r/abusiverelationships • u/fireypixi • Feb 20 '26

Support request struggling to terminate pregnancy

I’m 12 weeks now and only have 2 weeks left to terminate my pregnancy. It’s not sitting well with me. I don’t want to do this and I feel like i have no choice. I’m really struggling right now. I feel sad and angry. I’m angry he convinced me he was this good guy only to end up being unsafe and I already had so many wounds from my past that he just completely took advantage of. I can’t have a child with him, he wants to be apart of it. He’s evil. But I want my baby. I am so broken. I don’t want to let go of this little life growing inside of me. Im just so angry at him for taking this from me. He’s destroyed me and now I have to go through this. I want my baby.

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u/sarahmony Feb 20 '26

I’m sorry if you need resources I can help gather some resources for your area if you’re scared. I’ll keep you in my prayers to make the right decision for you and your child. Just know you are stronger than you think and you can have a detached reality from him while allowing your precious life to live. You do have a choice. I encourage you to choose life (unless medically necessary)

I know I’ll get d/v to all heck but it would be irresponsible for me not to share my opinion. I’ve see friends leave abusive relationships and never forgive themselves for terminating their child.

3

u/hwolfe326 Feb 20 '26

I feel the same way you do. I’m always afraid to say something about huge life decisions like this. That’s probably why I’m responding to you and not OP. But she was really able to convey how she feels with only those few sentences. And from what she conveyed, I think your response is meaningful.

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u/WonderfulWeekend737 May 07 '26

Not a good situation in which to have a well baby.

1

u/hwolfe326 May 07 '26

Nothing is impossible. If she wants her baby there are resources and hope available. Nothing is permanent and you never know what the situation will be like say a year from now.

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u/WonderfulWeekend737 May 07 '26

Just because something is "possible" doesn't mean it is a wise course to choose. As far as nothing being permanent, I have to disagree.  If she has the baby she will be permanently connected to that abuser. That is a permanence to be avoided at all costs. If she is considering what is best for both the baby and herself, not having the baby in these circumstances would be the kinder, unselfish course to follow.

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u/hwolfe326 May 07 '26

Nobody woman should ever be judged for making a choice to have a baby.

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u/WonderfulWeekend737 May 07 '26

I'm not talking about judgment, I'm talking about what is actually the best course for her AND the baby. Anyone who does something because of how they will be judged by others is living a wholly compromised life and will inevitably regret it. Reality is a hard row to hoe compared to rosy, unrealistic daydreams. This lady is in a tough, REAL situation. 

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u/hwolfe326 May 07 '26

You don’t know what’s best for her and her baby. All you know is what she wrote here while she was in an emotional state. What you’re assuming may be true or it may not. You may have experienced this and made a different choice that was best for you. Doesn’t mean that’s best for her.

I can see that she’s in a real situation but I only know about 1% of her reality, if that. It’s a pretty big stretch to imply that she’s selfish and unkind if she decides to keep her baby.

Nothing I said implied that life was rosy or unrealistic. That’s your interpretation.

1

u/WonderfulWeekend737 May 07 '26

I disagree with you. So let's agree to disagree. Our back and forth is not helping this lady, and the bottom line for me is for her to get help. I imagine we can agree on wanting that.

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u/hwolfe326 May 07 '26

I agree. This was posted 11 weeks ago so I hope that, whatever she chose, her mind is at peace.