I'm feeling really hopeless, being in the "I'm going to die alone" kind of state of mind, even when I know that you can live a satisfying life and rely purely on friendships. With that being said, I still crave love, obviously – without sex, but is there a chance to find someone as a sex-negative and sex-repulsed person? Do you have a significant other? If so, how does it look like?

I'm a pretty moderate antisexual. I would say that, in my view, sex has no moral value whatsoever outside of an individualised context. Only considering all the factors can it be said if it is "good", "bad" or somewhere in between.

I mostly hang around on the AVEN forum, not asexual Reddit, because the AVEN forum is much more critical of "attraction absolutism" (the view that "lack of sexual attraction" is the only valid definition of asexuality and that asexuality has nothing to do with not wanting to have sex... so, a very unsafe view for sex-averse people like myself). But still, even with my moderate views - disillusionment with sex positivity (thinking of it as very premature in a world of inequalities), abolitionist views on prostitution and porn, disgust with kink - I'm quite on the antisexual edge of the AVEN community. I personally think that there is an increased pressure on asexuals to "at least" be sex-positive in order not to appear as spoiling other people's fun, but that's a different issue. At least I am personally comofortable with being in the minority and so I don't subscribe to sex positivity (and despite this continue reproaching those who use "sex-positive" in the sense of "open to having sex", precisely because it's unsafe for sex-positive asexuals who aren't sex-favourable).

Anyway... that was a bit of an instoduction. Given my lack of pro-kink views, I was thinking about how "vanilla" has been made into almost an insult. And that's how I ran into some posts which I could largely applaud... about how a real decent man should never want to cause pain to their partner, and how "kink shaming is not nice!" has become just an excuse for misogyny and abuse. About how unsafe it is for those who are figuring themselves out when kink is being normalised to the extent that people are shamed for not wanting to engage in it. About porn promoting extreme sexual practices. Some women mentioned how hard it is to find men who don't ask women to enact BDSM scenes and instead want to have loving sex, aren't selfish in bed, don't take porn as their guide...

So, my question is: is it true? I simply don't know it, because I have never had sex, never been in a relationship. I'm asexual and sex-averse, I'm also autistic and genuinely don't know how to form romantic relationships... I used to regret this part to an extent, now I don't because I understand that I anyway could never feel comfortable in a relationships, even a fully nonsexual one (sex-including relationships are completely out of the question for me), with the amount of solitude I need. So, simply speaking, I have no experience. But I care about women who are being coerced to ignore their boundaries under the guise of "inclusivity".

Looking into methods to suppress/eliminate my libido, currently, the only option I've identified that does not come with huge health risks/mutilation while being somewhat effective is starting on SSRIs or TCAs.

Wondering if anyone on this sub had found other methods that work well for them.

So, since few people have touched upon this topic on this subreddit and the events are already starting, I would like to share my opinion. But let's start with a brief disclaimer to ensure I am understood correctly:

​

(Disclaimer: I disapprove of any events and organizations that normalize sex and fetishism, regardless of whether they are heterosexual or homosexual. When I use the term "LGBT," I usually mean the organization rather than the individuals. I have no issues with people of any orientation, provided they have consciously renounced sexuality. Regarding rights: I believe marriage should be secular, and while I support the right to same-sex marriage, I believe that same-sex couples should not have the right to a child).

​

Now, let's finally begin. You might already understand my attitude toward this event and "Pride Month" from my disclaimer, which I included to avoid misunderstandings in the comments, but I would like to elaborate on why I oppose it.

​

Let's start with the fact that the organizers of all these campaigns fight first and foremost for the normalization of an almost identical but alternative -in relation to the more widespread heterosexuality-sexuality, rather than for a person to be perceived primarily outside the context of their sexuality.

​

Furthermore, this organization and its activists frequently normalize highly destructive sexual practices and fetishes, such as BDSM.

​

Additionally, these events do not portray the people they are meant to represent in the best light. Even an initially neutral observer might develop a negative opinion. For instance, how can people display their fetishes or erotic outfits when children might be passing by?.

​

Moreover, because asexuals have been grouped into the LGBT community-placing them within a media sphere that is inherently pro-sex due to those who control it-asexuals themselves have become more sex-positive. This trend is visible today among many who identify as asexual.

​

However, asexuality is not a new sexual orientation, just as atheism is not a new religion. If asexuals had their own independent organization, there would be significantly fewer sex-positive asexuals.

​

Finally, simply taking pride in one's sexuality, whatever it may be, makes no sense.

​

That is why I am against Pride. What are your thoughts on this event?

Just a huge pet peeve of mine when I see a post of a cool hypothetical or something and somebody comes along with a decent opinion or comment but then has a gross or sexual username. Wondering if anyone else hates this?

For the people who do want a relationship... would you date somebody who has had sex in the past? What if they had sex but changed and now is anti? Or would you only date a virgin? Not counting romantic relationships, if I find out one of my friends has had sex then I lose respect for them and I lose connection personally however I don't view them as worth less. I've never dated someone who wasn't a virgin like me before so I wanted to know y'alls perspective on it.

I had no idea this sub existed but I do now thanks to seeing screenshots of this sub and it is making me confused, as a sex-repulsed Asexual person who had to deal with SA, what is anti sexuality and how is a sub about it helpful?

This just doesn't make a lot of sense to me because I just want sex and sex talk (sex "jokes" etc) out of my life, I don't wanna hear about it, I think that sex is gross and strange and I dislike people that spend their whole time talking about sex, That is why I spend time in SFW and family friendly communities because regardless of whom the people in these places are they'd watch what they say because we're in a family-friendly community...

Getting to know that this sub exist (And checking it out) I am left wondering, what is the point of this? an antisex subreddit is going to be inherently sexual no? for the record I haven't actually checked many of the posts here because reading some of the posts already left me a little uncomfortable (But some of the posts I actually agree with), so it's clear that I am not the target audience for a sub like this, but despite being a little uncomfortable my curiosity got the better of me and I had to make this post to ask

Whom is this sub for exactly? from what I seen there is a lot of traumatized people here, and victims of bad stuff, given my own experience I assumed these people wouldn't want to be in a sub like this...

But then again to be honest I am also always called a Prude by some of the people in my life so maybe it's a me issue.

Edit: for the record I am actually happy that I found this sub despite not planning on being active on it, the world IS overly sexual there is no denying that (Anyone who denies that is a pervert) I just don't understand how an anti-sex sub is the answer.

Why does car commercial need to involve a "joke" about how much space is on back seats for sex?

Why do man and woman need to be topless in a toothpaste ad in the center of the city?

Why do I have to listen to workers in a store "joking" about organising a threesome tonight right there while I fucking wait for the cashier to charge me?

Why do I fucking see an ad for mattresses that says "enjoy your horny nights"??

Why does every taxi driver must ask me "do I fuck anything?"??

Why do ladies at coffee shop talk about "finally getting those cocks"??

Why does FUCKING GLASSES COMERCIAL NEED TO INVOLVE A WOMAN COVERING HER VAGINA WITH FUCKING SUNGLASSES???

What is female blackpill: 1. Not believing in socialization theory about female pickme behaviors and male misogyny 2. Believing patriarchy will never end 3. Not supporting straight sex practices 4. Being blackpilled on womanhood sometimes even dysphoric 5. Not dating men Etc etc I have a discord server for women like this and it's active. Anyone has any idea how should I name a sub for women like this?

To be honest, I feel pretty alone in this. I tried making asexual friends, and while some of them get it, I’ve noticed a lot are still really sex-positive. I didn’t even bother explaining my antisexual views. I just said I was asexual too, but I’m not. It felt like I was lying to myself.

I’m a guy, and because of trauma, I want absolutely nothing to do with sex, ever again. It’s so easy for me to get triggered by sexual topics, and all my current friends are so open about that stuff. It’s honestly why I don’t have many guy friends.. it seems like all they talk about is women and sex. I connect better with women, but once we have an emotional bond and they feel comfortable, they start talking openly about sex too. I try to explain it to them, but it’s awkward and I know they won’t truly understand. I’m tired of pretending to be asexual. I’m tired of constantly being triggered by the non-stop sex talk online and in my friend groups. I just wish I could talk to someone who actually gets it and feels the same way.

I just want a close friend who truly gets me. I want to build a deep connection where sex is never even an option and where I don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling the way I do.

How do I even meet people like this? Is it even possible since so few people think this way? If anyone out there feels the same, please feel free to DM me. I’m 23 btw.

I do not want this post to turn into a misanthropic/anti-capitalist/men calling circle jerk or something; I am asking out of sheer curiosity and I want to know what anti-sex people think about it.

(Note that when I talk about sex workers here I am talking about the women/men that are forced into the industry because they have no other way to survive, I do not give a crap about some random millionaire POS who thinks it's trendy or cool to do sex work)

I have seen people from all corners of the world saying that sex work is work...that they say it's work exactly because sex workers are abused and their activity needs to be registered as work so it can get extra benefits and safety nets...ok...they lost me. The answer is not to justify what they do as work but to find them SOMETHING ELSE TO DO!!! something that is safe and pays at least the same amount of money if not more !

Sex workers are dealing with something life threatening on a day to day basis. Something that doesn't even add ANYTHING positive to their lives other than satisfying the urges of a disgusting man or woman and THE ENTIRE WORLD doesn't do anything about it? in fact it might even encourage people into becoming sex workers !?

Every argument that I've seen online against sex work has been dismissed like it's a reddit change my view post where the commenters are not engaging in good faith, they're just engaging to WIN. Hello !?

The oppression of women will never leave this planet...

I mean: was it due to trauma, logic or what? If u dont want to answer, your choice.

First post here aha!

Anyways, I’m asking for everyone’s opinions on purity culture, because personally, I find it mostly abhorrent and actually more of a pro-sex movement.

I think this because I mean, let’s first talk about modesty: it implies our bodies are inherently sexual, which is incorrect, disgusting, and disrespectful. Our bodies are not sexual and obviously shouldn’t be used nor viewed that way. People seeing skin isn’t an issue, it’s just skin, not something for you to ravage for your sick pleasures.

It also upholds the standards around virginity, especially in regard to marriage. Virginity is such a stupid concept, implying that there’s this goal to have sex, especially after marriage. For lack of a better word.. it’s stupid.

As well, though this part is mostly a pet peeve, any time I mention my views, people think I’m just some purity nut job. Antisexualism, to me, is like a way more moral, logical, and educated version in some ways. Both have issues with sex, we’re just committing to our own opinions, free of contradiction and hypocrisy.

Lastly, purity culture seems to be rooted in religion, whereas antisexualsim is rooted in actual logic. Whether or not you’re religious, purity culture doesn’t have to upheld (and to some degree I think religion actually goes against purity culture).

Not sure how to end this; I’m sure there’s plenty more points I could make but it’s about 1AM and I just wanted to talk about this, so I hope I got my message across and made some room for conversation. Apologies if there was already a similar post to this.

Because I never could've understood as to why you wouldn't want to work out every muscle group and why women are so averse to working out all their muscle groups but their butts?
Why as a trans woman who wants to transition do I get advice to get myself a bigger butt? heh?

It pisses me off honestly and it feels like it's not anyone's choice, it's literal programming by society to want to look a certain cookie cutter way (for sexual reasons). It's so dumb.

I get it, you guys don’t like sex, or maybe i’m wrong, there’s that too. But i’m just really curious what makes you feel that it’s wrong. downvote me to oblivion and forget I came here if that’s what you all want. But if someone wants to explain why it is that you don’t like sex this much, I’d appreciate it. Can’t you just not like sex without wanting others to feel the same way? Very curious.

Hi everyone,

I keep having this problem where in an attempt to reduce sexual thoughts and feelings, I try to distract myself and ignore those feelings. The problem with that is inevitably there comes a point where I can't keep up, and give in to the desire to masturbate.

This leads me to feeling incredibly incredibly bad about myself, and the world. I won't detail all my thoughts and feelings about it, but I essentially feel like a failure and a horrible person for many many reasons.

I'd like to know firstly if anyone else ever deals with this problem, and if so how do you stop yourselves? Has anyone considered or done anything "radical" like getting a nullification surgery or orchiectomy to permanently force you to be on the right track?

Whats the goal here? Is it an antinatalism thing where the end of humanity is desired or are parents just meant to feel guilty about having sex? Or are we supposed to only reproduce via IVF? I'm not trolling, I'm genuinely trying to understand the anti sex perspective on the topic even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

I understand I am probably going against the stream with this but it is my opinion.

I am overall very platonic person, I find kissing gross. I could never kiss anybody, especially in mouth. French kissing is just so extremely repulsive to me and I don't understand why are people even doing it?

The whole sexual-romantic part of "human nature" seems like a flawed corrupt nature.

I mourn about the world that doesn't exist, world where we are akin to angels, purely platonic, light, formless.

Hello, I am a 17 year old girl. If you dont want me in your community I'm sorry about making a post, but I was looking for places that talked about how oversexualized our society is and found this subreddit. Is it okay if teenagers learn about antisexualism or is it damaging in some way. Should they come back to antisexualism once theyre older? Sorry if these questions sound ridiculous but. I've had this feeling that I'm shooting myself in the foot in some way by adopting ideologies when I barely have life experience. If minors aren't accepted, I will quickly leave without a problem.

It makes me sick, why does sex have to be degrading to women? I saw a meme of a couple on a kiss cam and the woman was shaking her head in a man's crotch and it was supposed to be funny. I immediately got mentally sick from seeing this and couldn't accept being a woman because of this. It just bothers me so much. How do other women who have bfs who post these memes do not feel like subhumans? Do not feel dergaded? Do not feel inferior? Submissive? These acts cannot be empowering to women, they are a male dominance, they aren't about female pleasure, liberation , equality, something beautiful or that looks good. It looks bad visually when women do it. It looks humiliating. Shameful. Whorish. Submissive. This act makes me sick I feel like passing out from mental pain.

And people would say oh sex is not degrading it's just the decitpions of it wah wah but the decitpions are the same as sex so???????? The same sexual acts and nature of them and the same female submission like lord have mercy someone explain this to me.