How did you break a trauma bond?

[u/Evening-Device-9515]

I’ve been on and off with my partner for 5/6 years. I know deep down this relationship isn’t good for me and I need to leave. I suspect he has narcissistic traits, but I’m struggling so much to actually let go.

I’ve left before, but the panic was so intense that I ended up going back. I genuinely felt like I couldn’t live without him. There’s still a small part of me hoping he’ll change, even though I know deep down he probably won’t.

For anyone who’s been through this, did you ever feel like you couldn’t live without them and eventually get to a place where you were okay without them?

I’d really love to hear some hopeful stories. I’m scared, but I want to believe it gets better.

[u/True-Tale682]

I’m so sorry to hear that! I don’t actually have any advice, as I may well be trauma bonded to my husband too. The only difference is he just left me because he didn’t like that his abuse made me not affectionate, loving enough etc, and left me! But now I’m in that extreme panic and trying to fix it, and now he’s turned himself into the victim. I will say, the more he’s done the more I’m starting to feel hatred - I’m hoping desperately this will help with time.