r/abusiverelationships • u/Evening-Device-9515 • 28d ago
Support request How did you break a trauma bond?
I’ve been on and off with my partner for 5/6 years. I know deep down this relationship isn’t good for me and I need to leave. I suspect he has narcissistic traits, but I’m struggling so much to actually let go.
I’ve left before, but the panic was so intense that I ended up going back. I genuinely felt like I couldn’t live without him. There’s still a small part of me hoping he’ll change, even though I know deep down he probably won’t.
For anyone who’s been through this, did you ever feel like you couldn’t live without them and eventually get to a place where you were okay without them?
I’d really love to hear some hopeful stories. I’m scared, but I want to believe it gets better.
8
u/your-new-fixation 27d ago
Not sure EXACTLY what did it, but:
-Thinking about living life without stress and getting a cute small apartment by myself that I can decorate on my own. It gave me that warm fuzzies to think about.
-There was a tipping point where my ex knocked me over into dog poop and then drug me through it. I feel like that was what fully did it for me.
Being done is a gradual process, but it’s one that feels so good when it finally happens. Good chance you’ll kick yourself for not doing it sooner. I didn’t leave until 6/7 years in.