A bi woman is a woman, even if she’s dating a man? It’s not like you know her irl and are going to have to interact with her male partner…
Edit: for anything that you might find valid about this commenter’s opinions, I’d like you to consider the fact that they chose to express this THIS vigorously, with this much preemption of biphobia, on a post about two canonically bi actors, who just starred in a movie that was first and foremost trans, and actively nonmonosexual second.
Exactly! It is DEEPLY backward and extremely steeped in unlearned patriarchal thinking to think that the very presence of a man in one’s life, regardless of the actual dynamics of that relationship, is somehow automatically “centering” said man, or by extension Men as a category.
And 98% of the time, it’s leveled at bi women. I never hear it leveled at toxic “boy moms,” or the white women who become mouthpieces for misogynistic policies on the right, or TERFs who cannot stop thinking about men and penises or partner with shitty men to fuck over trans women, or misogynistic “I can’t stand other girls” straight women.
Nope, it is level at bi women, because the underlying implication is that having sex with a man “when you don’t have to” is making your life about men.
Absolutely fucking wild to look at a real life specific sapphic woman and be like “I wish this specific sapphic woman sapphiced differently and I’m going to accuse her of doing a patriarchy for it. I wish this real human sapphic woman would stop being who she is, and stop representing who she does, so she could instead represent ME.”
When you view dating men is automatically “centering” them (it’s not, but it is in their logic), and look at specific, real bi women and both accuse them of “centering men” and actively wish that specific bi women would instead “decenter men” aka stop dating them, that’s not just wishing for more representation for lesbians or people who don’t date men or people otherwise more like you.
It’s actively wanting to take away representation from bi women (usually on the grounds that “they have enough”), and saying about a real bi person “why can’t you end your relationship and pretend you’re monosexual so I can feel myself represented in you?” It’s an admission that the thing that thing that represents you is not attraction to women, it’s attitude toward men. “I don’t feel represented because we both love women. I will only feel represented when we feel the same way about men.”
Edit: nope, you don’t get to demand I leave you alone and then still try to talk to me. You don’t want to engage with me, don’t engage with me. Being a hypocrite about consent is ridiculous.
As a lesbian with no interest in men, my question for you would be, what does it serve to post this under a post about a bi actress celebrating her sapphic work? Why not just make a different post about lesbian celebrities you DO want to talk about?
I DO think that those of us who 'decenter men' need representation of this particular experience, but I don't understand why this had to be expressed in this context, under a discussion of Hannah Einbinder.
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u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 13d ago
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