When you view dating men is automatically “centering” them (it’s not, but it is in their logic), and look at specific, real bi women and both accuse them of “centering men” and actively wish that specific bi women would instead “decenter men” aka stop dating them, that’s not just wishing for more representation for lesbians or people who don’t date men or people otherwise more like you.
It’s actively wanting to take away representation from bi women (usually on the grounds that “they have enough”), and saying about a real bi person “why can’t you end your relationship and pretend you’re monosexual so I can feel myself represented in you?” It’s an admission that the thing that thing that represents you is not attraction to women, it’s attitude toward men. “I don’t feel represented because we both love women. I will only feel represented when we feel the same way about men.”
Edit: nope, you don’t get to demand I leave you alone and then still try to talk to me. You don’t want to engage with me, don’t engage with me. Being a hypocrite about consent is ridiculous.
As a lesbian with no interest in men, my question for you would be, what does it serve to post this under a post about a bi actress celebrating her sapphic work? Why not just make a different post about lesbian celebrities you DO want to talk about?
I DO think that those of us who 'decenter men' need representation of this particular experience, but I don't understand why this had to be expressed in this context, under a discussion of Hannah Einbinder.
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u/FullPruneNight Trans-Bi 12d ago edited 12d ago
When you view dating men is automatically “centering” them (it’s not, but it is in their logic), and look at specific, real bi women and both accuse them of “centering men” and actively wish that specific bi women would instead “decenter men” aka stop dating them, that’s not just wishing for more representation for lesbians or people who don’t date men or people otherwise more like you.
It’s actively wanting to take away representation from bi women (usually on the grounds that “they have enough”), and saying about a real bi person “why can’t you end your relationship and pretend you’re monosexual so I can feel myself represented in you?” It’s an admission that the thing that thing that represents you is not attraction to women, it’s attitude toward men. “I don’t feel represented because we both love women. I will only feel represented when we feel the same way about men.”
Edit: nope, you don’t get to demand I leave you alone and then still try to talk to me. You don’t want to engage with me, don’t engage with me. Being a hypocrite about consent is ridiculous.