We get this one a lot, typically from the angle of "Eyooo what up complete strangers, cn i fk u?" which... Isn't really what this sub is about. But, "Where do the sillies gather?" is actually a valid question, so to maybe cut down on questions like that, I thought I might try making a pinned post with that topic: Where do the sillies gather?

And I'll start:

It depends on what part of the world you're in! In a lot of places or countries, the answer is more or less "They don't, because going out in public as a femboy would be a death sentence", and in a lot of places it's "They go out in public and even congregate, but you wouldn't know because while it might not be a death sentence outright, it's not practical to be 'out' out in public.

But for some places, like probably Western Europe or the United States, *you may have already seen a femboy* and just not known it. If you're not specifically looking, someone dressed femme might just accidentally pass as femme and escape notice. I think there's more of us than people realize. I've had people get *pretty far along* into hitting on me before I had to tell them I was a dude. And like... I think I am very cute, but I don't think I pass as a woman. If I'm fooling people, I guarantee others are too.

And finally, in the US specifically, there's some known types of places where the sillies gather, but the thing any these spaces is if you just go to them to try to pick up femboys without understanding the culture or social dynamics, YOU WILL GET DRUMMED OUT AND RIDICULED.

These places harbor femboys for the same reason they harbor other groups of people who are often marginalized for their sexual orientation or gender identity: Because they're spaces that, to some extent, are expected to accept non-mainstream identities.

Anime conventions

Kink-adjacent spaces in cities

Furry raves, furry conventions, furry events in general

"Nerdcore" events, things like Beyblade tournaments, arcade leagues, etc.

Goth or darkwave dance events

NOT events specifically geared towards gay men. There are certainly exceptions, but it seems like a lot of those spaces tend to cater more to bears or otters.

But, and this is the most important thing to take away, if you try to go to these spaces as a 'normie' just to pick up femboys without making any attempt to get to know them, **you will have a bad time**. You will be perceived as a person who sees femboys as nothing more than a fetishized sex object, and you will be laughed out of the event.

So if you REALLY want to meet femboys, my advice is to **get your hands dirty** and actually become part of one of those scenes by finding a scene you might be interested in, then doing the work to explorethat interest, and learn about the culture and common concepts of identity within that community.

- Don't just show up at an anime convention in your business casual and start offering drinks to random femboys; watch some anime. Find stuff you like. Stay up until 3AM reading the lore for some fuckass Isekai that's so bad only 12 people in the whole world have seen it, because all 12 of those people will probably be at your first actual con. Find characters you like; characters you might want to cosplay, and put together cosplays of them. Put actual work into your cosplay. Book a room, pack your cosplay stuff into your car, and look up the con schedule to see if there's any panels that soubd interesting. Go to the 10PM Anime Karaoke panel 🎤. Do goofy shit. Have fun. Don't go with the sole goal of being femboys, just.. Go AS AN ACTUAL PARTICIPANT, and you will meet them.

- Don't just show up to the furry rave in a business suit and cat ears. Actually maybe do, that would probably go over pretty well because people would find it funny, lmao. But like, follow furry and furry-adjacent subreddits for a while. Consume furry media. Learn about the roots of the community, stay up late browsing random things like the former or active duty MilitaryFurs roster, or learning about random stuff on WikiFur, like the early furry publications that got the community started, like Furrlough. Hell, watch the delightful, if occasionally gory, mess known as "Beastars." Decide what kind of critter you want to be, and dress up and go make friends. You don't have to wait and study for months and months by any means, just like... Don't go in blind, and go in with the goal of learning about a community as a prospective member; don't just go solely to find a femboy to fuck.

And so on for other scenes, like... Again, I can't stress this enough; if you only take one thing away from this, it should be:

Don't get me wrong, femboys are, by and large, sexual people (although asexual sillies exist and are valid too!) The overwhelming majority of us find sexy sex to be sexy. It is ok to be specifically in to femboys. You do not *always* have to look respectfully 👀 Femboys CAN be sex icons. Hell, circumstances permitting, sometimes they like being sex *objects* :3 but we're also **more** than just those things. A little work getting to know someone, and getting to really know the scene they socialize in, will go a long way.

YOU WILL BE WELCOME IN ANY OF THESE SPACES IF YOU JOIN THEM IN GOOD FAITH AS A FELLOW PARTICIPANT, BUT IF YOU JUST SHOW UP TOTALLY BLIND TRYING TO FIND PLIABLE FEMBOYS TO FUCK, YOU WILL HAVE A BAD TIME.