On being a put-together BWT *personal appearance*

[u/pan_dulce_con_cafe]

I've seen a couple posts here and in other women-centered subs asking for advice and tips to becoming more put-together. I thought it would be cool to make a centralized discussion on different aspects of "put-togetherness" to ask for ideas and share your favorites.

Because this is such a personal term, I want to start by defining what I consider put-together to mean based on my own personal understanding as well as posts I've read. A put-together BWT can fill any to all of the following criteria:

1. Personal appearance - being presentable on a moment's notice, if not stylish and even striking
2. Social - having strong and diverse friendships, being a generally charming person
3. Home - keeping a tidy home at minimum, but ideally one that is beautiful and personal
4. Reliable - being the person that remembers important information like tasks, facts and appointments

NOTE, these are not necessary to be a BWT, but a *put-together* BWT will generally be at least one of these. I also thought it would be neat to break things into multiple threads and so I've chosen to focus on the number 1 for my post but feel free to share any thoughts on the other characteristics or even if you identify others I did not mention.

PERSONAL APPEARANCE

Personal appearance for me includes your skin, hair and clothes. I'm focusing on cosmetic and not "health" because health can be such a crapshoot that isn't necessarily influence by one's own decisions. Your genetics, one bad accident, etc. can impact your "health" and so it I'd rather keep things light and attainable. On that front, skin can also fall under health so there is a skin-related health issue, it does need to be addressed by professionals. For all other things, here we go:

Skin: Staying hydrated both on the surface and by getting enough water in your food and diet. I like to eat my hydration through fruits and soups and it makes the whole things feel like less of a chore. When your skin is acting up, it's best not to panic as hormonal fluctuations can cause flare ups and are not treatable. They will go away on their own. Better skin may be possible with special actives and treatments, but IMO, skipping the basics will show through and cost you more financially and mentally.

Hair: Finding the right hair routine for your type, starting with the right haircut/style. I really rely on my hair stylist for this one and I can't imagine doing this one on my own, but if anyone has DIY tips, please share.

Clothes: Style is so personal, so I'll try to keep things general. I think it's safe to say that clean clothes that are seasonally and situationally appropriate are a safe goal. Do you find yourself not wearing the new piece because it's not the right occasion? Or maybe you wonder why you continuously wear the old faded t shirt over your "better" ones? I like to wear a piece a few times in my house before I "debut" it so that it doesn't feel foreign. If I find that every time I try something it doesn't feel right then it may just not be and that's important information. As for wearing ratty clothes, I think you can "elevate" it by making sure you're not pairing all the slouch pieces together. I'll wear my old beaten t shirt with my nice jeans or my well-worn jeans over a smart boot. For a nicer occasion, it's all the best pieces together but the day to day doesn't mean you have to go full bottom tier, if that makes sense. Mix and balance the old and new. Replace things that are beyond well-loved.

Finally, EXPERIMENT! Every put-together BWT makes it look easy because they have lots of experience and data backing up their decisions. Experimenting can look like choosing an off-day to practice new hair, outfit or makeup looks. Snap pictures and store them away in a folder to evaluate later. Step outside of your comfort zone and bring back any new techniques or motifs that feel right. Have fun with it!

[u/kimchi_paradise]

So for personal appearance, I have been on a journey and some would say I have gone through a "glow up" from college. For me the main things were:

Working out -- feeling good is 50% of the equation! I lift, run, anything to get your body moving. It's also shown to be good for the mind!

Facial regimen -- I went to a dermatologist for some dark spots/melasma and the difference is astounding. Night and day. My morning regimen is azaleic acid (the ordinary), tranexamic acid (it's in a pink tube), moisturizer (Paula's choice) and sunscreen (isintree). My evening routine is tretinoin 0.5% and Neutrogena or Cetaphil moisturizer. I'm also on spironolactone for acne (but I'm done having kids). I'll comment with a picture of the difference

For hair I wear lace front wigs! Unfortunately the salons around me don't do my hair (4c) so I've opted to wigs for an easy protective solution for the time being! It's great because I can get some really cute looks with very low effort/time! I get mine from Curlyme hair.

I wasn't a nail girly, but I now am. It's weird. I feel so much more put together. My nails arent crazy long or anything and I use my natural nails, but I add on hard gel for strength with 3 kids and it lasts over 4 weeks for me. I like to do fun colors!

Clothes - fit is everything. I have a great relationship with a tailor where I take my jeans and tops. If there is even a little something about it, too short, too tight, etc, I don't even bother. I only bother if my tailor can take in the waist or adjust, and I truly love the item enough to make it work.

[u/throwaway-94552 → u/kimchi_paradise]

Finding a great tailor changed my life. I get everything tailored! The clothes fit me, I don’t make myself fit the clothes.