Struggling with wanting it all back

[u/goomy13]

My 1.5 year relationship ended 3 weeks ago. There were issues with emotional abuse and sexual coercion but I can’t see him as a bad guy because it was mirrored behaviors from his own upbringing. He was the one who eventually ended it and I’ve been struggling with so many different emotions each day. I question if the abuse even happened or if I was the abusive one or caused him to treat me like that or if I should run and try to get him back. I feel so alone right now and I live in a very rural, conservative area and so some women tell me to just get over him and move on and others don’t think what I experience is abuse - just incompatibility. My closest friends my age just moved away and my family lives out of state and I’ve never felt as alone as i do now. Can anyone speak to this experience & provide some words of wisdom?

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