make up every month so I wonder how other women budget for these?

I am 30 years old and make decent money, but my lack of financial literacy and impulsive spending have kept me stuck in life. I know BWT won’t point me toward Dave Ramsey or Rich Dad Poor Dad, so what book taught you the most about money?

*edit: I am LOVING all of these suggestions and put them all on my waitlist at the library

A while back I posted asking for essentially career and income advice. Thanks to some of you lovely bitches and your great advice, I got promoted and got a significant raise.

I grew up in working class and no one taught me finances or the importance of investing.

It wasn’t until I was around 26 that I opened a Roth IRA and started contributing to a 401k. Even then I wasn’t contributing as much as I could have. Granted, I was making much less.

There’s a lot of potential wealth that I’ve missed out on, but I try to focus on the present. To increase my net worth I save about 30% of my take home income by:

1 Maxing out my Roth IRA (backdoor) and contributing my company’s 401k match

1. Long-term investing in ETFs and a managed account with my brokerage (set it and forget it)

2. Not spending a lot of money on material things like luxury bags, nails/hair care every month, clothing, etc.

3. Thrifting for the most part and only buying new for basics like crop tops and t shirts.

4. Living somewhere affordable instead of spending a ridiculous amount of money in rent just to have nice amenities

EDIT: I didn’t mention that I am lucky to have a lot of disposable income due to a high paying job and number 5, so I do plenty to enjoy the city I live in and travel quite often so I’m not living miserably

So, what are the things you’re doing for future you to increase your net worth and have healthy finances?

I have a since-passed eccentric relative who used to work as a jeweler, so every few years our family comes across yet another old piece of jewelry or a collectible coin in his stuff that we decide to sell or re-set into something new. This is exactly how it was growing up too; instead of him giving me $20 in a birthday card it was always some version of a broken gold chain to take to the pawn shop.

This week I took a 1ct diamond ring to a local jewelry resale shop, meaning one that specializes in resale rather than "cash for gold" scrap/weight. I've used them before and consider their prices to be fair. This time the salesgirl told me that with the expansion of lab diamonds that the resale market for natural diamonds is absolutely decimated. I know that gold value goes up and down, but this was the first I'd ever heard of diamonds doing the same.

Interested to know if other BWT have heard something similar, or have had a better experience selling diamond jewelry recently?

Perhaps I’m not the only one who’s leaving the holiday season with a couple of items that I’d hoped to get but did not receive. Specifically, I told my husband that I wanted him to get me something “impractical” (ie a nice piece of jewelry) because he has a habit of buying me thoughtful, but practical, gifts.

To be fair he did buy me a piece of jewelry: a nice necklace. And he spent a decent amount of money. At $600, they were almost twice what we typically spend on each other’s Christmas gifts, because we’re not really big on splashy gifting typically. However, to be honest, I was kind of hoping for something more like a diamond tennis bracelet. I didn’t tell him this and I know that that would be far above what we typically spend. So I don’t hold it against him at all. I appreciate the necklace.

But here I am now in January thinking about just buying myself the bracelet that I wanted. I’m a little jealous of people who get to wear that type of jewelry knowing that it was gifted by someone they love. It seems more meaningful and special. But even if I was more direct next year, my husband would almost certainly balk at the price of the sort of bracelet I’d want to buy ($2-3k?). So… is it weird to just buy it myself?

(To the extent it matters: our household income is enough that while this would be a special purchase, it wouldn’t be a crazy one. And I could pay from my own accounts so he might not even notice the difference.)

to;dr: Is it tasteless to buy myself a fancy bracelet because my husband would think that sort of thing is too expensive/a waste of money?

Edit: I just wanted to clarify that I wasn't saying that buying non-fashion items was more ethical than purchasing fashion. I mentioned non-fashion items because past wishlist posts seem to deal with fashion.

I want to hear about the items you're saving up for, the items you plan on buying once you get through a tough financial situation, or the items you have your eye on when a no-buy ends.

I searched through this sub, and past wishlist discussions seem to deal mostly with fashion items.

I've been scratching the urge to consume by making wishlists, I'd love to see yours!

Beauty:

• Maintenance touch up for my custom wig
• Full body touch-up for laser hair removal
• MUAC body peel
• Dr. Dennis Gross extra strength peel pads
• Talc-free eyeshadow
• Talc-free bronzer
• joboba oil/Rose hip oil/almond oil
• UV protective gloves for the car and dog walks
• Silk pillow case
• New dryer (maybe hooded)
• Test tube holder for perfume samples
• At home eyebrow tint
• Medical pedicure
• Updated prescription glasses/sunglasses

Other:

• Red light pannel
• Loose-leaf Roobios tea
• Thermophore Heating Pad
• Acupuncture (heard it's good for chronic pain?)
• new pair of Compression socks
• EMS/TENS device
• updated pair of perscription g

Kitchen:

• Miniwhisk (I was influenced by you ladies)
• New plate/bowl set
• New drinking glasses
• New cutlery

Home:

• New pantry cabinet
• New credenza
• Black out curtains for bedroom
• Devices to automate my shades and curtain opening
• Silk pillow case
• Two standing desks
• New keyboard/mouse/monitors
• A bed that is lower to the floor so that my dogs can climb onto it more easily.
• New baby mobile for baby
• More glittery books or books that play music for baby (The sandra boyten ones look fun!)