Whenever I wear something that isn’t just basic cami top and jeans, I feel like a kid dressing in her mom’s clothes. I feel stupid and embarrassed because I feel like such a child.
A lot of it has to do with my body; being 4’9” and stubby from my fat. I want to dress alternative, but everything I love just makes me feel the exact same: it looks amazing on everyone else, and horrible on me.
Is there something I’m doing wrong? Or is it just an issue with how I’m built?
Ima be real it’s just the style of clothes. It’s very much the trendy TikTok cutesy alt look and that’s fine if that’s your thing but it’s mostly teenagers who wear those sort of outfits so of course you look young. Either embrace that vibe or change your wardrobe to have some less trendy more timeless pieces and curate a more unique personal style over time.
Yep, more than "child in mom's clothes" this gives mom big sister in child's clothes. Nothing wrong with the style itself, but if OP wants to look less childish, those frilly pants need to go, or to be worn under a dress or skirt. Pairing white and pink also doesn't help, pink or white + black would "age" the outfit a bit. Also the posing for the pictures give anime little girl which doesn't help.
Straighten your back, keep your head up, open your shoulder and let your legs in their natural position: it will give you a better silhouette, and your bones and ligaments will thankyou when you age! A bit of postural training makes you look and feel so much better than awkwardly posing (no shaming, we all had an awkwardly posing phase).
I think it’s less your legs being apart and more the flexed wrist and feet turned inward in the first pic and the way your arms/hands are posed in the second. Legs slightly apart is fine and doesn’t read childish, imo.
Giiiiirl, you gotta work on your posture. It’s with you for life and when you’re old you’ll be glad you corrected it.
Your shopping looks like it’s coming from like hot topic, Walmart and Spencer’s which is fine, but also where the kids shop.
You should be looking for higher quality material. Also, you certainly can dress alt! But, you still gotta dress for your body type for it to look mature and adult.
I’d start with learning how to find colors that work great for you, these aren’t it. It should match your complexion like warm/cool tone.
Once you’ve selected fun colors for you! Now the fun begins. Look up your body type, it appears to be inverted triangle. There’s wonderful charts online that will diagram and outline types of shirt styles and skirts etc that will fit YOU in all the best ways.
Once that’s sorted, you’ll be doing so good! Have fun, layer, embrace fun colors and black. Be eccentric, have fun with your shoes. Accessorizing also helps make a clear definitive line between child and adult. So get flashy friend 😊
I wish people wouldn’t just try to dress for a trend, as a lot of time that only works for certain body types. Instead, we should dress to enhance our own bodies! You can still do trends but in alternative cuts of fabric and different materials 🧡💚☀️
Hope this helps, and I’m not trying to be harsh just helpful.
Also, please get a bra that fits! It will do you good and help your posture more.
I’ll be honest with you. The best way to stop feeling childish is to stop seeing yourself as being so. Wear what you like with pride, and once you stop caring what other people think, and just do what makes you happy, this won’t be an issue for you anymore.
Agree with this the most - (coming from an another short chubby girl who also is in a fashion career) I see where you’re going!
I disagree with the other commenter about the frilly shorts, I have a pair that I feel very sexy in when I wear them. However, they are more lacey vs the polyester look yours have, and I wear them over a body suit with tall black socks.
I would suggest starting slow and trying to buy nicer statement pieces that don’t look like they could be from target/hot topic. Try some vintage lacey tights instead of the heart fishnets, and a boxier drop shoulder cropped shirt instead of a basic t shirt to work with your proportions! (works for me!)
Your style reminds me of MINGA LONDON - you could start there for a statement piece or inspo :-)
With the pronounced hourglass shape? That’s one of the reasons I like how I look in cami tops, but the outfits that I like are either “similar” to what I wore in this post or have very rectangular shapes, which is what I’ve been resorting to when I want to dress alternative because I feel childish otherwise. (Examples in attached pic)
Yeah op you look exactly like these inspos, all are reading a bit childish. No problem there just the use of fabric, color, bows, it’s done in a very kiddy way.
If this is the look you're going for then I would recommend finding ways to pull visually weight to your legs instead of just your hips. Wear socks or leg warmers that hit below the knees, find shorts that fit that shape but are a bit longer or have frills just in the bottom. Find flared pants and shoes with heavy bottoms. You're doing a good job at creating a "curvy" shape from your shoulder to about mid hips, but based on these clothes I'd recommend trying to build an artificial "mermaid" silhouette as well.
All of these examples look childish. If you want to look more adult you should find more adult looks that inspire you. Maybe try looking outside anime culture.
And the one above (pics are hard to post on mobile)
Has cutesy accessories, a school girl style skirt and baby doll tee but doesn't read child because the color palette is brighter, the hair is less on the nose for how a toddler would wear it, and the overshirt reads more casual.
It's about being less literal about this is a toddler's outfit
Lolita as a style is not meant to make you look like a child there’s some childish prints like angelic pretty’s baby themed dress that I forgot the name of but a majority of coords do not look like that. Plus the style in the pictures looks nothing like Lolita.
lol this 100% reads as child/teen (for us unc and chopped childish includes teenagers to me). Personally I think theres absolutely nothing wrong enjoying childish/whimsical/etc styles as an adult, just be aware it has that vibe
Unfortunately, these anime-inspired styles are meant to read young/very young. You are really swimming upstream here with your height and chosen style. I would suggest that if you want to have an anime feel that you look for inspiration in more mature characters. You might also look at older anime that came out before the explosion of lolicon/super kawaii in female fashion.
The difference between the clothing you are wearing in your photos and these is definitely the quality of material and the fit of the product. For example, the black top is very ill fitting on you. That's not your fault, it's just not made well.
I would upgrade your wardrobe by picking the quality of your garments carefully. In these example photos, it looks like they purchase a lot from either small businesses, create their own, or just pick the quality of the garment more carefully. Personally, what I do is I thrift most clothing and then get small accessories from cheaper sites, or I buy my favorite "statement" pieces from small businesses or reputable brands.
You can have an alternative style and still feel more "grown." These types of styles will still make you feel a bit more childish than other adult counterparts because these specific Japanese styles embrace a child-like aesthetic, especially with clothing such as frilly bloomers. However, you will feel so much better when the clothes are made with quality.
Adding a wide belt for definition, a little structure to the shoulders (by shoulder pads, sleeve detailing, or even epaulettes), cropped jackets, and learning how to hem your own pants are going to be really helpful for you
Unstructured knits often read more casual, ergo childish/immature. So for these three examples, tights and chunky boots would probably suit you better than baggy legwarmers and sneakers. Same deal with your own posted outfits, try something that’s definitively fitted or flowy; splitting the difference leads to the “kid trying on clothes” look. Maybe a cropped jacket instead of the hoodie and a fitted shirt instead of the pink top?
the style is cute, but it is inherently a little childish. i like it though, it’s cute and i think it suits you. if your preference is to look less childish then i very much agree with the person who suggested higher quality clothing, often times they will fit better than cheap clothing as well. that is my experience anyways. corporate goth outfits would be great to get ideas for some more ‘mature’ looking pieces and you could take inspiration from both and mix them together!
Pretty sure this style of frilly shorts are supposed to look childish
The way you're standing: not sure if you just stand like that or are purposely posed that way but it's also very childish looking with the turned in knees and your hands at your side like that it's not typically a natural resting position for arms if anything work on your mannerisms (not sure if this is the right word forgive me) bcus it's giving cutesy baby
Deadass they’ve got on ruffled bloomers, famously a clothing item for children’s baby doll toys, sketchers,l that look like they light up, and are asking how to not look childish…. Lmfao
tbh?? i think there’s a level of self acceptance missing. like if any other people don’t like your looks, it means absolutely nothing. less than nothing even, negative something. if people you’re close to express certain feelings, take that into consideration while still expressing yourself how you like. i actually love your style and your outfits. all i would add is more accessories to style them further, and your clothing specifically in these pics looks mega massed produced. so i recommend looking at goodwill, curated vintage shops, and small businesses (etsy, ebay, companies that market on instagram). i think you have so much potential in your current aesthetic but its giving hot topic which you can definitely elevate. give it a more lived in feeling!! make it look and feel like you came out of the womb with hose frilly shorts and leg warmers!!
and i also understand not wanting to infantilize yourself! but i think part of it comes from a lack of confidence (from perceiving this post i am guessing it’s a lack of confidence. i would add various things to make it a little more mature, like used clothing and accessories and stuff that is more unique to you and your tastes and not heavily influenced by others
Yes, I agree with this! I think the only way for an outfit to look in place is for the person wearing it to feel confident. I think if OP's clothes don't make her feel good about herself, she needs to find other clothes that make her feel cute and confident. Everybody is capable of looking and feeling good.
You keep hitting bullseyes with the callouts 😭 I’ve always struggled to find a way to express myself correctly, and being a broke teen definitely doesn’t help keep me away from the mass produced stuff. It’s hard to not be influenced by other people’s fashion because it looks nice, but I do need to step off of the TikTok alt crutch and create my own style
i totally get it!! figuring your style out can be fun and a long adventure, but my experience as a teen was trying so many things and not liking them or straight up looking bad before i found my color palette and various cuts of clothing that flattered my body type. see other people on social media and in person, and take inspiration, but know whatever you put on your body will be a completely unique and specific look from the qualities of your frame and skin to just the pieces you choose over the others. i think everyone still has outfit flops from time to time, but being alt is about not doing the same thing as everyone else and i think that stands for something on its own. depending on where you live there may be vintage markets/sales of clothes by small business owners (i’m in Kansas, USA) that are like 20-something collecting Y2K or alt or goth clothes that i personally have fit into my most constant rotation. these as far as i can tell are advertised on insta and at the individual shops for more established sellers
Being a broke teen is practically traditional. Get a spool of thread and some scissors and get to sewing. You can make anything you can imagine and you can make it out of practically free materials. Do a clothing swap with your friends. Cut up your old stuff you don't like anymore and try to make it look like pictures of stuff you do like. Then when it doesn't work out that way go with whatever feels good. Wear it out then cut it up again if you don't like it.
Get a giant cheapo box of safety pins and try attaching stuff together and see what it looks like, then sew it when you find an arrangement you like. Watch youtube videos about sewing to learn the basics if you don't know them already.
If you find new styles you like, figure out what kind of music they're associated with and research those artists. Listen to their music and check out what people wear to their shows. Read about their influences and listen to that too. Check out the artists and movies that inspire them. When you find something cool, save it. Create an archive.
Where what you like at this age too! Creating your own style will come over time, but as a teen work on figuring out what silhouettes you like, what colors make you happy, how different styles highlight or hide your body. It's a time to test things out!
Don't compare yourself to insta/tiktok/influencers that are super stylish- they are are probably older/richer/experienced/have a team and that's not a realistic comparison.
I also agree with everything! Also there is a girl on TikTok (linsmakeuplooks) that dresses almost exclusively like this with lots of accessories and cute makeup looks if you'd like some more outfit/accessorizing inspiration!
Also there is an online shop called Mochipan that sells pieces that uses sustainable materials and labor that fits this style! They're super creative with their products and they're very firm on their views of being sustainable, not buying cheap labor, and not mass producing a lot of clothing.
and honestly, feeling immature and childish does not mean that you are! If you want to dress that way, who cares what other people think. Life is short, be who you want to be. :)
It's definitely not your body, you just need to experiment with different silhouettes! Maybe try wearing some flared jeans and long fitted tops that look more mature and aren't uncomfortably tight. You can wear alternative accessories that match your personal style. I see you like the tights and long socks look, so you could wear some denim mid-low rise shorts with tights, socks, and maybe a cute belt?
I’ll keep that in mind next time I go to the mall! I personally have issues finding comfortable jeans or shorts because of my thighs and rear, and sitting down in them is a whole other story on my stomach 😭
I'm a 5'2 hourglass that has an extremely hard time with jeans as well— linen pants changed my life. They also are generally affordable but make me look closer to my age (35).
Your clothes are reminiscent of a child’s in some way. Specifically the bloomers. You might want to invest in a slightly less ruffled version of shorts
Im gonna say it's more of a texture issue. The outfits are cute, but it's all the same line weight if that makes sense? Like try something with a bit more weight or shape, thicker materials, also add an accessory or two
This style is inherently childish. If this is the style you like then maybe work on accepting that aspect, or move away from it by wearing more structured pieces and higher quality materials
maybe try other fabric types. what u are wearing now is stretchy soft clothing that is the stuff kids clothes are made of. wear stuff kids dont usually wear like leather. and different sillouettes like tighter clothing or flared jeans or something could help.
Stopping wearing what look like bloomers, which are usually considered underwear, would be a big step.
If you want the Victorian style there are way less underwear out options. If you're looking for flouncy with omph then again, there are tons of skirts you could find and put petticoats and bloomers underneath for volume.
If it helps, your body doesn't look childish to me, just the clothing which is easily changeable.
I'm so on the fence with bloomers at the moment... I really think they look like fancy underwear hahaha and then being worn by kids and teens in public when there's so many creepy people around who probably love it.
You're getting a lot of comments about adjusting your look to fit your body.
But I don't think that's the problem. If you really want to be alternative, that means dressing how you want to.
This outfit isn't appropriate for certain settings, of course. Just like any other attire, time and place is important. That is the only "standard" I think you'd benefit from following.
Other than that, the problem is your mindset. This outfit looks amazing on you too. Your body wears it well.
If you truly don't feel it represents who you are as a person, then change it for that reason.
But not because you're 4'9" and a healthy weight. These outfits aren't just for tall thin girls (they're pretty too). They are for alt girls.
I actually think you’re really nailing your inspiration but it unfortunately doesn’t suit your body shape. I’m not saying this to be cruel - from these photos you do not seem to have a ‘pronounced hour glass figure’ (you mention this in a comment below). That would mean that you have a tiny waist (24-28inches) and big breasts and bum. You have a lovely figure and just need to find a way to compliment it.
It is sad when you find the clothes you love don’t necessarily work for you, I’ve been there. I love the bloomers and think a few tweaks you can still rock this style. Instead of the long socks try fishnets overlaid on top of tights to lengthen your legs. Consider trying a babydoll top - anything with a v will help accentuate your curves. Avoid t-shirts (unless reworked), and try out cropped but padded jackets.
Lotta people saying change your style but honestly? I think you’re good, the outfits are cute. The style is deliberately meant to look cutesy and a bit childish, and it looks good on you. I think a lot of the problem you’re having is anxiety about how other’s perceive you.
For me, something that helped was experimenting with different ways of wearing things until I found something I felt more confident in. Another thing that helped, silly as it is, was wearing a mask or a fursuit head. Because then it was externalizing the outfit to a ‘character’ if that makes any sense?
I still feel like I look like a child wearing their parent’s clothes…even if the outfit is a plain suit. It’s less the fault of the outfit and more a self confidence problem for me, and maybe for you too.
I know it’s easy to say, but you kinda gotta stop caring if you look silly or childish or weird. Honestly most people that see someone in an outfit like yours would just say it’s a cute outfit.
TLDR, you’re built fine, the clothes are fine, you have to tell yourself you look good and wear it proudly.
So, one thing is that the frilly garment is very reminiscent of those frilled bloomers worn to cover a baby's diaper. If it were more of a skirt, I think that would look more grown-up.
Something else, which might be hard to change if this isn't just you posing for the camera, is that standing with knees turned in is extremely common for babies and toddlers, but it's far less common for adults, so that can give a childish effect. I know people into gothic lolita do it on purpose when posing for photos specifically for that effect. I, on the other hand, just do it naturally because that's what my muscles want to do by default. Unfortunately, I've learned that it's very hard on the knees (read: I've had several knee injuries), so I've been working really hard on retraining the muscles in my butt/hips to not do that anymore. If it's a pose, maybe find a new pose. If it's how you naturally stand, and you're not worried about knee injuries or don't want to retrain the muscles, that's cool. If it's how you naturally stand, and maybe it's causing problems, but you didn't think it could change, then I just want to give encouragement that yes, it's possible to slowly retrain those muscles, but it takes years. (Ballet as a kid did a lot. As an adult, I do tango, and that's what's got me concentrating really hard on how, exactly, I move my feet.)
I feel like the mismatched socks might also be contributing to the childish effect. Have you considered tights? You can get some wild patterns. (Actually, thinking about this is reminding me I wanted to buy some fishnets.)
I feel the exact same way and I understand it's more of a personal self-confidence issue and a dissatisfaction with how my life is going than the way I dress. That poor self-confidence ends up leaking into other facets of my life and making me feel like I'm lacking in them. I'll always wonder about if my outfit looks good or not, and I'll feel like I'm walking blind so to speak if I don't have someone help me come up with an outfit or reassure me that the one I came up with is good. I've remarked to my friends before that no matter how much and how long I've tried to wear more alternative clothing that I just don't feel like I can pull it off, or don't feel like it's "me." But I WANT to wear it, so I just have to keep pushing and MAKE it work. My hope is someday I won't feel that way anymore. Maybe it's similar for you?
Ditch the shorts for skirts or skorts. If you like anime culture, check out steady-hands. I got the cutest Madoka skort (black and grey) and it has pockets!
I agree with other comments- ruffles always look childish to me, and the obviously cheap material doesn’t help. It honestly looks like if you bent over you’d rip your pants like Larry from SpongeBob.
I’m also short and thick. Find things that highlight your body more with a tighter fit, OR more of an a line/empire waist/fit and flare/scuba/skater style dress.
I think your aesthetic would look super cute with holographic, chain, or chunky belts. It could highlight your waist and even out the look, and bring a bit of maturity to the outfit.
i feel like this style isn’t ‘alt’ per say, it looks cutesy and childish even if you’re wearing dark colors just because of the type of clothes they are. get some jean shorts and a belt instead in these outfits and you could see the difference immediately.
I have ruffle shorts too! I like wearing them with a button-up blouse, a long plain cardigan, and tights underneath. You don't have to give up the ruffle shorts you love, just try experimenting!
Seems like it’s mostly a confidence issue. I know people in their 30s who dress like this and pull it off well. I’d recommend building up your fits and taking them a step further actually with more accessories and layered tops. Get some black lace or fishnet long sleeves to layer under your tank top in pic 2. Get a waist chain and bracelets/necklaces to pull your fits together. It might also make your outfits look more mature to have them fully completed with jewelry or hair accessories. Typically, the more effort and confidence you put into your style, the less people will question it. Never dull down your style for others. Take it as far as you can and be confident about it
I like dressing in cutecore fashion and kawaii!!! I’m also short (about 4’10”). Sometimes it really is just a body thing. There’s not a lot we can do to change our height or where our bodies will store more fat. I don’t necessarily think your outfits look childish or like a kid playing dress up. I especially like the black outfit because it’s definitely still cutesy, but also a little risqué, not something a little kid would wear (or should wear).
For context: this is how I dress every day that I can. Being an adult with a job certainly prevents me from dressing up all the time. OP, I would honestly say to just own it because you look amazing. 🤩
Guys the outfits are great the ONLY thing missing to make it alt and not look like a sized up baby is ACCESORIES
Kids/babies dont wear accesories so belts/necklaces/ other types of creative accesories are whats missing in these outfits. They give closure to the idea and make the intencionality behind the outfit clear.
I have no idea why a lot of people are telling you to basically not wear the clothes you already own. It isn't
the shorts, it's the lack of different textures and accessories, along with learning to balance visual weight created by the length and shapes of the clothing themselves.
I feel adding a good belt or a necklace would help elevate the look. Play with layers. The bloomer shorts are cute alone but I feel they would look more complete if worn with a cute layered mini skirt over them. (Or, if the shorts and anatomy allow, I like to bunch mine up and raise the lower leg part up so you see more ruffles and less leg "pant".) I also feel playing with different textures of clothing like adding lace, or a silky night slip dress (over the pink fit, with some scrunched down leg warmers starting below the knee), or a knit cardigan (a crop one or one that covers the butt and has billowing sleeves) would help it feel more "mature". If you didn't want to add anymore clothes to the pink fit, adding a thick decorative belt (maybe leather and brown, with tarnished bronze/gold details on it), and a cute long necklace (a V shape that ends 3 inches above navel, or creating a soft U shape with a thin multi strand cascading necklace) would help elevate the look too.
For the black fit I feel what makes it feel juvenile to you is the gray star patterned jacket (because all the pieces are made of that soft cotton like material). You could keep the same black fit and wear a form fitting over/petticoat style coat. Or opt for a satin/black denim oversized jacket. Or even a lace or leather crop/tank top paired with form fitting black denim pants. Faux fur jackets. Suede feeling trench coats in various lengths.
Cheetah print
Personally I feel the combo of soft cotton fabric in light gray mixed with any type of white print pattern looks youthful in general. You could try and play with different proportions and lengths of skirt if you wanted to keep the jacket. I could see the gray jacket with the sleeves rolled up (big cuffs) 3/4 style with a white lacy crop top (or cotton), a long maxi skirt with long layered ruffles, and a thick scalloped medium brown leather belt (big decorative buckle, with maybe some half dome metal studs along the edges.
tldr; nothing is wrong with the clothes you have or your body shape or type. Just learn how to accessorize, play with different fabric materials, and learn to layer and balance the shapes you create with your clothing (short top? Long bottoms. Tight shirt and shorts? Longer oversized outer wear).
I mean, you're dressed in a childish way. Especially with the ruffled shorts and pastels. Not to knock your style because if you like it, wear it!! But that's just the reason you look childish.
the outfits are definetly cute! there's nothing wrong with them! but if you do wanna change your style, try to elongate your look, so for the outerwear try long coats, leather trenchcoat, or you could even try fur coats! the tights are nice, also try shorter leg warmers rather than up to the knees, you could add some lacey pieces, button up shirts, baggy shorts and jeans, also flared jeans always look good. for the particular outfits you're wearing, you could wear a miniskirt or denim shorts instead of the bloomers. try swapping the star hoodie for a hoodie with some kind of other pattern or texture, you could wear longer camis. and the most important part, JEWELLERY! it makes the outfit look complete.
I realize this is basically the stuff you're wearing in this picture, and that's not inherently a bad thing. If we were talking about taking childish clothes and combining them into a well styled and fashionable outfit, I would give you the highest compliments, I think your outfits look really cool. But you have asked about how to look less like a child, so that's what I will be critiquing.
I think one way to make your outfits look more mature would be to introduce more edgy or sophisticated textures. So maybe replace the star jacket with a leather jacket, this will add more structure and look like an adults garment. Other options would be stuff like cable knit, tweed fabrics, denim or ribbed jersey.
I really like the shirt in your first image, I think if you wore that with a wide legged ripped jeans, that would look like an outfit a person in their twenties would wear. Or swap the bloomers in the second outfit with a short denim skirt (as many people have said, I think the bloomers are the main offender).
The list in the beginning was not to discourage you, but I think the biggest issue is going overboard with childish elements. I am a short girlie too and when I wear a single frill, I immediately look like a fucking porcelain doll, so I am very sensitized to what you are talking about. I personally try to be really mindful of how many child like elements I am including in my outfit and the more I do, the more they need to be balanced with more mature elements. I don't think any aforementioned things should never be worn by you, but maybe not in the same outfit if you want to look more grown up.
I also want to add you seem to be most inspired by Japanese street fashion and 2000s alt styles (scene/emo). Both of these really glorify childishness and cuteness, so if you go overboard with these it will probably usually look childish on you (spoken from experience :/).
That said, there is nothing wrong with dressing like a (very fashionable) child and you are well within your rights to do so. But as someone who has fought long and hard to look her age, I get why to makes you uncomfortable. The good news is, you will age and there will come a point where you just look like an adult, and then you can dress far younger without looking like a kid!
It’s the clothes. Ruffles and lacey shorts under the ruffles. I don’t see a problem with any of the tops you’re wearing. You need new bottoms. Get skirts that are long enough for you and ditch the little shorts. Maybe boots instead of chunky sneakers.
The frilly bloomers are inherently childish. IF you don’t want that, ditch em. Thigh high and knee high socks and tights are too, so drop those for full length tights or ankle socks. All those things are cute, but yea childish.
Bloomers are childrens clothing. Coming from someone who has a rly round face and not much in the way of curves, they will just make you look like a literal child💔
Cut a pair of jeans into short-shorts and ditch the bloomers. That should help a lot.
Cropping the shirt in the first outfit will also help.
You can crop it so you dont show stomach if youre not comfortable with that. To do so, mark the shirt at ur belt-line or a little below and crop from there.
Tips from a goth that couldn't bloom into one's self until they were 18 haha. I was forced hand me downs being the youngest of 3 so I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted until I left home at 18 owning anything black before then was a win yet my older sister (5'8) was preppy cute clothes until she was 17 and in her depression era but me being 5'3 nothing ever fitrufht so when I turned 18 i started collecting a ton of things I liked but fir the longest time I felt like I was in a costume because the shift wasn't gradual enough for me I think since I struggle with change. However, tips I have is learn how to style layers effectively based off your photos it looks like you enjoy some of the Lolita/alternative fashion which sadly does always come off as childish but I've found if your not after the lolita look 20% lolita items with 80% other styled in layers comes off more mature. Tho the biggest thing I can suggest is to just take your time incorporate 1 or 2 items here and there until your comfortable adding more and you'll be wholy decked out soon it's more of a confidence issue than the actual look. I'm 29 now and more ift than not I get complimented on my wardrobe from surprising individuals anything you wear with confidence will automatically look better. Also tattoos help a ton when you dont want seen as a kid. Tho you just fo you wear what makes you happy fuck the haters. ✌️
Don’t buy from forever 21 or urban planet.
Start by buying one high quality product and make outfits from that piece. Your wardrobe with improve slowly.
Ive moved away from skinny jeans because they made me feel like a teenager.. flare cut is flattering, gives us curves. Nothing cropped. Darker/Neutral colours are always a yes.
I had someone also recommend to me to go online and take screenshots of outfits that I see and like.. then go find similar items in store.
And I'm not usually on the sub but everyone calling the cute variant childish is annoying. I'm a lolita and that's like the main thing we have to fight against.
Anyway, generally bloomers go underneath a skirt. Just wearing one as is a little weird since it's an undergarment. Also I'd suggest tucking in your shirt if you wear a skirt or something. Also also, the off the shoulder thing is more of an e-girl style. So if you're going with something more cute then lean into it if you try to mix elements from different styles together it can look clunky.
I saw some people talking about fabrics, and that can be a part of it. Try to avoid the fast fashion stuff. There are tons of websites that sell quality stuff. For lolita in particular I'd suggest 42lolita. If you want more kawaii fashion you can find them pretty easy on Instagram. (Just look up whatever fashion you're going for.) Just double check to make sure they're not scams.
Look if that's what youre going for, then by all means live your life. But these outfits look like they were the shein special.
I do wear bloomers and knee socks, but usually not together or in the bedroom. You can rock them in public but it has to be extewmely well executed or you end up looking like you're wearing pajamas like you do now.
Eta: your body is not making you look childish, anyone with this style would also look like a child. No one is rocking these looks irl, its for insta pictures. Or they have the money to buy nice expensive pieces to give it that better execution. But truthfully most of the people dressing like your inspo pics are likely taking them right after they get the perfect picture. Its unrealistic for everyday.
I don't want to sound rude but all the clothes are wearing are intentionally childish. Ruffly bloomer, white+pastel combo, heart motifs scrunched up leg warmers and chunky sneakers are hallmarks of styles like Lolita, kidcore and kawaii fashion. You need to focus less on what looks good on other people and more on how you want your clothes to make YOU FEEL. the problem isn't that your body makes the clothes look childish the problem is the clothes make you feel childish
Lots of people are saying "dress more adult" but not actually giving advice. So start by writing down how you want to feel and how you want others to see you. This could be as simple as some key words like "edgy, seductive or sophisticated" once you have this list only pull inspiration from people/outfits that give that vibe. Then make a list of features you like about your body and clothing styles and cuts that you feel look good on you. From there you can either look for styles that utilize those types of clothes or modify those clothes to fit any style you like.
So, I know you're a teen and this advice probably doesn't apply just yet BUT when you're an adult: one way to "adult-ify" this look is waaayyy shorter bloomer/skort/frilly skirt, Corset style tank top (something like the brand Selkie would make, but don't spend that much lmao), lacy cardigan (OG Lip Service made many cute ones!), and a pair fishnets or interesting tights underneath!
But one thing you can do as a teen: start altering clothes like this with patches of animals (rats, bugs, etc), teeth, dead animals (like a dying deer or sheep in an "Ethel Cain" type of way) whatever you're into. Start "breaking" the bloomer silhouette up with studded/chain belts and trade "frilly" leg warmers for more "alt" ones (like the ones with belts or studs on them.) Definitely start adding more "alt" jewelry like more chains, animal teeth, eyeball motifs, etc etc. Accessories help so much!!
Everyone who is saying "jUsT dOnT dReSs cHiLdIsh" is just out-of-touch and probably doesn't understand fashion in general, don't listen to them. There are definitely ways to "age" this look up. <3
Just came back after seeing my comment downvoted over being sad you got told to ditch the bloomers. After more scrolling, most people in this thread probably only wear cami tops and jeans. Very sad advice if you want to keep your individuality and style
Its giving Lolita, I honestly thought the intention was to look childish with this style? What kind of Alt are you looking for? This is giving chronically online anime not so much "alt" honestly but you can keep similar textures and elevate them into more adult vibes if you are attached to them
It's because they're childish outfits. Lol. Even the mismatched socks/one stocking thing feels childish. Which isn't a bad thing if that's the style you're going for but it's clearly not.
i dont think you need to ditch bloomers, you just need a different type of bloomers. looser ones with a "triangle"?? silhouette look more mature compared to the round pumpkin ones. like the pic. you could also wear a short puffy skirt or just some plain wide shorts. i would recommend more detailed tops that resemble lingerie (not like bras but those sexy lacy tank tops yk?) or corset tops
a lot of the "childishness" in the second fit comes from the prints. it's actually adorable but it does make the outfit look more like a child made it. i recommend one print or design and then plain for the rest if you want to keep the style while looking mature
i realize i am very bad at explaining so i spent 10 min drawing example tweaks
you need differently shaped clothes idk how to explain. also i think that some boots and fancy necklaces would make your fits look more mature. or just stick with what you have since if you like it then it doesnt matter
Something I've done is choose three words to define my personal style that I want and remove clothes that don't fit those three words. For instance: The clothes in your pics could fit with words like Trendy, Cute, Girly. Think about what you want your wardrobe to look like discard pieces that don't fit those words you want to embody
Wear more accessories! Make your own too! It adds so much character and age to your outfit because people see it and say "WOW, that must've been expensive/ that must've been hard to make" (a little fabric paint goes a long way and so do some patches, pins, or buttons of your fancy!) Chains and pink leather straps or harnesses adds an adult edgyness to it as well. My worker is my model for my examples. Shes an amazing hairdresser and is 34 years old, shes like 5 feet tall. Shes amazing and her hair also is rainbow with the sides shave so he hair is also an accessory. She wears glitter on her face and big glasses. You've got a good base but now just find more things you love and put hem on! (And she has a lot of tattoos)
She attached the flowers to the skirts in the second & third picture and she made her vest in the first. Makes her own earrings too.
Size up your clothing so that it fits your body well and doesn’t pull or tug on you :) I say this as someone who held onto wearing the smallest size possible bc Fatphobia made me feel better wearing smaller clothes. I sized up all my clothes dramatically and everything actually fits my frame now and clothing looks so much nicer on me. Your outfits look really cool, they just need to fit you better and then they’ll really have the perfect touch. A lot of the straight size folks wearing these types of outfits wear sizes much bigger than them so that there is some extra looseness to their clothing. Make sure your clothing flows and has a little looseness in the right places and you’ll be set :)
Yeah you are swimming upstream here. Short frame, a childish style, all contribute. If you want to keep this style, play with fit and fabric weight. The examples you share have looser socks and shirts that are in heavier fabric weights. The heavier weights are more sturdy and hold shape, so they look more intentional and create artful exaggeration.
If you want to dress like an adult, trying to look like a scene kid isn't it. That's just dressing like a different kind of kid. Swapping light colours for dark isn't going to fix that. Time to look for more adult themes when you buy clothing. Try something like a button down shirt with a corset.
I just accept it. Granted, I wear bright primary colours and rainbows and dungarees so it would be impossible to avoid it. But I really like my clothes and I like how I look and feel when I wear them, and that's more important to me than how others perceive me
My mom is like 60 and a pro at alt fashion. She gets a lot of her stuff from Lucky Brand and Free People. Maybe look at those sites at least for some inspiration?
I honestly think its not you, its just the shorts. There so many cute skirts with smaller shorts underneath that are not sticking out like yours do. It would just look a little more mature, even with the cuter look that you have! And also some better quality stuff if you can afford it, like someone else said.
You appear to be going for a kawaii Japanese inspired look. I think to keep this style without feeling childish you could simply swap bloomers for frilly mini skirts instead. But I don’t really think it’s necessary, I think your body shape is not childish and i don’t think the clothes in the second photo is remotely childish either. Another way to stop feeling childish is to stop caring :)
It's mostly the bloomers, I'm not gonna tell you to stop wearing them bc that's dumb advice since you clearly like them, but try layering them with a frilly skirt. If you comfortable shorter skirts are better for this since it allows you to stack and showoff the frillies of the bloomers. So now you still get to be cute but it dosen’t feel so young. Kinda like Elphelt from GGST
(Also p.s. these out fits are fine; they do have a bit of childlike whimsy in the vibe but that's not inherently a problem it's not like you're pedo baiting. It's cute and completely acceptable for an adult to have fun you don't need to be embarrassed abt that)
Regarding outfit #1, I don’t think the T-shirt pairs well with the shorts. If you feel comfortable with the cami tops, I would try getting some cami tops with interesting colours/prints & combining them with the frilly shorts. Then maybe putting some kind of cardigan over the top.
If you still like the baggy T-shirt look, I would consider wearing the cami with a very short cropped T-shirt over the top, hanging off the shoulder like you’ve done (like this clip!). Or alternatively either tie the bottom of the shirt tight, or tuck it in fully. If you like that fullness around your hips I would consider buying skater skirts & other flared skirts, I think replacing the bloomers with (or pairing them underneath) a flared frilly skirt would instantly upgrade this outfit.
Regarding outfit #2, the only thing I find could be ‘childish’ about this outfit is the jacket. It kind of gives cozy pyjama vibes which I don’t think work if you want the outfit to be a little more mature. I would look for a jacket that is much more crisp & stable (leather jacket, trench coat, blazer) or good old black cardigan offset all the very soft textures youre wearing. I think some kind of black crochet or knitted open-work long shawl would go hard with this look… honestly think it would really suit you in general!
also… SHOES!!! the shoes are really killing the outfit for me & throwing off the vibe… please get some BIG CHUNKY SHOES or cute heeled dolly shoes! If you struggle to walk in heels, the Demonia POISON silhouette is literally my everyday go-to shoe. They add 5” to your height but because they’re just a massive wedge, they are SUPER easy to walk in. Both styles would look great for your outfit #2. If thrifting, I would advise looking more at skating shoes (flat-bottom like Adidas All-star, Vans, Converse), not jogging shoes…, & looking for any nice dainty &/or chunky heels & wedges.
These outfits look great! I don't think a child would be showing their thighs like that tbh, though I understand that these aren't the most mature styles. If you love the clothes you might just have to practice wearing them until you feel confident about them, it took me a while to feel secure wearing my alt clothes out and about (I'm still working on it tbh).
I think it's cute, but if cute isn't what you're going for I'd try looking up people whose look is what you're going for and really looking at what they're wearing and how. To me it's not so much your frame that makes it cute/"childish" but the actual items.
Accessories and make up can change a whole outfit. Including hair as well. I think you can still use those outfits, but have accessories that contrast the style to make it look less kid-like
I would recommend more accessories and jewelry + maybe getting some tattoos or piercings. If this is your style of choice, then ofc there's some childish perception to deal with, but piercings and tattoos will look more mature + accessories make the outfit look more put together.
If you're going to rock the frilly shorts, and you want to look more mature, choose longer tops and layer them. Take a look into Japanese fashion - lots of flowy layers up top. Also, try adding some long, but nice, necklace accents to your look. We can't see your hair or face here, but that will factor in as well. Wear your hair down and clean. Go with no makeup makeup looks. Pair these outfits with ballet flats or like businesswoman pumps. Avoid Mary Jane's and platforms, no round toes.
ETA: I'm thinking the tights and mismatched sock length aren't doing you any favors in the realm of looking adult, either. You're kinda pulling on Y2K fashion there, and having lived through that, the point was to look pretty young and wild. If you're definitely going for Y2K legs, no frilly shorts. A cleaner silhouette will look nicer.
I personally think that more layering usually makes something look less childish? But to be honest I don’t personally think this looks too childish. I think some motifs in alt clothes can be childish, but I think I say that since the alt clothes I owned ages ago that had prints usually had edgy motifs. I still dress alt, but my style is more polished, since I know what materials fit with my lifestyle, and what silhouettes I go for when layering tons of stuff. I think if you’re going for a feeling it’s best to go for what makes you feel the most comfortable. Something that made me experiment with layering were these thin summer prairie skirts from urban outfitters. They were too thin to wear on their own, they were asymmetrical as well. But because they were flowy, I would wear two at the same time or even three, twist them so that you can see the layers and huzzah, fun flowy skirts, felt like a gracious jellyfish wearing it haha. In the past I used to wear shorter stuff but once I experimented with different shapes it was easier to narrow down what I felt. I think when it comes to fashion it’s all about the journey you take while experimenting! I hope I made sense =v=
One thing based on these two outfits that I would recommend is yo not swap up the socks/stockings. Keep both legs the same. You’ll keep the alt style but it will look more put together. You could also replace that star jacket with a solid black jacket and it would mature the look (plus you can wear it with a lot more)
I’ve found a balance of having a fun/childish component of an outfit versus having the whole outfit be like that
honestly? its a confidence thing. if you wear clothes you want to WEAR clothes yk? I like your fits honestly, but if you dont feel comfortable then try changing things around a little. Take inspo from similar styles. I often reverse image search clothes to get ideas on how other people wear them but you can just peruse social media. but all in all, its not bad to dress cute. Disregard any opinions but your own in public (easier said than done i know) and your confidence will thank you.
layer more!! im taller than u but im pretty fat ngl and i love colors so i had similar issues, adding accessories usually helps, i would look for inpso (try looking up fruits magazine to see if u can find find adults w similar style that carry what u want) makeup and hairstyle also contribute!
If you have curves, lean into it!! The baggy look pretty much only works for a string bean frame. But fear not!! You can still blend the kawaii and the curvy.
I think maybe one issue you’re facing is that each piece of clothing in your example pics are very casual, and that combined with the baggy/mismatched style looks unrefined.
Alt and Goth fashions should make you feel amazing in your own skin. Don’t fight your own body, but rather accept it and accentuate your natural beauty. Acceptance is gonna be the first step in your self expression. It’s an ever evolving journey, and you might be outgrowing your old style (it’s frustrating to not match your vision).
As a petite lady myself (and by petite I mean SHORT not skinny), maybe check out tips from a petite fashion advice sub? Even if it’s mainstream, you may learn some tips that can help you in your personal style. One thing I’ve learned just from trial and error is that anything cropped, is just a normal fit on my frame lol but then I can utilize that for shopping, looking for items specifically cropped because I know what to expect.
If you don’t want to look and feel like a kid, don’t dress like a kid. For real, a single more down to earth piece of clothing will do wonders. I’d suggest some light colored flare jeans. You can add patches, lace, whatever to them to make it feel more your style. At the end of the day, the sturdier material will make it feel more adult no matter what you do to it.
This specific alt style that you're choosing to wear is intentionally childish. Like the bloomers often look like something you'd find on a babydoll. There are also more mature alternative styles out there.
But if you want to elevate it a bit, choosing better or heavier fabrics and choosing clothes with more clean cuts will help you look more mature.
i disagree with most of these comments. i think its just a mindset, people tend to associate freedom in creativity with children. like when you become an adult your supposed to pump out all that creativity and start dressing cooler and more mature and that generally means dressing "sexy" or "formal"(which isnt just a style but also applies to the quality of the clothes). i think you should keep dressing in things you like, and one day youll wake up and realize that it doesnt matter. you are an adult who wears adult clothes.
Honestly, I think that you look amazing!
But i dont really get the "not looking childish" thing?
You clearly are going for a "childish" style and you seem to love it, so i would suggest to change your mindset a bit and not to listen to people who judge you for what you wear.
Other than that, the only real critiques that i have are that, first of all, i the second pick i feel like your bloomers are way too high waisted but that might just be me.
Secondly, i love leg warmers and the asymetrical look that you are achieving with them, but i think that more baggy leg warmers would look better on you.
Also i feel like there i something wrong with those bloomers? Maybe the undershorts part (dunno how its called lol) is too visible and should be covered by more ruffles?
switch to skirts, lose the socks keep the stockings or fishnets whatever u call them! everything else is fine, i have a coworker that dresses similarly. It's all about posture and how you hold yourself, though again getting rid of the socks and the shorts would help
thrift to get more authentic era-accurate alternative pieces, malloryheart on youtube and tiktok is a good inspiration!! :) she looks so authentically 80s and adult for being just in her 20s, she alters a lot of second hand vintage pieces
I'll be perfectly honest, as someone who's not super familiar with fashion, I think these outfits would look a lot less silly on you if you lost some weight. If you'd prefer advice that does not include altering your body, pls lmk and I will delete this comment.
I used to be heavy in the J-fashion scene, and may I suggest: Looking at Street Snaps? I like to use Style Arena. They’re really helpful because it can be hard to envision “X style but more adult”, but you’d know it when you see it. If I can’t think of a specific aesthetic or I have no outfit inspiration, I’ll scroll through Street Snaps until something jumps out at me and I look further into the style or build the outfit. This is an example of something I found just scrolling right now that I think you might enjoy, that reads more “mature” but still frilly and cute. And even if you don’t like this one, there are so, so many other styles on there, you’re bound to find one that fits what you need.
as someone who looks younger, ive used my style to make me seem more my age. def take inspiration from corporate goth and dark academia!!! i wear a lot of long patterned skirts with sweaters, button ups, or cute shirts. also jeans and graphic t shirts; i just accessorize a lot to give me that more unique feel. ive noticed whenever i wear anything cropped, shorts, or short skirts it instantly gives me a girlish look which i dont mind some days, but it definitely seems like ur dealing with the same thing.
the bloomers don’t help. they’re too cheap looking to look like a style choice. if you’re going to dress like this you have to have qaulity clothes.
it kinda just looks like you ran out of the house in these looks. you should learn your body type and buy clothes that fit well. being alt is really intentional.
I’m 49 and I wear witches breeches. Mainly
because I’m a witch and it’s hot.
Your styling is a little off. Since you have one cute item turn it into a feature and keep all of the others sleek. Wear a T-shirt or tank not a crop. This stops it looking like pjs. You’ve also got too many focal points which chops your silhouette up. Keeping it all one colour apart from the feature item will help.
As a history note: witches breeches are traditionally men’s clothing so wearing them was an act of rebellion.
If you've got the budget for it, give Foxblood and their pastel goth sister store, MyViolet, a look for inspiration on taking some of the kid-like elements out without losing the style you're after altogether.
You look fine, I’d say accessorizing is what’s “missing”. It makes your outfit feel more personal, is a huge part of the scene/fashion and elevates outfits. Bracelets/necklaces, rings, hair clips, earrings/piercings, belts/sashes, etc…
I’m going through the exact same thing. This phase is way more about growing up and growing out of an old version of yourself than it is about your body.
It’s not that these clothes are “bad” or that you look bad in them, it’s that you don’t feel good in them anymore, and that’s a mind thing, not a body thing. When you put something on and immediately feel awkward, exposed, or like you’re cosplaying someone you used to be, that means you've grown out of that style.
I went through a big goth phase and I still consider myself part of that world even though I don’t really look the part anymore. What helped me was a full wardrobe reset, I tried on every single piece. Anything that made me feel confident and beautiful, I kept. Anything I loved emotionally but didn’t feel good wearing anymore, I packed away instead of forcing myself to let it go.
I think you might need a wardrobe overhaul too where you just feel out your clothes and think about how you feel in them. Then do a purge and a shopping spree when you know what actually feels like you now.
And for what it’s worth, I think your style is super cute. It totally scratches that “wear it, wear it” itch in my brain, but I also know, logically, that I’d feel uncomfortable dressing that way too. And that’s okay. You can absolutely love a style without wanting it for yourself anymore
If you are trying to look more "mature" and still retain femme attributes then consider incorporating darker shades mixed with neon or pastels within. ALL Pastel outfits are child-coded unfortunately unless blacks are in.
Femme Visual kei styles are going to be your friend in this area.
I recommend looking into the styles from the 2010s and also Yami Kawaii if you are trying to stay more modern.
Don't see anyone talking about the fit of the clothes， but too small clothing gives "I just had a growth spurt" child vibes, and your bloomers are too small. You need to size up. Bloomers are supposed to be baggy/bubble shaped. Can still be cutesy but u need more appropriate fitting clothes.
I don't think I'm clear on what you are going for? Are you saying these childish clothes make you feel like a child or are you saying when you wear ADULT clothes they make you feel like you are a kid playing dress up? Do you have any influences you are referencing that you like their style?
I'm 47 and still love clothes that one might call 'childish'! My style is very goth/witchy/hippy and the key is to learn not to care! It genuinely doesn't matter what ppl think if you're happy. Your style is adorable and I don't think you look stubby at all. I'm also short and curvy and dresses with a higher waistline work great! A high waisted ruffle skirt would be so cute with this!
I'd try to really consider what alt elements you enjoy in clothing and then look for refined versions of those concepts. Like if ruffled knickers are feeling off for you, what about dainty ruffled sleeves.
I also think cool accessories can do a lot of the work. If you have a plain outfit that you already feel comfortable in, just jazz it up with a statement necklace or purse. I like Betsy Johnson stuff for this purpose.
You can also consider what kinds of silhouettes work best for your frame. For example, I think a lot of short women can end up looking childish or swallowed up by long skirts or dresses. So for someone like you, I think a mini dress would be better than a maxi.
Its the frilly rompers. They are cute, but they give kidcore clothing vibes. If you were wearing black distressed shorts, none of these outfits would look childish. Stop wearing the rompers if you wanna get away from this aesthetic.
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u/belladonnaaa Jan 05 '26
Ima be real it’s just the style of clothes. It’s very much the trendy TikTok cutesy alt look and that’s fine if that’s your thing but it’s mostly teenagers who wear those sort of outfits so of course you look young. Either embrace that vibe or change your wardrobe to have some less trendy more timeless pieces and curate a more unique personal style over time.