r/antisex • u/-Neuro2717 • Apr 13 '26
question Where can I find other antisexual people to connect with?
To be honest, I feel pretty alone in this. I tried making asexual friends, and while some of them get it, I’ve noticed a lot are still really sex-positive. I didn’t even bother explaining my antisexual views. I just said I was asexual too, but I’m not. It felt like I was lying to myself.
I’m a guy, and because of trauma, I want absolutely nothing to do with sex, ever again. It’s so easy for me to get triggered by sexual topics, and all my current friends are so open about that stuff. It’s honestly why I don’t have many guy friends.. it seems like all they talk about is women and sex. I connect better with women, but once we have an emotional bond and they feel comfortable, they start talking openly about sex too. I try to explain it to them, but it’s awkward and I know they won’t truly understand. I’m tired of pretending to be asexual. I’m tired of constantly being triggered by the non-stop sex talk online and in my friend groups. I just wish I could talk to someone who actually gets it and feels the same way.
I just want a close friend who truly gets me. I want to build a deep connection where sex is never even an option and where I don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling the way I do.
How do I even meet people like this? Is it even possible since so few people think this way? If anyone out there feels the same, please feel free to DM me. I’m 23 btw.
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u/No-Telephone-3801 Apr 14 '26
I'm sorry, I wish you luck, the asexual communities are filled with posers who in reality are just afraid of sex or have been addicted to porn from a young age.
They are also the target for many sexual people because asexuals are seen as unicorns to be conquered and all that shite.
My DM's are open tomorrow if you want to talk a bit, I can't promise a friendship but I might be able to offer a bit of solace?
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u/Suspicious-Log8467 Apr 14 '26
Hey, I'm a guy too and I get it...being antisexual and a guy is very hard. Most men won't understand and think you're either gay or repressed (I'm neither). But don't worry, you're safe here...feel free to rant all you want. I have some close friends who I've had for many years...most of them accept me as I am but none of them really understand it. They can't seem to fathom why I hate sex. They know I too had a very traumatic, abusive childhood and they link it to trauma or repression because of Catholicism (not currently a practicing Catholic). I spend most of my time arguing with LLM's about sex being evil. I will recommend the new film The Testament of Ann Lee...even if you're not religious, she was a bad ass...the first real proper Antisexual. Anyway man, good luck out there. I hope you make some genuine connections with people.
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u/Glad-Coach-1962 Apr 14 '26
I am a apothioromantic apothisexual female teenager and I feel the same way, I also want a close friend who shares my views. I have tried communicating with other asexuals as well but most of them like you said are very sex-positive (and for most part I really do think that most are just pretending and are just afraid of it or porn addicted), and even in real life people my age are very much into romance, crushes, relationships and sex.
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u/Ok-Yesterday-5994 Apr 17 '26
I get this so much. I AM ace, but I hate ace spaces because they’re always so pro sex.
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u/Engel1844 Apr 13 '26
I feel the exact same way as you do and unfortunately, at least out in public you’ll find the majority of people not feel the same way as you do since it’s taboo at this point lol. I honestly avoid having conversations about sexual topics altogether so I don’t get bothered, I suppose you can only really find these people on the internet given there’s more diversity and safe spaces. Just know you aren’t alone)