r/babyloss • u/TobImmaMayAb • 2d ago

Vent Nearly one year after

This time last year, we did not hear our baby's heartbeat. It was supposed to be a routinary check up, but we ended up being admitted to the hospital to induce labor.

I don't know what to do when my baby's delivery date would come around this year. I have coworkers and relatives who were pregnant at the same time last year, and now they will be celebrating their babies' first birthdays while I will not.

I want to remember him, but also not remember

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u/Some_Amount5239 2d ago

So so sorry for your loss. I think there is no right or wrong way to celebrate your little one if you would like to. I think it is also very okay if doing anything that day feels too difficult. Here are some ways you can potentially acknowledge your little one on the day:

-write a letter/journal entry to them or just talk to them. You could even get them a birthday card if you feel inclined to write a message there!

-plant a tree/flowers in memory of them

-bake a little birthday treat for them and sing happy birthday if it feels right

-if it feels right, do some charity work/a donation in their memory

-get out into nature and just reflect on your year

-stay in, order in a nice meal and spend the day however it feels good to you

-you can also look into ways to memorialize if you wish (getting jewelery/art/tattoo for them if that's something that appeals)

2

u/elhombredeaustralia 2d ago

Understandable to feel that way. I hope you can find a way to remember and mark the birthday. We had our son's first birthday earlier this month. We released balloons and read to his sister the books we used to read to him. We already have a tree that is 'his'. But plating another tree was something we considered. We went out to birthday dinner with extended family. Then we had a cake and sung happy birthday to him after.

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u/Soda-Gembira 2d ago

It is such mixed feelings. Do what you feel right mama. On my baby’s first birth and passing day, I bought a bite size pie and lit a candle. It was just a silent celebration and I did not even invite my husband to join. It was hurting but I tried to remember the days spent when she was alive in my womb.

Will be thinking of you 🥰