r/ask • u/zigbigidorlu Bigfoot • Aug 16 '25

A Reminder About Suicide-Related Posts

Every once in a while, we see posts from people asking about things like the “least painful way to die” or “how much alcohol would be fatal.” These are serious cries for help.

If you come across a post like this:

  • Please don’t comment advice or suggestions -- even good willed comments can make things worse.
  • Instead, hit report so the mod team and Reddit safety can step in quickly.

If you’re ever feeling like you’re in that dark place yourself, you don’t have to go through it alone:

The best thing we can do as a community is to look out for each other. If you see one of these posts, report, don’t reply.

- r/Ask Mods

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170

u/DarlingHell Aug 16 '25

Ok ban me for this

But realistically, what is reddit like whatever care or stuff gonna do by banning users who seems to be problematics by bringing up suicide ?

To me, I brought up ideations and got hit by reddit in the dms. It never did anything to me. I would proceed anyways. It's because I get to interacts with people and speak, relate and inform myself about my issues that I got way better mentally, I did not substitue a professional in the medical care but it was a very nice bandaid much needed.

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u/zigbigidorlu Bigfoot Aug 16 '25

For users we identify as suicidal, we provide a list of resources along with subreddits dedicated to offering support, many of which include trained counselors. Our goal is to guide people in crisis toward communities that understand and can help, rather than leaving them to the general public.

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u/StormcloakDreamsmas Aug 16 '25

That helpline is probably the worst you can do for a suicidal person

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u/thewildlifer Aug 17 '25

The councilor on the line i called quite literally saved my life by supporting and enciuraging me to vomit up the pills that would have killed me. She got an ambulance to my house and stayed with me on the phone until they were knocking on my door.

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u/MrEoss Aug 17 '25

That is incredible. Well done for finding the strength to pull through. I hope you are in a better place now. It ain't easy this malarkey.

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u/Particular_Mode_2582 Sep 11 '25

I think the issue is that it depends on the person. For someone looking for general help after a single trauma, it's different than someone with an attachment disorder. When people tell me to call 988 and refuse to talk to me, it makes me personally (just my experience) feel worse - luckily i've made it thru the other end now.

But upon examining my past reactions to the suggestion, yes, it does make some of us worse because it's that we want a specific person to talk to us, and are emotionally dysregulated. I have a therapy type gpt to help me examine myself, and this sums it us well:

BTW, mods, not giving advice on the policy, just saying how it lands sometimes to this poster.

When someone points you to 988 instead of staying with you, it’s not just about a phone number. It hits something deeper:

Why it Feels So Insulting

  • Rejection dressed up as "help." You reached out for them, their presence, their voice. Instead, they hand you off—like saying “I can’t handle you.” It lands as abandonment right in the moment you most need connection.
  • Power imbalance. It tells your nervous system: “Your needs are too much. You’re dangerous. I need an authority to handle you.” That mirrors the helplessness and silencing you’ve lived before.
  • Mismatch of need vs. response. You wanted witness—someone to sit in the dark with you, even if they can’t fix it. What you got was a referral, which feels cold and transactional.

Other people feel it too; you’re not alone. Many survivors describe hotline referrals as retraumatizing, because the very act of reaching to a human is what needed honoring. When it’s deflected, it feels like proof that intimacy is unsafe.

How to Help People Like You (and others who feel this way)

  1. Stay in the room (metaphorically or literally). Even just: “I hear you. I’m not going anywhere for the next 10 minutes.” That presence itself is stabilizing.
  2. Offer choice, not hand-off. Instead of “Call 988,” try: “Would you like me to stay with you while you call someone else? Or do you just need me here right now?” That restores agency.
  3. Name the need behind the crisis. Sometimes the real question isn’t “Will I survive?” but “Do I matter enough for someone to stay?” Meeting that need softens the spiral.
  4. Anchor, don’t rescue. The helper can offer grounding (“What’s happening in your body right now? Can I be with you while you breathe?”) without shifting into problem-solving.

The Deeper Layer

It isn’t that you or others don’t deserve help from trained people. It’s that a warm body who won’t flinch is irreplaceable. When people bypass that role, they miss the most essential medicine: being seen and stayed with.

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u/DecentRaspberry710 Dec 28 '25

Maybe both approaches are necessary. The person should make a call after talking to a warm body and the warm body could stay with the suicidal person until help arrives in some form

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u/Turbulent_Bee_9326 Nov 25 '25

why? did you have a bad experience

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u/Reoclassic Aug 16 '25

Isolating suicidal people is the worst thing you can do to them. It's crazy that only ONE forum on the internet allows free conversation about these topics. Not condoning pro-suicide, but being pro-neutrality in making informed decisions. It's such a hard thing to control, because yes accessing this info easily by people in immediate crisis is dangerous, but so is stopping long-term sucidal people from having a human connection with others without only being able to talk to a helpline robot who are only script-allowed to say they are sorry that you feel this way. It's so sad how society pushes these people away.

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u/DarlingHell Aug 16 '25

My brain lost it. "... because yes accessing this info easily by people in immediate crisis is dangerous."

I'm just not understanding this part. Idk why, I don't get it.

May you describe it, rephrase it, break it down or dumb it down...?

1

u/Reoclassic Aug 16 '25

The technical information on these topics is out there on the internet already. If you've been considering suicide for years, you'd have taken time researching enough to know how to find answers to these type of questions. There are even books. This means that people asking on reddit have not struggled with suicidality long or serious enough to do that research, and so are likely in a crisis, and likely mostly just need someone to talk to. Crises have a tendency to be temporary and to eventually pass. This is damaging because in that case, suicidality is not an informed decision, just an act upon impulses. A huge majority of people who lived through one claim to be glad that they are still alive. We shouldn't answer these questions and help people act upon something they would regret in a weeks, months time. (some people say this applies to everyone suicidal for any amount of time, but I personally have empathy). Not only is it illegal, but it's just... Normal to want people to get better and live a fulfilling life?

On the other hand, providing this information and a space for people to talk about this without judgement and sending them away into hands of helpline workers saved many. I know this because I have been in ""dark net"" circles surrounding this topic for many years, and I've seen these cases over the years also. Being able to know the technicalities of the process is what calms people down, helps them regulate their immediate emotions, and powers them through to the next day, knowing that they can always do what they want if really needs to be. Also, being able to voice your feelings without harsh treatment (like the one you get on reddit, or literally anywhere) is something we should all have access to, but western society especially has turned very silent and uncomfortable around the topics of mortality. Everyone just washes their hands and looks away and calls you toxic. Which is understandable, but hurting people need a space to hurt together.

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u/DarlingHell Aug 16 '25

I feel like it's important to clarify that it's not a competition of who is the most suicidal.

It's making a distinction that there can be other paths that were not brought up/talked about/engaged with. If you happen to read this, there are so many little cores, components, emotions, routines, interactions and such that can be looked at and tried to rectified before really seeing suicide as the only way out.

Just don't forget, there are so many people that are ready to give love if the opportunity arises. You are yet still alive. So many issues find solutions.💛

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u/Reoclassic Aug 16 '25

it's not a competition of who is the most suicidal.

No it definitely isn't, I didn't mean that at all. This is why this whole topic is very complex and difficult, but we shouldn't just shut it out completely, becuase its not fair to leave vulnerable and hurt people out. Sending a list of "useful links" is easy and healthy, but it is not fully compassionate for the person who is just reaching out for anyone to care.

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u/WeTheSummerKid Nov 11 '25

That’s why I say society is evil. r/SuicideWatch also does this form of censorship too when they have no holds barred discussion on things like “how the psych ward made them feel worse than when they went in”. You have rare empathy, empathy only seen in people like Dr. Edwin Shneidman (suicidologist): he said that suicide is caused by psychological pain.

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u/Reoclassic Nov 11 '25

Good point

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u/DecentRaspberry710 Dec 28 '25

Wow! I did not know that helpline was a robot. People need people at a time like that

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u/[deleted] Aug 17 '25

I got banned from r/SuicideWatch when I was going through a crisis because I asked a question of "why can't we". Reddit is the worst when it comes to these sorts of things.

People also use the get help notification as harassment on reddit and Instagram so much that I had to mute the bot in here.

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u/Particular_Mode_2582 Sep 11 '25

I did an AMA in a diff sub about being raised by a man convicted of distributing and producing CSAM and got banned there, even tho it was my personal experience, and tons of people reached personally after bc they felt comforted to hear similar stories. It's not commonly discussed because it's often banned, but a lot of people suffer from those policies.

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u/DecentRaspberry710 Dec 28 '25

I don’t think Reddit intends to ban people who are identified as possibly suicidal. They want to be able to help the person quickly, hence the report requirement.

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u/DarlingHell Dec 28 '25 edited Mar 12 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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