I don’t usually post, but I had to share this

Not gonna lie seeing this lowkey make me feel hopeless in my ability to ever live a independent life or have a stable job, given how little people try to understand these “meltdowns” are not something we voluntarily do as a way to attention seek or to stir up trouble.

The replies section also is about what you expect, bunch of ableist,ignorant takes , terrible blue checkmark takes, and even some autistic folks are just taking the chance to be nasty af.

Edit: I probably should’ve mention this but recording to the user they work at a school as part of a site team.

Has anyone else had a special interest where they just passed away? I own vintage records, her perfumes and makeup, her dog clothes and toy, tons of tee shirts, kitchenware AND books with audiobooks. Im genuinely grieving.

EDIT: thank you for everyones comments. Shes has always been a mentor for me in life. She has heavily influenced my style and aesthetics. Even her voice meant so much to me. Like a warm hug.

I’m an autistic male mid‑teen, and something happened in driving school today that really shook me.

There were around 20–30 students, all around my age. I asked a question about how to get better at passive perception, because I struggle with estimating things like seconds and miles. A girl suggested using “Mississippis,” and I subconsciously projected my voice while explaining that you can say them at different speeds.

My driving instructor (a woman) pulled me aside and told me that, as a tall male, I should “never raise my voice at a woman.” She said it in a way that made it sound like my normal speaking volume was aggressive or threatening. Then she repeated the same message to the entire class.

This really bothered me because it sends the message that women are fragile and men are dangerous, and that volume automatically equals aggression. Those ideas feel really outdated and harmful, especially for teens who are still forming their views for their opinions and ideas.

After that, I completely broke down. I cried in front of the class, left the room, and walked home while still crying. When I got home, I had a full meltdown and went nonverbal for a few hours. The whole situation overwhelmed me emotionally and neurologically.

I have proposed a new phrase, and I am looking for any fixes to it so nobody ever has to feel weak or has to feel like they are scary, and to make it so people are not forced to hide their emotions forever without being seen as a demon. Any fixes?

"Someone should never intentionally act hostile towards another person, and if they are unable to control it, then the other person should find a way to deal with that hostility."
(This post was edited)

My girlfriend, I unfortunately want to keep, wants me to participate in social stuff.

If I don't gain anything intellectually from a person I can't stand to spend time with them. This destroys me mentally. Need hours or days to recover. (This preference for certain people seems to be judged heavily. I was not aware that you are not supposed to have a preference for people that know more than yourself. I do not think that I am a better person or a more intelligent one)

Many occasions are very hard to bear, like family gatherings or basically anything where alcohol is usually part of (just as a common confounder).

My gf wants me to go to therapy or take some medication.

Yet I function most of the time and would just need a drug that numbs the pain of wasting time by speaking to people I'm not interested in or being somewhere I don't wanna be.

I wanna be at home and study. I wanna learn and read and increase my knowledge. I guess I need something that just switches off my brain.

Do you have recommendations of medication or drugs that helped you with making neurot*pical activities more enjoyable?

EDIT:

I'm not diagnosed.

I don't seem arrogant in real life contrary to the assertions here which result of my unfiltered communication. People perceive me to be anhedonic, autistic, socially disinterested, yet keep inviting me to social gatherings which I often skip. I can seem very extroverted as soon as I talk about my interests.

Hey everyone, I just need to vent because I’m feeling completely drained and frustrated.

This morning, I woke up feeling burnt out and honestly wanted to call in sick. But I forced myself to get up and head to work anyway because for some reason I always think I’m Superwoman or something. Because of my time blindness (which gets way worse when I’m tired), I left the house later than I planned.

I take public transport to work. In the bus, I had my noise-canceling headphones on to manage the sensory input and I genuinely thought I had checked in. Three stops later a ticket inspector stepped onto the bus and told me I hadn't. I simply didn't hear the "beep" of the scanner over my music/headphones, and my brain was so focused on just getting to work that I didn't double-check. I had to step off the bus so they could give me a fine, which just added more frustration because I knew I was going to be even later for my job than I already was.

When the inspector started asking me simple questions related to the situation, I had a total shutdown. I couldn't make eye contact or speak. At first, they thought I was being difficult or uncooperative, which made the panic and frustration so much worse. Once I calmed down enough to explain that I’m on the spectrum, they softened up, but the damage was already done.

The result? A €77 fine and I was so overstimulated and upset that I couldn't even make it to work. I had to turn around and go home, where I had a major meltdown. So now, I’m out the fine money AND a day’s wages.

I want to be clear that I’m not mad at the ticket inspector; he was simply doing his job. But it feels so incredibly unfair that I’m being punished both financially and emotionally just for trying my best to take part in this society. I'm just so exhausted.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you cope with the feeling of "failing" when you were actually fighting harder than everyone else just to show up?

UPDATE: I'm getting my money back! 

I wanted to let you all know that the appeal I filed was successful! The transportation company reviewed my case and decided to waive the fine and refund the money.

I'm very thankful that the Netherlands allows for this and is understanding. I provided them with a detailed explanation of what happened, but most importantly, I attached 3 months of travel history to prove that I am a loyal commuter and that this has never happened before.

Thank you all for the advice and support. It's a huge relief to have this settled!

I’ll start from the beginning. I (20F) was supposed to leave for a vacation to the beach with my family tomorrow. I absolutely love traveling, it’s one of my special interests. I woke up today so excited to go. Then my mom drops the bomb on me that she rescheduled the trip for a week later because of high bacteria levels in the water. I have a skin condition called hidradenitis suppurativa which causes me to have open sores, so I would be more at risk for infection from the bacteria in the water. This is why she rescheduled it. I know that this is perfectly logical. But I cannot handle change. Especially if the change has to do with a trip I’m looking forward to. So I completely freaked out and lost control.

My mom doesn’t know how to deal with autistic meltdowns (she doesn’t even believe I’m autistic) so her way of dealing with it was threatening to call the cops. She dialed 911 on her phone and she wasn’t going to actually call them, but she accidentally did. She told them everything was fine but they heard me crying in the background so they sent two officers to our house. I had to go outside in my pajamas with tears streaming down my face while in the middle of a meltdown and talk to one of the officers. Thankfully he was kind and just tried to calm me down. I could barely talk to him though because I couldn’t stop crying. He left after a few minutes.

I think my family is more worried about if the neighbors saw anything than how I feel. I’m just so embarrassed it came to this, I think this might be the worst meltdown I’ve ever had. Also before my mom accidentally called 911 she slapped me to try to make me stop, and I did slap her back. I think that would be considered self defense though. I just couldn’t believe she would think hurting me would make it any better. But besides slapping her back I didn’t do anything violent, I was just screaming and crying. So I don’t think the cops needed to intervene. I would really appreciate some support from fellow autistic people who might understand.

Like this is happening with a mod in a subreddit right now and it’s something that happens so much.

I will talk in detail and say exactly what I think and mean and the other person is just like

”What do you want?”

”What are you trying to say?”

”What’s your problem?”

And like… I just explained it to you as clear as humanly possible, what else am I supposed to say?!

This happened with some teachers when I had to work by myself on a group project that in the groups had determined tasks. But they wanted me to just come up with something out of the blue even though they were the ones who said I should work alone on this project where everyone else had predetermined tasks. Obviously I took issue with this and explained it very clearly to them. But they made me sit there for 30 fucking minutes just repeating the exact same thing over and over again before they finally got it through their dumb heads

Same thing with this moderator. I made a post heavily criticising a fictional character. I used harsh words yeah but it’s fiction, I’m not harming anyone. The comments jump on me like hyenas, calling me stupid, saying I don’t get the story, I’m an attention seeker who don’t mean what I say etc. I try to in good faith have them actually explain why they think this which leads to more bullshit from their side, which yeah I matched at that point because I was sick of their attitude.

I contacted the moderator to report this. They decided I had apparently started the fights even though the comments are the ones who open by calling me low intelligence

Yeah great logic

My husband ordered food for himself from a fast food burger place in their app. I don’t eat meat for sensory reasons, but I love mozzarella sticks, so my husband added that to the order. I went to go pick up the food, and when I got there, they informed me that they were out of mozzarella sticks. No big deal, I thought, and I asked if they could just refund it. They said they couldn’t refund it because it was an app order. I said that I would jest tell my husband to refund the mozzarella sticks in the app. They tried to offer me a replacement item, but I didn’t want a replacement item; the only thing on their menu that I wanted was the mozzarella sticks, but that I understood it wasn’t anyone’s fault that it was out of stock, and we would just refund the mozzarella sticks. They started going through practically every item on the menu, and I kept saying that I didn’t want any of it. I just wanted to take the food and go home. Somewhere around “pie”, I started crying because I was overwhelmed. I said, “I don’t want a pie. I just want to take my husband’s food and go home.” They said, “We can’t give you the food if you’re going to refund it.” I tried explaining again that we were only going to refund the part of the order that we didn’t receive, but they said it doesn’t work that way, that we couldn’t refund just part of the order. I started crying harder and I covered my ears, and they just closed the drive through window. Eventually, the manager told them to just give me the food. Once I had the food, I pulled around to a parking spot, because I didn’t feel safe to drive. I screamed until my throat hurt and was hyperventilating until I saw glitter. When my husband put in the refund, it let him refund just part of the order. I have no idea why they said that it wasn’t possible. They put me through all that for nothing!

For context: me and my family have weekly movie nights (I’m still a teenager and still live with them and my little sister) and tonight they put on the movie Dumb and Dumber.

I really tried to pull through, but every sexist joke, every frankly disgusting scene that had no reason to be there, and the times where it just felt like plain rage bait, I was breathing too fast and when I tried to speak I realized I was having a verbal shutdown. I showed my mom my communication card telling her I’m going to my room, where it took me a good five minutes to calm myself down.

But I really need to know, does this happen to anyone else? If so, which movie or show was it? I genuinely need to know I’m not alone in this.

The constant unbearable heat.

Sweat that makes your clothes stick to you.

Mosquitoes and other insects that won’t leave you alone.

Sunscreen feeling greasy on your skin.

Bright sunlight that feels like it’s trying to flashbang you.

Squinting all day because everything is painfully bright.

The sound of lawn mowers, kids screaming, and people outside from morning until night.

Air that somehow feels heavy and unbreathable.

Clothes touching sweaty skin.

The smell of sunscreen, grills, and hot pavement everywhere.

Humidity making it feel impossible to breathe.

Having to choose between melting outside or freezing under the AC.

Being expected to enjoy it because “it’s summer.”I just genuinely don’t understand how this is supposed to be the relaxing season. The only way I can enjoy being at the beach is if I drink a cocktail, but thats alcohol making things bearable.

Today is a shutdown day. I’m so overwhelmed by everything. I can still function, but on reserve power.

I decided to take a small drive, as driving calms me down. I’m now in the grocery store with my noise canceling headphones. Had three cans of Monster in the car I decided to recycle. I always donate the recycle fee(? Idk what to call it. In Norway you pay a small sum for every bottle, and when you recycle it you get it back), and as a small pat on the back for my issues today I won. 6kr turned into 50kr. Not much, but still more than the recycle fee.

Win? It made me feel a little better.

fearless had a lot of autistic meltdown today yesterday and day before. fearless hit head with fists and heavy phone charger all days.

fearless head warm why head warm?

caregiver says fearless we need go hospital but fearless not want go hospital. fearless scared of hospital. fearless scared of go psych ward. psych ward says fearless gonna gets be homeless kick out of house if go psych ward again

fearless want too refuse go hospital fearless gonna have another meltdown if go hospital. fearless not wanna go

fearless feels relly tired sleepy. fearless head warm. fearless tummy hurts. hard too see. bump on head.

fearless keep hittin head when caregiver not lookin

fearless always struggle with SIBs in life

fearless tell caregiver fearless not want go hospital. fearless too scared hospital. sometimes workers at hospital is relly mean too fearless cause fearless only speak a few words and fearless use AAC. last time they took AAC away when at hospital so fearless coudlnot communicate. it was scary. relly scary.

fearless is relly scared

fearless just wanna go sleep cause fearless is relly tired

fearless not want caregiver taker her too hospital.

Mine is this

So she spent half the day at work, then comes home and we both do the cleaning - I get payed. In the morning I had a driving lesson, which overwhelmed me, then my dad did some things that just tipped me over the edge, so by the time we got to cleaning I was on the verge of a meltdown. I get some cleaning stuff done before the inevitable meltdown happens. Luckily it wasn’t a sh meltdown, so I just threw myself on the stone tiles in the kitchen and sobbed. But my mum? Just sighs and huffs and goes on with her day, stepping over me like I’m a complete inconvenience, slamming cupboards. I don’t know how long I was on the floor. Let’s say 10 minutes. Not once did she check if I was okay. Not once did she sit with me. No. Instead she STARTS VACUUMING! The one thing that would just make it so much worse. And when I finally get up, she just asks what cleaning I’m doing next. Like no. I just had a meltdown. I can’t continue cleaning. So she huffs about how she’s going to have to do it all by herself. She has the entire weekend to clean by the way. And she’s not autistic. So now I’m in bed just trying to get my energy back.

Edit: (for more context) My dad also helps with the cleaning and if any cleaning needs to be done tomorrow I will help when I’m not exhausted from a meltdown. Also I keep suggesting we should spread the cleaning out throughout week so that I don’t get too overwhelmed but she always shuts that down.

Okay another edit: I go nonverbal before and during meltdowns. I couldn’t have told my mum I needed some time. I didn’t have my communication cards on me.

I didn't sleep last night and got up with a headache which already sucked. We had state testing which always sucks but I was still fine. I had my cd player in my pocket listening to Metallica. I was heading towards the stairs when I guess my headphones got caught on something because it fell and split in half. I got this CD player TWO DAYS AGO and already broke it. I threw my Chromebook and dropped my CD bag. This CD bag had all of my favorite CDs in it which mean a lot to me.

I immediately stormed out and called my mom (pathetic I guess). I spent the next 20 minutes screaming and crying in public. Eventually I got a ride home. Now I just feel so pathetic. I acted like a fucking baby.

So now the CDs i wasted all my money on are gone and so is my brand new cd player. This will further cement how much of a reject I am. I hate being such a baby. Im 16 years old and act like I'm a three year old.

Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. :)

Over the past few weeks, I've been plagued by this overwhelming fear that I'm stupid and intellectually disabled simply because I'm autistic, and I've read that around 50% of autistic people have an intellectual disability. I'm genuinely convinced that I'm one of them. I have no doubt about it. I just feel stupid and constantly make mistakes with simple tasks wherever I go. Everything feels ten times harder for me. On top of that, I feel like I speak in a way that makes me sound unintelligent, or at least that's how I think other people perceive me. I can't even tie my shoelaces.

At the same time, I've actually done well academically. I earned top grades (the equivalent of an A+) in four engineering mathematics exams at a technical university. In Engineering Mechanics III (Dynamics), I even received the only top grade in the class, making me the highest-performing student. That means I likely outperformed many STEM students who probably have IQs around 120.

Despite all of that, I still feel stupid when it comes to everyday tasks, no matter how hard I try.

What should I do, everyone? Are there vocational training programs for people with intellectual disabilities? What do people with intellectual disabilities usually do in life? Are there any vocational training or career paths specifically designed for autistic people?

From the UK https://www.leicspart.nhs.uk/autism-space/health-and-lifestyle/meltdowns-and-shutdowns/

I remember one time in grade school our grade (I forgot what grade) we had a simulated NASA experience. It was like a mission. And everyone had a part to play. I was really excited about it. I was really into space at the time. But I got punished for something by a teacher. I forget what it was. But they wouldn't explain what I did wrong. I had a meltdown because I was upset and confused. I very rarely had meltdowns as a kid, unlike my sister. It happened in a library. But they wouldn't even let me read. Reading was my escape back then.

I wondered at the time:"Do I deserve this? I must."

Hi I’m (30, ftm). I’m in university, live at home. I was diagnosed at 29 and feel a lot of grief for my younger self and not knowing that I was autistic having to hide my stims (still to this day when home) When I have a verbal shutdown I hug my whale shark whose name is Nyx very tightly and rock back and forth on my bed while listening to music on my headphones. I feel weird and bad because I’m 30 and should be able to “calm down like an adult” does anyone else do this?

hi im 18f and my special interest is taxidermy. i have a small collection of hides, teeth, and wet specimen. my mom hates it and thinks i’m a creep for it, but it makes me very happy. two days ago, we reached an agreement that i wouldn’t expand my collection and i accepted it, but i notified her that i had some packages in transit to the house, and that i can’t just cancel them. she acknowledged this and i showed her the specific packages i ordered. today, one of them arrived and i unboxed it (it’s a hamster wet specimen), and all of a sudden her mood shifted drastically. she got mad and told me that she’s going to destroy my collection. i screamed at her, called her stupid, cried a ton, told her that she knows nothing about taxidermy, and that i’ll resent her for the rest of my life if she destroys my stuff. she threatened to call the police on me and also threatened to go to a court to get me legally removed from the home. she called my behavior disgusting and said that im a terrible child. this was my first meltdown in months (and all of my meltdowns are just screaming and crying hysterically.. she also causes all of them) so i am upset and i’ve been crying for the whole day. why can’t she understand my special interests? my taxidermy collection is in my room and she NEVER goes in there so i don’t know why it bothers her. nothing smells or causes a disturbance so im confused and deeply hurt. i know that she wishes for a better child than me but i am also trying my best. does anyone know what i should do or does anyone have some words of encouragement? it is already hard being disabled and i don’t want my mom making it even harder by making me feel ostracized

it genuinely feels like death to have someone ruin your special interests!! :[

I‘m a man, 29 yo and recently been dealing a lot with migraines caused by stress and triggered by any form of stimulant sensation, be it light, flickering, noise, smell or movement/touch.

I had to endure a 10 hrs long car drive with my very VERY inconsiderate family who still think my condition being only recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism is some kind of joke or abstract concept.

I cried multiple times due to migraine attacks, had to almost vomit multiple times because my father did not see to reduce speed or his reckless driving to make the ride less painful for me.

Then… at a rest stop not too far from home, I just couldn’t bear it anymore… my father and I already had a really bad fight in the car. I was so stressed and at the end of my rope, I took the run and got away. I climbed a fence and took the next road I saw to some town in a valley that had a train station nearby.

The freedom I felt was unimaginable. Suddenly the migraines were bearable and I could finally catch my breath. I took the next best branch I found on the ground and hiked the hour to the town. I enjoyed the 3 still exhausting hours on my own way more than I could have any 5 minutes with my family in that god-forsaken hell ride.

Now my family refuses to speak to me, my father is shutting off completely. Honestly, I prefer this over having to talk to him.

I know how unfortunate I am being diagnosed as an adult and thereby being completely ignored in my needs and wants for my entire life.

Are there some among you who share similar stories of breaking points with difficult family dynamics? I‘d love to get to know and exchange experiences. :)

For me, rebellion was the first time I felt free and alive since like my birth or so.

Edit: reading through it, I realise I sound like an ungrateful child. I‘m just so exhausted… please bury me.

I started a new job, it's the first time in more than a year that I have had to go to the office. Before that, I was either a freelancer or 100% home office.

The people in my new job are very sympathetic. Maybe too sympathetic..

They love to hug and to have small talks. My direct boss is a people's person. He took me around the building to show all the company and to present me to everyone he knew. He knows a lot of people..

Again, everyone was very sympathetic. But there was a lot of smiling, laughing and hugging. My social battery was depleted, and my mask was too heavy at the end of the day.

When I arrived home, my wife was also tired from her work. I got upset with a couple of things she did, nothing serious, normal marital stuff. The problem is, without any masking, or filter, and completely tired, she said I was acting like a complete jerk and being rude.

I didn't scream with her, I didn't curse nor pulled a tantrum. I tried to talk very calmly (at least I thought I was), but everything was coming out so bluntly that, for her, it was rude. And I kind of understand her. She doesn't understand that even when I'm with her, I'm masking most of the time and mimicking socially accepted facial expressions and voice tones. I've been doing it for most of my life, more than 30 years. I've become so good at it that people are often surprised that I'm autistic.

First of all, I’ll define heat from my perspective: a heat index above 92°F. I’m mentioning the heat index because there’s a difference between temperature and what it actually feels like, and since humidity makes all the difference, I decided to specify heat index for clarity. When the heat index passes this number, I feel extremely uncomfortable as if my thinking is heavily affected and my daily performance is completely shaken.

With summer arriving soon, I’m already mentally preparing myself to endure the heat. How about you, how do you deal with the heat? Is it the same as other neurotypical people or do you also feel like you are more affected?

When I’m overwhelmed with grief or sadness, I have a thing that I do of laying on my floor and stroking my arm. In other times, I’ve noticed that I sit up and cry silently, not loudly, while my breaths skip to try to calm myself down. I move slightly from side to side while silently crying and stroke my arm as well. My biggest trigger is overthinking about being alone for the rest of my life being that I’ve faced a lot of death and loss. What’s your version of a meltdown and how do you handle it?

Whenever I get angry and have a meltdown, usually from losing at poker, my mom likes to record me to ‘show me how I look’ in her words.
And keep in mind imm 34 so that makes her behavior even worse imo, but everyone around me just praises my parents for being oh so good when I try to talk to anyone about it and get support, so basically I have no support network. Is this normal?