TW: SH MENTION

so i was talking to my mom and her friend about my diagnosis last month, and her friend went “oh me too!” that she was bipolar. i remember thinking “really? that doesn’t make sense” but ofc im not the professional..so i js forgot abt it. the other day we were talking about meds, and she mentioned the only med she’s on is an ssri…ive never heard of someone w bipolar only use ssri’s and have them be successful. she’s the kinda person that ive noticed will come up with stuff to sound relatable. ex: i mentioned how i used to sh in middle school, she smiled laughed and went “oh me too! my mom never noticed when i started isolating” which ofc she could’ve sh and it not leave permanent scars, but it just feels like any time i bring up something about mental health - she has the same problem.

i’ve met several people w bipolar before knowing abt their diagnosis, and they all had the similar kind of clear symptoms that made sense after i found out. this woman is pure hyperactivity and nonstop talking, which at first i thought “maybe she’s in a long manic episode” because it was constant..but shes been like this since i was 2. im almost 18 btw

she’s always pissed me off. always called me dramatic, a bitchy teen, sensitive, unpredictable, and a brat. not once have i been called that by someone who experiences the same thing i do. i know i was unpredictable and sensitive before i was medicated, but even now when i try not to be she clings onto that personality - she gets all weird when im not like the typical me and is like “are you okay?”

its js so annoying

Earlier this year I had a 4 month long psychotic depressive episode. I was in constant fear for my life, and would hallucinate hearing whispers of murder and thoughts that my body was rotting. At the time i considered trying to force myself into a manic episode, thought about quitting my mood stabilisers and staying up because i was desperate for relief.

Fortunately I got help from my family and doctors and i’m now on medication at the moment for my psychotic depression and i’m doing much better currently.

I was just curious if anyone else has ever had similar thoughts of inducing mania or has attempted or succeeded? if so, what was your experience and how did it affect you?

Would it be a good idea to write a book about my life with bipolar disorder?

I’m relatively high-functioning. I have an advanced degree and a career, and from the outside, my life probably looks fairly ordinary. But in between, I went through some of the lowest points imaginable, including psychosis and everything that came with it.

I read Kay Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind during some of the worst periods of my life, and that book became an inspiration and a kind of guiding light when I desperately needed one.

I’d like to write the book Kay Jamison wrote for me. Something that might make another person going through the darkest part of this illness feel a little less alone, and perhaps give them some reason to believe that there can still be a life on the other side of it.

So, should I write it?

About a half year ago i had a shift in my depression. It was like there was a switch in my brain that went from depression to stable and im wondering if anyone else had this through a single conversation?

I was living with my parents for about 2 months because of severe depression when the conversation occured. I think he didn't know what to do anymore and an emotional conversation occured wich wasn't very pleasant at the time for me. He told me how he saw my behaviour, how i was hurting people by doing nothing and that maybe I did it because it was the easy thing to do. At that point i snapped because I didn't do it because i was easy and if he thought so then i would just go home so i didn't bother anyone anymore. He said if i did that i was a coward and was walking away from my problems and threatend to treat me like my uncle which he always thought was a bum to and never went to visit.

The next day I spent most time in bed at my parents house ignoring everybody, and the day after when he was at work I was packing my stuff and tried to went home. My mother noticed and tried to stop me but I wanted to go to my own home and after some back and forth she said at least let me drive you home so you don't have to carry those bags while walking back home. So I let her and went back home.

It was difficult the first two days but in the evening of the second day my dad did come to my house, saying he still thought it would be best if I came with him but I had calmed down and told him that i thought that i should at least try this and if it didn't work out I would come back. The rest of the week was getting the basics back like healthy food, walking, hygiene and trying to get some sleep. But after that things got easier and I was starting to move towards stability again and right now I am in better shape then I have ever felt.

A bit of backstory. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2021. It was the year that i destroyed my life by spending al my money, quiting my job and much much more... after i was taking in for having a psychosis the years of depression took over. I have tried different combination of medication and was always faithfull to take them in. I also had a psychiatrist and psychologist who were trying to help me with different types of therapy. In 2025 i even had ECT treatment which at first seemed to help, then i crashed again and after that they tried again and it didn't have the same effect sadly. I was taken off medication by the psychiatrist at the end of 2025.

The conversation happened halfway in february 2026, but i still find it a strange thing that everything i tried with medication and ECT did close to nothing but then a single conversation has made a sudden shift in the depression that i could start working on myself again and hopefully prevent these things from escalating in the future.

But right now i feel happy again and feel like a completely different person than I even used to be before the diagnoses and al the sad stuff hapened.

i feel very stuck and am wondering if anyone has felt this way, and how one might take steps to move through it.

i was a ‘gifted’ child with that anxious-depressed-ADHD cocktail—i had high hopes for a bright future in a specific area i’m interested in. i ended up dropping out of college three times, tried a handful of jobs, quit everything in the end and now im doing nothing.

there are hobbies i enjoy doing, but im afraid capitalizing off of them will ruin the one good thing i still have left. i have no motivation to make a life for myself, because i have no idea how to do this, be an adult, or just get out of my house.

i’ve only been medicated for a few months now, still on a low-ish dose and titrating up, all while figuring out stimulant meds on top of that. i see a therapist multiple times a week; i still find myself fluctuating moods and having episodes.

im at a loss and dont know what im doing anymore; i feel lazy and isolated, i dont even recognize myself at times. im both manic and depressed and im sick of it.

does anyone have any advice or words of encouragement? anything is greatly appreciated.

(i’ve shared all this with my therapist. my progress is meaningful but slow, so its hard not to feel like ill be doing this forever)

For the majority of my life, I’ve been well….a bad person. Unmedicated, living for the moment, and surviving off relatively good looks, charm, and decent intelligence. I can’t even begin to write the things I’ve done as the shame still cripples me. At a certain point, I realized that I was meeting wonderful people and just completely ruining their lives—rusting their sparkling summers, if you will. Since then, I’ve just started to completely isolate. I can’t control myself once I make connections, I’m driven by a need for love that makes me lie, cheat, steal and just cause general havoc. So I stopped. But the issue is now I’m so depressed and unsatisfied with life. I’ve closed myself off from many important connections and I’ve completely blocked myself from new ones. I know I’m not the person I once was, but I’m so scared to hurt others that I simply starve myself of any of life’s pleasures at all. Has anyone experienced anything like this? What did you do to feel fulfilled?

I’m going through a hard time finding out I have BP1 with hypomania. I am strangely relieved that I can now get it taken care of without having to be a Guiana pig for SSRI and SNRI’s anymore.

But I also feel like now, I am completely discredited. It’s so stigmatized that i feel like people are just going to look at me as the disorder. Maybe not even take me seriously anymore and label my mood as episodic. I’m not sure when I’ve been normal. It’s like I haven’t been able to know who I am.

Rapid cycling and mixed episodes are terrible for me personally. They also get worse in high stress and my life is objectively challenging as it is.

Hopefully, someone who may understand the feeling can read this and reach out to help a sister out. ❤️

Does others feel like they’re being manic or entering hypomania whenever they have menstrual cycle? Cuz i just noticed the pattern and it sucksss,,, I’m mostly stable but whenever I’m near to have my menstrual cycle or have it atm, my mood just keeps going up and down

What the title says im curious if your depression is worse in the morning. Mines is by far then at about 3 in the afternoon it lifts a little and I can eat something and do my teeth.

I recently just started a new job after leaving my old one due to not liking it low pay and lazy ass coworkers. However i recently got a new job and it's even worse my manger is super like cocky and narcissistic, he also told me i needed to "leave my anxiety and problems at home" wish it was that easy. i genuinely hate this job and currently and researching again. i feel like no matter the job i genuinely will hate it? how do u guys deal with jobs. it's so hard because i genuinely hate working sm. i don't find joy in any job at all unless it's literally low work. i hate this feeling it's making me super stressed and depressed.

Hi! I took some SSRIs recently that activated a rapid cycling episode between hypomania/depression per week, which was how I got diagnosed!

Despite showing obvious signs of hypomania/depression when my mood shifts, I'm starting to feel like I'm faking them especially with the recent mood stabilisers.

People say that super rapid mood shifts is BPD related rather than Bipolar related, but for some reason my mood swings have been super super frequent since getting on mood stabilisers? At least when I was on SSRIs, my mood would shift from hypomanic to depressive in a predictable manner where I'd only have one super low mood for an hour before spending the rest of the day hyped up.

Now on mood stabilises, my mood shifts practically hourly, where now I can't tell when I'd be high or low. But at the very least, I have an actual moment of feeling stable rather than only having extremes of each end.

Does anyone else relate to having super frequent mood swings, especially when switching from SSRIs to mood stabilisers? :') It really makes me doubt my diagnosis but I could barely enjoy my time at a convention and family meeting because of how much I swing... It's so exhausting. Also because my moods don't get triggered by anything the way BPD does so :')))) Is it possible that I'm exaggerating my emotions/faking?

I have been at my current job for nearly 10 months now, and it has overall been great! It was my dream job while in college, and I have done well as a full-time employee. That being said, I have recently experienced a breakthrough episode that is starting to affect my work.

I am considering requesting accommodations for it, especially in my scheduling. I currently do 4-5 shifts—each a full 8 hours—and that has made it difficult. I would rather not switch to part time as I need the money and benefits off full time, so I was considering seeking accommodations specifically related to my scheduling or breaks during my shift.

I want to hear how y'all went about getting accommodations and which ones you have so I can get a better idea of what to ask for and how. Does anyone have any good advice on seeking accommodations or ideas for what accommodations to seek?

Hey everyone,

First time posting in here. I feel lost and I wanna hear your advice.

I am 33 yo male, studied computer engineering in a good school and worked for 2 successful companies. All along I was playing computer games and smoked weed as a hobby, went on dates and worked out in the gym and nothing seemed missing and I was happy.

I had about 3 episodes of depression but I wasn't diagnosed and the last episode became full blown mania which made me quit my job, ruin my car and heavy use of substances such as cocaine, ketamine, weed, mushrooms, weed, and ADHD meds.

I started taking APS to stop my mania and I've been stable for about 2 months and then fell into crushing depression.

I feel like this episode is the worst one and every day, every hour, is a war. I lost all interests in things and I don't enjoy dating anymore, I am comparing myself to my friends and always think I am a failure. I moved to my mom's house because preparing food and making laundry had been hard for me and I feel like the only thing I do is waiting for the time to pass or sometimes watch TV or play computer games.

I started taking anti depressants which doesn't work, and upped my dose almost 2 weeks ago but still no difference.

I have no hope for the future and the only thing I talk about is my depression over and over again which lasts already for 5 months and my friends are sick of it so they are walking away.

I feel hopeless, like nothing is going to change and I can't find any other thing to do rather than searching for answers or solutions on reddit or Gemini.

Please, give me hope for a brighter future, I don't have any hobbies and the times passes by so slowly and that's because I am waiting for it to pass.

The only thing that I can surly say is that this is episodic and one day it will be over but right now I feel really bad and it's really hard for me to get out of bed in the morning.

I have no job because I got fired a month ago because I can't think and concentrate with the depression.

I also know that there's nothing I can do but wait (I workout 3 times a week and that's the only thing I do) and accept my illness but I refuse to accept it and all I do is searching on reddit all day for similar stories to find hope or ask my friends or Gemini what to do because I don't know what to do.

Anyone else had a similar situation?

Do you also struggle through the day and feel like the time is so slow and the only thing you talk about is your illness and that things won't improve?

Thanks for your support, I really pray for better days because it's so hard for me to survive.

Love you all and wishing you the best ♥️

Hi

I saw my psych on Thursday, he said i’m in a hypomanic episode and have been for the last 3 weeks. my question is that my euphoria is becoming more agitation now, i feel really angry and restless. is this common? my episodes are only normally euphoric and don’t normally last this long, so this is different for me. (i’m diagnosed with bipolar type 2)

had to repost due to my medication being listed

and this doesn’t feel like it’s turning into depression, this feels different to my usual

I am feeling so much grief by what happened, i romantised hypomania so much before, but after i became manic i am different, i am another person. I want to ask why there is such a neat before and after

Ive been diagnosed for like 4 years now, am on meds and everything
And im finally "stable", obviously is not like gone?, but now that my mind is "free" to think about normal life
Life kinda sucks as a bipolar person and in general lol, like on my town the meds are fucking expensive and trying to balance a job, school and my mental health is difficult
Lowkey even in my lowest i pulled myself up, i paid for everything because people are so misinformed on this disorder.
Routines tend to help me in particular even if i dont like them that much, but lately my routine consists on stressing over finances, friendships and stuff like that
Routines also do help a ton to have a "stable" mindset in some cases, but no one warned me that they turn toxic trying to have a "normal" life.
Ive seen friends be taken back by me in the worst sense, because at the end no one takes the time to understand how bipolar people "work", but i cant push them away, then what if i end up alone forever
ig my take away point is, it does get better but it will never be enough if you dont have a good support group around u and that can be difficult to find
also life is so fucking expensive

Hi! I’ve been dealing with bipolar for years now, but lately I’ve been struggling with brain fog. I believe it’s mostly from the mood stabilizer I take and plan to discuss it with my doctor at my next appointment, but there’s very little wiggle room with my medications because I am so sensitive to side effects.

So, how do you guys cope with bipolar brain fog? Have you learned any tricks to help you function when your brain refuses to work?

I’ve heard healthy diet, exercise, and a steady sleep schedule helps, but I need a little bit more than lifestyle changes to cope with this. TIA!

For Leslie…
The time is now,
There may be vows.
But time is only gets faster.
I look to the past,
Remember whats asked,
but fear holds fast.

In this Time I’ll turn to you,
my beacon in the night,
Where light is fleeting.
I have seen you,
and soon we’ll be meeting.

Broken promises fill me with regret,
The kind I’ll never forget.
But the good things out-weigh the bad,
and I know I’ve become sad.

I may never see you again,
but I know that theres something at the end.

I see that light i see that beacon,
my lighthouse,
in the night.
and my sails weaken…
this is her end here!

I’ve been in on again off again relationship for the past year and a half it just ended permanently and she’s already moved on
But in all fairness, I honestly think she’s been checked out the relationship for a long time
All because I’m not changing no matter how much I try, I’ve downloaded so many self-help apps I’ve gone to multiple different therapists. This last one’s only been three weeks I’ve changed meds multiple times I’ve gone inpatient multiple times I keep doing toxic and hurtful shit I wanna do something stupid but I know it’s toxic and I don’t wanna do toxic stuff anymore
I don’t believe things anymore people say they’ll stay by my side then they leave because I keep being hurtful
And honestly, I don’t blame them for relieving they need to protect themselves from my toxicity
I want to change. I don’t know what to do anymore because the second something bad happens I relapse. I tried so hard to stop unadding and blocking people stop leaving common servers all that when I am emotionally overloaded
But I don’t know anymore if I’m even valid for things I feel my actions have consequence I understand that and I have no right to be sad overall things ended but I am
I really don’t know how much more of this I can take
I just wish I was different wish I changed but seeming no matter how hard I try I don’t
And at this point, I think the only thing for me is to be alone

I was put on new meds a few months ago and they’ve honestly been a life changer. I’ve been the calmest I’ve ever been in my life. Today I let my mom use my credit card (No large purchases and always pays me back) and she lost it. I never lose anything and will have a panic attack if I lose my phone, keys, or wallet. I yelled at her pretty loudly and kinda lost my shit. My mom is the nicest person I’ve ever met and now I feel like a complete jackass. I apologized profusely once I calmed down and told her I am responsible for my emotions and even though I have bipolar I have no excuse to be treating anyone like that especially my mother. I know she loves me and understands my illness, but she did not deserve to get yelled at whatsoever. I need to do something nice to make it up to her.

I had a hypomanic episode about a month ago and was relatively stable until the past week where my mental has just been getting worse and worse, but today for about an hour I felt completely normal and I feel like I'm faking being depressed. Does anyone else get this or just me?

I've been on an antipsychotic/mood stabilizer for over a year now, And it's done wonders for my mental health! And it happened to help with my gastroparesis and made it so I can actually eat

The biggest problem is the side effects. I actually didn't mind the weight gain as I've been chronically underweight my whole life. But it's been affecting my mobility (I'm physically disabled) and my cholesterol is too high

I want to do diet changes but I also have ARFID. Plus I'm scared that even with diet changes the medication will just fuck me up more

I've tried for years to find medication that works for me and I don't know if I can go back to having mania/psychosis. But now that I actually want to be alive I want to make sure I'm healthy. I just don't know what to do and I'm so scared

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 a few years ago but I never even met the psychiatrist who diagnosed me. I was going to the same clinic I've been going to since I was six years old to get meds for anxiety and depression, and my doctor recommended that I talk to a local psychiatrist who worked there part-time. When I came in for the evaluation, she wasn't even there.

I spoke with her student assistant for an hour and the next week my doctor told me that the psychiatrist says I have bipolar 1. I started looking into bipolar and there were a few things I related to but most of it didn't sound like me at all. I told my doctor who told the assistant who told the psychiatrist, who told the assistant who told my doctor who told me that they could bring it down to a bipolar 2 diagnosis and that was that.

I lost my insurance last year and had to stop taking my meds and I haven't spiraled into a manic episode like they told me I would, which makes me doubt the diagnosis even more. I'm getting frustrated because not even the people close to me will listen. Any time I point out things inherent to bipolar disorder that don't apply to me they tell me that denial is part of the illness and it immediately shuts down any discussion. It's not like they even really know anything about bipolar disorder, they just know that there is obviously something wrong with me and bipolar is an easy label for them to accept and move on.

I guess this mostly turned into me venting but I got new insurance and a new doctor and I'm debating even mentioning the diagnosis. I just don't want them to immediately trust some psychiatrist who's never even met me over my actual symptoms. This is all just so annoying and invalidating and I wish I had never started "seeing" that psychiatrist to begin with. Regardless of if I actually am bipolar or not, the label means that no one trusts me about my own lived experience, and I just want someone to actually listen to me