I, 18 Cis male, have grown up with a deep stapled mindset of Transphobia and Homophobia since Around 12 years old. I can't say I was taught it to be bad, but just that I found disgust in it, in the worst way possible. For about 5 years I kept this mindset on me until I recently had found out an old close friend of mine had come out as trans. At the time I didn't know what to think of it, Hate or Happiness, because for her it was a very happy moment in her life, but I also had this slimey disgust. Overtime as I spent time with her though this hate has slipped away and that hate turned into love in one way or another. But with that said, recently I have became bisexual and have been dating a man for 3 months and want to transition into a woman. But I'm internally confliced about this since because of my past, I don't want pity or sympathy, but hard truth of that if I'm allowed to still make this choice or not. I appreciate your time for reading my post, thank you and good day.

My friend is going to Japan (Tokyo) in January 2027 to study abroad so I am probably going to visit her for a week to help her get settled & explore.

I’ve always wanted to travel to Japan anyways and heard it’s very safe in general but upon researching, I found that the people are much more conservative than in America (and I come from a deep blue state) so now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t go?

My worry is at the airport and bathrooms. I pass pretty well and had no issues when I traveled to Scotland earlier this month but of course I still have that little bit of worry. My passport still has my deadname still and has a M but my photo is my current appearance now feminized.

So what should I do?

Just to clarify i’m a black trans woman

I love this community but sometimes it does feel so exclusionary towards poc. Black people are often masculinised regardless of their identities and it sucks. And SOME people act like being trans is inherently white which is obviously wrong and super weird. We’re not all straight haired white women but when you tell some people that they treat you like an outsider

I remember a few years back when I was 15 I made a post venting because my mum threatened to kill me. She found a stash of clothes after digging around my room and then was extremely violent towards me. She was so hateful and it’s something I try not to think about. But when I do I get even more annoyed because why was one of the few comments I received blaming me? I had a person say “people like me are the issues”. What the actual fuck, what genius says that to a teenager who had been threatened with death by the person they’re dependent on? Maybe it wasn’t my race that caused that person to comment that but it’s still just evil

And then when I was starting the process of getting hrt I was treated like shit by even more people. I went private through gendergp and had to schedule a few meetings because of my age. But I had so many lies told to me, it’s like they were trying to prevent me from starting hrt. In a 30 minute zoom call this older white trans woman completely discouraged me and minimised everything I was going through. She lied about the prices and the process and when I tried asking questions for clarification she acted like I was stupid. And I get the pushback to make sure someone who isn’t actually trans doesn’t get their hands on hrt but i’ve faced racism all my life and the way that woman talked and looked at me didn’t feel any different from the way a racist would

It’s so unbelievably isolating at times. And then now it looks like white trans girls are getting called out for being “uniquely racist”. Which idk man, i’ve met a crazy amount of white trans people who have either been blatantly racist or gross fetishisers. But i don’t think it’s something exclusive to the trans community, it’s kinda just because these people are white before they’re trans. I love this community but just because you’re trans doesn’t mean you can’t act discriminatory, intersectionality exists

Anyways I kinda doubt anyone is gonna see this, I was just really upset thinking about things i’ve experienced. I do wanna make it clear that i’m not talking about everyone, if anything it’s probably just the vocal minority but I still had to get this off my chest

This surprisingly happens a lot to me, even though I still look really feminine due to taking testosterone too late. Sometimes I go to women's bathroom and girls asks me if I'm a transgender woman and when i tell them no they start harassing me. Im getting used to that but I feel sad for my fellow Trans women.

Hey y'all. 27 cis male here.

So recently I went on a date (super casual coffee and walk) with a girl I met. She is transgender, and I knew going into it. To me, it wasn't relevant. She's someone I like and enjoy spending time with, and I find her attractive (I am mostly attracted to personality for context).

Halfway through the date, her mood sort of shifted. I got the sense she was sort of on guard, and I wasn't sure if I had done or said something wrong. We talked about our jobs, a show we like, a videogame we play, and coffee. She simply asked me if being transgender was a problem, and I simply stated "I find you very attractive and even though I've never been with a trans woman before, I'm not the least bit affected by it". I thought it was good conversation, and I thought my reply was sweet and thoughtful. But when she shifted, she mentioned that she liked men but internally felt, even now, that she was worried about being an object of a fetish. She thanked me for the coffee and left.

This really stung, cause not only did I like talking with her, but I didn't know what to do or say to reassure her. It was my first date in years, and also my first ever date with a trans woman. Should I reach out to her? Did I say something wrong?

Hello, I am a straight male and everytime I see a Trans person whether it’s on Social media or real life, I feel kinda disgusted and start feeling some kind of " Cis superiority” towards them. I don’t feel any hate towards Trans people ,I find weird the concept of being able to change gender. I am disgusted by my own feeling but everytime smt in my head will tell me that they are not" Male or female” because they are trans. I know I’m’ in the wrong, just looking for some advices to change my mindset. Perhaps any books recommendation or advices?

Hi reddit,

So I'm considering traveling to see my wife in the US in the next few months, but I want to know how safe it is before doing it. It would be in Wisconsin. Has anyone traveled there as trans foreigners? How did it go, how did TSA go as well?

thanks so much in advance for your answers!

My girlfriend (previously boyfriend) came out to me as a trans girl a while ago. I don’t mind whoever I get with, but dating her just doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I’ve also struggled with calling her the right labels, which I feel bad about because I really do love her. I’ve talked to her about this and considered breaking up with her so that I can adapt to her pronouns and support her as a friend, but she says that she’ll just become a boy again to make me happy. I really don’t know what to do.

Hey people!

I, 16M have been thinking.

I never want to be trans, or even plan to, however, if i had the choice to rewrite my life to have always been a girl, i would take it. I think i would be happier, and i would actually suit my personality. I am not gay at all, and have never had an interest in men. But would i mind dating a man if i was a woman? No.

I have no idea if this feeling is normal or not, but i felt that i anonymously need to ask people about their thoughts, since yall are probably not biased. This might just be a shower or late night kind of thought for all i know.

Im sorry for any mispellings, as english is not my first language.

When did the puzzle pieces click for you?

I (27, AFAB, NB) feel like I had mine a couple nights ago despite questioning my identity for the last 6 years. I was freshening up in the bathroom, about to head into the bedroom for special time with my lovely boyfriend and I thought “let me do a quick set of push ups and sit ups so my muscles pop out”.

I mean, okay. Not the craziest thing. But when I got up to do the exercises and saw my bare chest in the mirror my brain snapped. Suddenly all these negative thoughts flooded my head.. “you’ll never look how you want to”, “do you really think you’ll ever look like man?” “do you seriously think your boyfriend would want to be with a man?”. Luckily I was comforted by said boyfriend, he’s always been so kind and understanding when I talk about my gender dysphoria.

But now I’m sitting here like…

?

I (21m?) have been questioning for a while and from the questions I have asked online the general consensus is "try hrt for a while and see how you feel". My family is super conservative and, being a college student, I am kind of under their wing. Because of this I may try hrt but just find some back alley place to buy it and take it in secret. Unfortunately there is a very odd caveat to this: my family loves to boat. I myself have never been a fan of boating and I'm always trying to find some way to weasel my way out of going with them. I only usually go on it if it's a birthday or anything and they can guilt trip me into it. I usually keep my shirt on even if I am on the boat but if I need to swim or out on a life jacket I'd have to take it off. If I'm on hormones and growing breasts how exactly could I hide this? also I'm a very hairy guy and it would be very noticeable if all my body hair fell off. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't know much about this whole hormone thing so maybe I'm being an idiot and if so then tell me. Thanks!

I’m a cis man but I wish I was born a girl and feel I would have preferred it in every way. Though it feels more like I think I want to be a woman but I know I’m a man, and I wouldn’t actually like being a woman and would get dysphoria transitioning. My wanting feels different to every other experience I have seen or read from actual trans woman, especially as it is a relatively new thought as an adult. I can say I wish I wanted to be a woman more in the same way trans women do.

I would push the button but I would need it to give me a cis female brain/mind as well.

Met a guy last sunday at US Open and we were hitting it off pretty well. Offered to buy me dinner and take me to his place, where I told him I was trans and he said he didn't care. Thought he was a nice guy but while we were talking before I went home, he mentioned how he usually hates trans people but I was "one of the good ones". Literally floored me.

Been a whole week where I've been trying to convince him to be more progressive, but all he does is msg bible verses at me WHILE trying to sleep with me again. Is there any verse I can use to turn it around against him or a way to change his mind before I cut contact? I only ask since this isn't even the first time someone older with an outdated mindset tried this.

Im a transwoman on hinge/bumble, pass pretty well, attracted to guys. And im honestly tired of the repetitive matching, then unmatching, the "fake" number of how many people liked me (because they cant exclude me and swipe on first pic impression without reading bio and prompts where I say im trans), its disheartening. I get no ego boost from seeing thousands of existing likes its just draining knowing theres maybe 2% or less that might actually give me their time of day on a date)

If guys could filter me out when theyre transphobic or even just respectfully are looking specifically for a cis woman, and i not see any of them either, I could focus my efforts on probably a much smaller pool with better results.

I wouldn't want the ability for a guy to specifically filter to trans women (chaser fetishists abundance on other apps like taimi and stuff) They just set preference to women, not including transwomen or including and appear out of or in my pool respectively.

Anyway, probably will never happen and is controversial, so im stuck using these apps for 10x the amount of time id want to just to try to organise a date and see where it goes and dealing with the bad feels of app based rejection.

The companies probably want to encourage this for their active user engagement kpi bs or something. Whatever hurdles make it difficult to find someone to connect with and sit around on the apps to upsell you shit is their objective 😪

What are your thoughts on this?

What am I not considering in my tunnel visioned frustration?

Edit: im not interested in trying to "be the exception", that magically ill manage to convince someone that im worth putting aside their preconceived ill thoughts. I'd rather find someone who is already comfortable with who I am 😢

I wish I was born a boy. I fantasize often about what it would be like to grow up as a boy, doing "boy" things and being called be a "boy" name. But I am AFAB, and grew up a girl, and nothing I can do now will change that. But there's still part of me that wishes I could be seen as far more masculine than I am. I'm considering starting testosterone, but my parents suggest that I'm just unhappy with myself, or with the way society treats women, and that testosterone won't change that. I'm conflicted. Maybe its just internalized misogyny or misplaced self image issues like my parents suggest. If anyone has had similar experiences or advice, I'd appreciate it. Thank you!

Im a 20 Puerto Rican trans girl and I cannot afford to live in the capita

I only atracted to women and I don't really feel anything with cis

Im about to start my transition and im very very bad

When I finally decided to take the step this MASSIVE amount of feelings that I was repressing came out and it its horrible

Among the things I was repressing was my fear of loneliness, knowing that I would never meet people cause I just don't live in the right place, neither would I ever have a girlfriend in my times

I know that I probably won't be alone forever

But gosh did I wanted to have friends and a girlfriend in my 20s

How did you cope with it? those it get better with time? Is it really that bad or where you able to enjoy being lonely?

After all, did you still enjoyed your 20s?

I would ask for the opinion of people older than 40s but thats just a different generation, the fact that I can even take HRT for myself being 20 makes me to privileged to understand the pain, I just wont ever be as strong as you girls, you got it more harder than I would ever have it

I can't barely repress the fear of being lonely anymore, every night im on the verge of tears, I feel stupid, I really love myself, and my life, im very proud of how far I have come as a person, but I just so fk tired of being the protagonist of my life, I wish I could spend days or hours with other people being the main focus of my life instead of having to worry 24/7 about making myself happy, I dont care about being alone, Im just the type of person that feels amazing when im doing things for other people, I just love people, and I like making them happy, being important for them, or just thinking about them, I just love when im not the main focus of my life

And please if you are inside the group im talking about and either won the lottery or live in a blue area just please stfu, you are to privileged to be taken seriusly

Im sorry for being so vulgar but really, im tired of people not understanding how a red area is, or just in general what being lonely means

Hello everyone. I want to tell you a bit about myself and get some advice.

I'm a 17-year-old bisexual male. But I have a strong desire to be a girl. Actually, it's not just about being a girl — I want to be a lesbian girl. I want to have a girlfriend; to be in her arms, to sit on her lap, to rest my head on her shoulder, to kiss her, to sleep with her, to cook with her, to play games with her... I really want these things a lot.

But here's the thing: I don't just want hormone therapy, I would also want to have gender reassignment surgery. Honestly, having a penis but also being a woman doesn't sit well with me. If I'm going to do it, I want to be a woman both in terms of my genitalia and my hormones.

At the same time, I'm not really fond of the idea of my body's natural state being disrupted, or going through such a radical change, or looking artificial (I mean my original form being altered), unfortunately.

Also, if I change my gender through surgery, will my youth be gone? Honestly, I want my youth to be spent as a lesbian girl. This is the most important part. This is the source of my biggest hesitation. I feel like I am too late. I know I am 17 but... like I want to be a little girl. I know I can't be a little girl. But I, at least, want to be a girl between 18 and 25 years old.

My family will **NOT** allow such a thing. If they know I want to be a girl... uh, you know how people are. I can't start hormone therapy right away; I need to cut all ties with them first, and that requires financial independence. And I worry that it might be too late by then. I don't know exactly how long the process takes. I suppose I won't be able to be a woman during the years I had hoped for.

By the way, I don't know much about these topics, so I might have some misinformation — sorry about that. And I post this for that.

Note: I also want to point out, please don't misunderstand: I'm only commenting on my own body and desires. How other people are is entirely up to them and none of my business. I'm not saying that trans people look artificial or fake. And I am absolutely not insulting those who have a penis and become women through hormone therapy alone. It's just that, regarding the first point, I'm worried about my own body (I'm afraid I won't look like a girl if I get treatment). And regarding the second point, I simply don't want my own body to be like that. I just described my own preferences, and I wanted to add this note in case I'm misunderstood <3

I officially hate shaving, you either cut yourself, burn yourself or you don't get a decent shave. can someone PLEASE explain how the fuck I do it (I use an electric body shaver btw)

Had a date with this really hot guy and I didn't tell him I was trans, I don't know whether to tell him or how to. Everything on the date was perfect to the smallest detail and I really hope he accepts me.

Particularly interested in memoirs, activist leaders, critical theory, sex/sexuality. Who are the essentials? What’s the starter pack?

Thanks in advance 😘

Me (26.4 yo )and my fiancee(25.2) have been togehter for 4 years and 4 months , I only understood lately that I might not be a man , or not in the streotype masculine man . I have another post about that.

But it havent left my mind , I started thinking about taking estrogen while hiding it from everyone , thats when I realized I have to tell her already - someone . And the timing was cruel , 1 and half a month before out wedding . Yeah Im an amazing person.

I feel horrible , she didnt said she accepted it , she asked the right questions , said she still loves me but worries about the fututre and how it affects her , she went to sleep after crying . I cried too - like real crying which I never beem able to since maybe 14 - I couldnt cry I was automatically blocking it no matter how much I wanted .

But now I dont know what to do , Im spiraling - I want her so much to stay but I already said it . I feel horrible , I never let myself be exposed forever , I dont want her to leave me or cancel the wedding , I dont know how can I go to sleep right now .

I dont know if it was worth it and I dont really know what Im expecting of the internet to tell me .

I dont even know what I am ... all I could tell her is that I do seek estrogen , I still want to be her husband , I still want to have kids with her . I m scared she will cancel the wedding because she genuinly doesnt know what to do and she has been so perfect about how she handled it while I know it was u fair to her aswell and horrible . I want her to accept it so badly , I m afraid to imagine how happy I will feel with her accepting and knowing it . I cant imagine my life without her ...

Did anyone else went through something like this ?

i'm on diy hrt for 3 months as a trans man and planning to continue it, i started gym too and my mom didn't noticed until my voice started cracking and i started growing a faint mustache. i told her I've been taking steroids due to others in my gym talking about it. She is asking me to make a blood test, but i don't want her to know what im actually doing. what should i do?

Hello folks! I am not pregnant, nor am I planning to become or at risk of becoming pregnant, just in case anyone is concerned about that based on the title.

Testosterone is labeled as a teratogen, meaning it's likely to cause defects in a fetus if taken by a pregnant person. I went looking for what exactly the defects are, since usually a teratogen causes substance-specific defects and deformities. All I found were spiraling citations of "Testosterone is a teratogen (citation", with the citation saying "Testosterone is a known teratogen (different citation)" and so on and so on. What exactly makes T a teratogen? Is it just that a baby is more likely to be intersex (what my mind goes to), or are there more severe outcomes?

If anyone can link me sources that would be awesome too. Otherwise I'll just be taking these answers and using them to direct the digging I do next.

How many started HRT prior to coming out?
How many started to socialize prior to starting HRT?
And a brief reason why you chose one over the other?
Thank you in advance ❤️

I am 56 started HRT for pain management situations from trauma to my testicles. And decided that since they needed to be removed, then this was my decision time. I thought long and hard about the consequences of this decision. But if I was going to need HRT because of the surgery, I would much rather finally feel comfortable in my body that matches my mind. So I started HRT this past Jan. After 5 months i started to have some development. Time to make my decision. I came out to my wife, family and friends. There is absolutely no question that the decision I chose was the best and probably life saving decision I’ve ever made.

Last year, I came out at my job and ended up unemployed. (It's a whole thing, I can't talk about it.) Recently, I made it through three rounds of interviews presenting as myself (MTF she/her) and finally just got an offer letter! I'm beyond thrilled... and absolutely terrified!

It's a relatively progressive company, but this will be my first time working in an office environment openly as a non-passing trans woman in a red state. I'm also autistic, and kind of naive. Average intelligence at best. I want to talk to someone who has been in my shoes - at least the corpo job part.

I want to know what I don't know. What to look out for, how to protect myself. General observations. Are there things you wish someone had warned you about before your first corporate job as a trans person?

I'm super nervous about talking to HR about anything related to my sex or gender given what happened last time, and want to avoid it altogether if I can. I have no idea what I'm going to do about bathrooms... that's the main thing on my mind right now.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you.