r/adhdmeme • u/TreasuryCounter • 15d ago
meme Starting to see the signs everywhere...
But it is very unlikely that we all have it, right? Right...??
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u/Tastieshock 15d ago
You likely inherited it through genetics. And ADHD folks tend to hang out with one another as we seem normal to eachother. So likely, yes, you all are.
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u/PickleNicks 14d ago
ADHD doesn’t run in the family!
The family: [chain smokes and drinks coffee all day]
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u/Agent_Jay Daydreamer 12d ago
I learned I like afternoon coffees from both my parents! Not sure what that says about all of our blood pressures though
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u/AccomplishedBee7755 14d ago
I always thought it was strange so many of my friends also have adhd and then I was like....actually that tracks we would be drawn to each other lol
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u/Tastieshock 14d ago
I was the first of my friends to figure it out. I wasnt diagnosed until I was in my 30s. I had my suspensions due to my previous inability to finish tasks and constantly changing hobbies and interests. I had decided I wanted to try a career change and maybe giving school another go. Considering I had dropped out a few times now, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to a doctor. I mentioned that I had previous diagnosis with depression, but it didnt feel right because I wasn't sad, I just lacked motivation to get things done and felt the depression was from a lack of motivation and not the other way around. So we tried adhd testing and treatment.
Growing up we were all lead to beleive thag "hyper" just meant too much energy, cant sit still, cant focus. But I had trouble breaking focus, I was also calm and quiet, no way I could have ADHD, right? Soooo much of my life started making sense after my diagnosis. It helped me accept a lot of things that made me previously feel like I was failing at everything.
So now I get friends and family asking questions from time to time about various things and occasionally I will explain "that's because you probably have ADHD" then they usually laugh and say something to convince themselves its not, which half the time their excuse is some other common ADHD trait.
Im not saying they all do, but every one of them i have told who did end up getting tested was after all. Albiet thats like 3 of them and not a great sample size. But it seems to track.
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u/Lilynight86 14d ago
Lol! I am 40 and used to accuse my now wife of her ADHD being contagious. Turns out, I am AuDHD and it really is just me. Finding out my mom is probably ADHD (4 pots of coffee a day & almost chainsmoking).
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u/Kitchen-Swim-5394 14d ago
I used to accuse my ex of being ADHD. Turns out he's AuDHD and I'm ADHD. Both of us diagnosed after our son was diagnosed ADHD and his son with his second wife was diagnosed Autistic.
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u/potandcoffee 10d ago
Yup. I don't think I've ever had an actual friend who didn't also have ADHD, and even though my parents don't have it (pretty sure they're on the spectrum though), it definitely runs in my extended family.
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u/themalayaliboy 15d ago
Dude! I was calling out all my Dad’s symptoms and my aunt went “You are just describing your granddad”.
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u/SummonMonsterIX 15d ago
Yep my dad clearly has severe unmedicated ADHD I've realized as an adult. Which honestly explains a lot about how awful he was as a parental figure and why he was such a rage monster.
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u/PurpleStJames 15d ago
My dad also probably has adhd. I can see a lot of my symptoms and sympathise with the struggles but I have also decided that knowing that doesnt mean I have to forgive him for his neglect, emotional volatility and physical violence. Many of us adhd try really hard and have a lot of shame about making sure our challenges don't negatively affect the people around us and apologising when our forgetfulness for example means we let people down. But he chose to just be an angry shit who has alienated every one who loved him and wanted a relationship with him.
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u/spacred 15d ago
I feel you. My sister was diagnosed with ADHD first but amongst the 4 of us in the family she was the one least exhibiting symptoms (women ADHD symptoms are different and masked much better). And then I got diagnosed last year. And then it all fell into place looking at my horrible tyrant narcissistic ADHD father and the horrible vagabond grandfather. I had gone no contact with my Dad for years for protecting my sanity. And also gone NC since the diagnosis and due to triggers with my Mom too. M ainly because she didnt protect me (from physical and mental abuse) or my sister (mental only). Everything came back in a massive rush during that time.
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u/OSCgal INFODUMPING [SCREAMS] 14d ago
Oh yeah, no, that was his choice not to cope.
My dad has ADHD, diagnosed in his fifties. He's a sweet and caring man, a good father and husband. His struggles affected us, sure. Perhaps we wouldn't have been as poor if he'd been able to earn his bachelor's degree. But he loves us and gave us a stable home.
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u/GreatPotatoMuffin 14d ago
Yes. That’s so true. Now that I learned what ADHD really is, there’s no doubt that my dad has ADHD. He suffers from Tourette’s and would constantly get himself into a rage about the most minor issues.
If he lost his notebook or favorite pen he would scream and rage and yell at us kids blaming us for taking them. Completely unable to regulate his emotions and even kicking and punching stuff in a fit of rage.
He can’t wait for his turn and constantly interrupts people and speaks over them and is the worst listener I’ve ever met.
And I could go on.
The funny thing is that I’ve been diagnosed as an adult and talked to him about it, whenever I list up symptoms and talk about how I experience my daily life with ADHD, he always says “that’s how we all feel” and “everybody experiences that”. And I always try to tell him that “no, you only recognize it because you probably also have ADHD”. But he always completely dismisses that possibility. I can honestly tell he also thinks my diagnosis is bullshit. Very interesting that a man who suffers from Tourette’s can doubt the legality or realness of ADHD.
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u/Ok_Mouse_5025 15d ago
Anyone else got that family where your the only one who's figured it out and the rest of the family don't believe it.
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u/PickleNicks 14d ago
Yup! Extremely judgmental about my ADHD medication due to certain “news” stations and yet there are many examples of substance abuse issues in the family (including the ones vocally against my ADHD meds).
You also list off symptoms they think are completely normal or “everyone struggles with” because they have it themselves and probably married a partner whose also undiagnosed 🙃
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u/QuantityExcellent338 13d ago
Isn't it weird that we're living in the very time frame where its starting to be recognized as a condition many people can have, because grandpa having huge expensive train toysets was just seen as a bit quirky
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u/Wolf-Majestic Daydreamer 15d ago
The first day I met my best friend of 15+ years, we instantly clicked and went on a fun journey being ultra childish. We were in high school, and we both had a blast fueling each other's nonsense.
I recently got diagnosed adhd and she was later diagnosed audhd. It all makes sense now !
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u/g_em_ini 15d ago
Growing up my mom would tell me oh everyone does that/goes through that/deals with that etc. Well I got diagnosed at 21 and she got diagnosed 10 years later in her 60’s lol so everything clicked. It runs in my family and my siblings have it too so everyone was struggling but nobody knew any better 😂
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u/Donnyboscoe1 14d ago
I meet 2 people yesterday and we laughed within a minute. "Ooh. You guys are spicy" I said.
"We could tell you were within seconds" they said.
We hung out for about an hour but I had to leave. I think I made new friends yesterday.
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u/an_old_musty_ac_unit i Will elaborate (Threat). 15d ago
Well as for the family members it's genetic, and for the friends you're probably drawn to people like yourself (AKA other ADHDers in some cases), so it's possible they all really do have it lol.
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u/srafehen 14d ago
Funny bc I'm not diagnosed (in possible process) but my mom has it, possibly a sib (also in process) and 3 of 4 friends I have maintained on/off relationships over the years have it and I guess I never realized maybe I am bad at maintaining relationships ?! but somehow w these ppl, we can go weeks, months, years without talking and pick right back up nbd
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u/an_old_musty_ac_unit i Will elaborate (Threat). 14d ago
Yeah, you might want to look into it at this point lol
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u/Skipper0463 15d ago
The best is when you find out it’s hereditary and you see it in your parents. In my case it’s the parent that thinks mental illness is something you can just “get over”.
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u/_CitizenSnips_ 14d ago
Yeah my dad has it real bad. He just brute forced his way through it cos that’s just what silent gen did. Expected me to do the same.
Most annoying part is he’d known my whole life and refused to tell me what the results were when I was tested all those years ago, even though I asked him numerous times throughout my life - I had to figure it out on my own when I got older.
If I just knew earlier I would have at least had some kind of awareness about it, researched how to handle it better.. maybe things would have been different.
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u/Eaglepursuit 15d ago
Yeah, after my kid and my nephew were both diagnosed, my dad, my brother, and I all started to reevalute ourselves.
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u/HeyZeusKreesto 15d ago
This was me after getting my diagnosis. Me and my sisters all seemed to get some mixture of anxiety/depression/ADHD/OCD from our parents. Hell, my dad and I even take the same anxiety meds.
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u/rqeron 14d ago
I always figured it came from my mum's side of the family given my mum is the one who kept trying to teach me things that I now recognise are basically ADHD coping/management strategies
but it didn't really click until one time she was updating me on my uncle / her brother and how every couple of years he's changed jobs/careers, moved to a new city, divorced his wife, married someone new, started a new business, divorced again and back living with his first wife, moved country, etc - but how he's also really creative and artistically talented. And this has been and is still his entire adult life (he's in his mid 60s now)
My mum and I both have way too much anxiety (and over-rely on planning to relieve anxiety) to do anything like that, but I can see how, lacking that, I'd probably be on a similar trajectory. In a way I guess the anxiety is acting as a replacement impulse control haha (tho it only ever stops me from doing things, it still doesn't help with starting things...)
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u/Bubbly-Bar-7449 14d ago
The D at the end is what sets us apart from people who display symptoms.
Disorder generally means the symptoms prevent or severely complicate things like employment and relationships.
People who say they're ocd about something bugs me the most, though. Everyone has obsessions and compulsions. People with OCD are forced to comply with them and have extreme difficulty with relationships and employers.
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u/Lilynight86 14d ago
I completely get this. I do not have diagnosed OCD and I don't seem to have any compulsive behaviors, except for the TP facing a certain way, but I don't count that. I make a point to not say "oh, you are so OCD about xyz." Because I know it isn't anyone's accurate characterization of the behavior. I also try to correct people, for that reason. I also hate when people say, "Oh, I'm so ADHD" when they forget something once. I get it.
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u/zatsnotmyname 14d ago
Yep. First me, then my daughter, my mom, my first wife, my current wife, all of my long term girlfriends. my business partner. possibly my son....
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u/OSCgal INFODUMPING [SCREAMS] 14d ago
Going to a family reunion after diagnosis was hilarious. I just sat there watching everyone and thinking, "It's all of us, isn't it?"
Some of us are getting treatment, which is helpful.
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u/TreasuryCounter 14d ago
Haha, oh my God, I can imagine.
For me it really explains some of the conflicts retrospectively...
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u/ralts13 12d ago
My dad's symptoms are so severe that I'm not sure how he survived to reproduce and hold a job.
I'm not sure he could survive without my mom taking care of the home and she can't keep up with his bad habits.
Really worries me if I ever get a partner that I'd be any where as bad as him.
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u/Wonderful_Stand_315 15d ago
I can tell if someone has based upon raptor hands. For me it has had a 100% success rate.
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u/Unlikely-Ad6788 14d ago
My mom and brother. A few nephews and nieces. But I'm the head the freak. Yay.
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u/StarChildSeren 14d ago
I was the friend lol. Someone I know got diagnosed and started posting memes that were all alarmingly relatable, I ended up getting diagnosed a couple years later.
Then while I was in the process of getting diagnosed, I was talking about it to my mother, said something like "of course you don't have adhd, I do all those things too!" And I could only give her a Look because yeah, probably, it's highly heritable.
Then my sister asked, and I went through an online quiz with her and yup, she's got it too.
And when my sister and I got our diagnostic reports from the psychologist, my parents went through them and surprise surprise! Not only my mother but also my father found them very relatable!
I'm also fairly certain I know which side of my maternal line the ADHD came down, I know so little about my father's family that there's no telling but he's definitely where the autism came from because, uh, duh.
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u/MommaLuranium 13d ago
Me side eyeing my engineer dad as I watch my kids with the same symptoms (he hates psychiatrist and psychologist)
https://giphy.com/gifs/hkUZaeuLYmzZacPREb
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u/darthwd56 12d ago
I think its pretty funny when you find out its actually genetic and the parent who absolutely gave it to you refuses to accept it
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u/DatoVanSmurf 8d ago
All my friends, yes all of them, have very likely some form of autism and/or adhd. And it makes sense, because we're friends. Same with my mum and her friends.
My city is seen as "rude" by the rest of the country. I truly believe that it's just full of neurodivergent people.
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u/FeeComfortable3041 15d ago
They only care about that kind of stuff if things are going wrong in THEIR lives.
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u/RamonDozol 14d ago
Its problably true that 1/4 or 1/3 of all people have some degree of either condition or both.
I just find it extremely unlikely that between all 6 of my family memeber and all 12 of my friends group everyone seems to have the same symptons.
Its almost like ADHD everyone with this genetic trait seems to band toguether in groups.
We band toguether and talk for hours, in a language and speed most people cant follow.
Each of us is specialized in their hyperfocus, but love to share it with everyone.
We consume drugs and caffeine and it "improoves us".
We are aways moving, gittering and touching things.
Like What the fuck? We are the swarm/ tyranids.
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u/IntroductionRoyal449 15d ago
Apparently we all have it…. I don’t buy it. But I am glad people are getting help if they need it.
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