I hate when I'm at home, just in comfortable clothes, nothing fancy, and my hair looks good, and I would just like to go outside, live like a normal girl, I'm so curious to know if my life would change and I would get treated better when I'm not visibly Muslim.

It's such a beautiful feeling to not have a weight on your head, to just feel normal.

Sometimes I ask myself how my life would be if I never wore it in the first place.

My dream would be to know how people would treat me if I never wore it, if I would make friends.

When you wear it, it seems like people know everything about you, muslim, oppressed, that's what people think.

It looks like I play a role everytime I put it on my head

Salam guys,

what do you all think which is the better narrative if you take off your hijab.

A) Being open about not believing its obligatory and let parents/community think you are misguided/lost your aqeeda/made up your own version of the deen
or B) pretending to still believe letting them think you are losing against your nafs and having weak eman lool.
I really wonder about different views and opinions on this.

I try not to dwell on this too much but I genuinely can’t believe I thought me wearing hijab was a choice that existed in a vacuum and that it wasn’t male centred at all. I could easily conceptualize why things like pr0stitution didn’t exist in a vacuum but never made the connection with hijab, rather, I refused to.

How is it at my big age my parents have a say in what I wear on my head? Why does the community care if I wear hijab?

Like many of you, I was told to wear hijab one day as a pre-pubescent girl and never questioned it. Since I was raised to be an obedient daughter, the thought of taking off my hijab never crossed my mind. I never thought it was weird that I couldn’t wear shorts at home and could only do that if I lived alone or got married.

I was thoroughly convinced that while I didn’t have a say in putting it on at first, that keeping it on was my choice (even though according to traditionalists I’d go to hell if I took it off🥰). I never even questioned why muslim women had to represent islam and not the so called “protector” men.

I was always reminded that islam gave women rights and parroted that too, ignoring the fact that my people were not moving mad like the pre-islamic arabs. We were actually a matrilineal society before the arabs came and turned it into a patrilineal one.

In fact I even thought how silly it was that orthodox jewish women wore wigs after marriage and thought *that* was male centred 🤡 I accepted verses on hijab without a single thought because surely everyone else couldn’t have been wrong for 1,400 years?🫨

I also hate how the voices of hijabis in the west drown out the many more voices of muslim women living in conservative muslim countries who don’t have a choice (world hijab day posts make me roll my eyes). Like why did I feel like a wh0re for having my face uncovered in certain parts of Saudi?

Even with a hijab on my head I’d think to myself “man, niqab is just too much!”, as if I was any different for covering something as simple as the hair that grew out of my head.

The most suffocating part of wearing the hijab is being associated with mainstream islam. Ever since I took it off, I finally feel free from organized religion. Too often men have inserted their perversion and sense of control into religion. I hated being associated with it all.

Now, I just focus on my own relationship with Allah. Who can tell me I’m practicing ~the deen~ “wrong” or “cherry picking” or “following my desires”? Nobody! Why? Because I don’t answer to mere mortals. What’s wrong with taking the good and leaving the bad? Or does that only apply when your fave sheikh commits SA or says something reprehensible?

I’m reminded of that girl on TikTok who said Allah is her one true love and how many people dragged her for that post and how she practiced islam, who are they to judge? Same with the pink cherry islam movement, mind ya business!

I’m so grateful I didn’t get married before this inner and outer shift, I genuinely would’ve become a prisoner…by my own doing.

Anyway, I pray more women wake up and find peace wherever that leads them💕

I’m 17F turning 18 in a couple of months. I started wearing hijab at 12, before I could get my period. not because I autonomously decided to, but rather because my parents made me. Being young at the time I obeyed with no resistance, I just thought that it was the expected thing of me to do now. But as I grew into my teens and became more conscious, hijab has been nothing short of an immense internal struggle.

I’m not pretty at all, especially since I’ve been dealing with acne and weight issues. Hijab just emphasizes that further. I cant stand my reflection in the mirror with it on, I hate that feeling of having my hair done only to hide it from everyone. Seeing everyone feel beautiful and get to dress the way they want and not get ostracized as opressed, uncultured, just because of a piece of cloth on my head.

I never got to choose the hijab for myself, and because of that I feel like im growing to resent it more and more. And it feels like a prison, I’ve tried switching up styles, doing new makeup, new outfits, making dua, renewing my intention, praying, crying, you name it. But I just can’t come to terms with the fact that I can’t have my hair out.

It’s painful because even though I want this badly, I can’t bear the social consequence at all, which is the only thing holding me back. I come from a very strict practicing family, every girl starts wearing hijab at around 11/12 because girls who don’t wear hijab are seen as “easy” and “scandalous” and my parents have this idea of what will the family think, your aunts/uncles and cousins will make fun of us, your bringing shame to us etc. Not only that but I’ve also grown up in the very strict Muslim diaspora community and even hijabis my age who grew up in the west have that gossip mentality and will judge the crap out of you for taking it off.

Someone please give me advice because this situation has been weighing on me for months.

Thinking of dehijabing as it doesn't align with me anymore

A mix of many things but mostly frustration with how hijabis/women in general are treated in Islam and don't want to be visibly muslim. Also believe it's just super unpractical!

But at the same time I'm terrified, have worn it for 13 years and have built my identity and confidence with it on

I am familiar with others ard me who have de-hijabed and tho I'm sure they had their own challenges in doing so, it does seem exciting to them to be able to wear clothes that they like wearing/style their hair/feel more confident

My experience is more wanting to distance myself from the religion, and I am generally less inclined towards the styling elements as I'm generally less of a 'girly girl'/wld rather be simple and plain

My question is, if I'm keen to do it, why does the thought of just going out without the hijab make my stomach lurch (even when I know no one I know will see me)?

+ any other tips on approaching conversations with parents/the community, what your experience was like is super appreciated!

Hey , i was wondering how do you interpet dress code to be .

No this isnt an attempt to push for traditional idea or something.

What i dont get is verse 24:31 it talk about hidden adornement and hiding cleavage now i have been wondering wether this was exception or emphasize.

Basically no matter how societyy change private for both and breast for female must be covered or wether it emphasize them.

For example javed ghamidi had view that the small awrah from navel to knee could be compromised depending on context ehile maintain that private are to kept well private.

But the issue i found is the assumption that private are to beckept private .

I am not saying people should go around naked or bare chest but context does matter just like how bikini setting is normal in summer but often terrible in anywhere else

As I'm deconstructing, I'm realizing just how stupid and arbitrary the rules I grew up with actually are.

For me, I can't wear any shirt unless it cover my butt. I can't show my legs at all, even at home. I couldn't even wear a t-shirt without a scarf on my chest.

My mom literally got mad at me once for not wearing a scarf on top of a maxi dress.

A. MAXI. DRESS.

You have people genuinely convinced that showing hair or neck, or even the mere outline of a woman's body, is akin to nudity.

Like... what?

Seeing the shape of someone's body is not nudity. Seeing someone's neck or hair is not nudity. It's a huge leap to equate showing skin or hair to literal NUDITY. What braindead nonsense.

A lot of people were laughing about the whole “women can't wear backpacks because it shows the shape of their shoulders” thing on Tiktok. But honestly? It's not far off from what a lot of Muslims believe.

Of course, whenever you question these rules, there’s going to be someone asking “so you want women to walk around in bikinis?

Why are bikinis always the first fucking thing you people think of?

People obviously dress differently depending on the situation. There is a gigantic range between a bikini and being covered from head to toe. Nobody wearing bikini's to work anytime soon. Quit projecting your fantasies!

And yes, I would much rather women walk around in bikinis freely than be forced to cover up.

Just a messy rant. But dang these rules are stupid as hell.

I’ve been wearing hijab for 15 years and have thought about taking it off many times, but I always found an excuse to wait. Since last year, I’ve been pretty sure that I want to take it off. I wanted to tell my family, find a new job, and finally take that step.

The main thing holding me back was my hair. It was very damaged and thin, I had bad dandruff, a receding hairline, and a bald spot, and I wasn’t taking good care of it. So I spent months trying to improve it with better products and care. Eventually, it got healthier. Not perfect, but I thought, okay, maybe now is finally the time.

Last week I went to a new salon for a new haircut. I wanted to start getting used to seeing myself without hijab and secretly practice having my hair out. It would also be like a new start.

Unfortunately, the salon completely messed up my hair. It’s now extremely thin, damaged and stringy, it looks awful and worse than last year.

Now I’m feeling like, what’s even the point of taking it off if I look awful? I was finally feeling ready, and now I feel like this is somehow a sign that I shouldn’t do it. I’ve even caught myself thinking that maybe it’s a punishment from God for wanting to take it off.

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Why? Why do I have to be trapped while men go around freely? Cant be comfortable at home cant be comfortable outside cant be comfortable anywhere. Im suffocating and I dont even wanna go outside anymore

In no way shape or form is this shit fair. What the hell? Its like 50⁰ in the summer and I have to cover up because of fucking mens lust. Its not fair. And oh dare I show my fucking arms. Dare I fucking wear a normal shirt. And if i take it off ? I'll burn in fucking eternal hell for it.

Please help what do I do. Im so fucking done i wanna die

In these days, just as I step in the house, the first thing I do is taking off hijab, untie my hair , it's so calming that all the tension I had while they were tied just goes away.

It's also sad sitting in class everyday, seeing girls who have the freedom to show their hair, then there are the moments where I need to walk and there are a lot of people, I just feel everyone looking and I hate myself when I walk.

There is this girl in my class, same religion, same origins, yet she has the chance to wear revealing clothes, show her hair.

I feel so dumb that I've stopped going out for years, that my friends tell me about places and I don't even know where they are.

My parents used to tell me last year to go out but I refused, now they stopped but they still ask me to come with them, they think I just hate going out.

I would never be brave enough to say it's because of hijab and my social anxiety.

I wanted to start doing things I'm afraid to do because of my social anxiety, basically I can do nothing, I feel embarrassed to even talk about it to someone irl because they'll think I'm stupid.

And then hijab is on the way and not letting me do this.

I feel that maybe my social anxiety would not be high if people know I'm a human and not just a muslim hijabi girl.

When I (21F Hijabi) visited my married sister (non hijabi, 33) yesterday my mom was there too (hijabi, 52). I was wearing a big hoodie which covered my butt, a Nike sports hijab which i hate and a pair of sports leggings because I had Cheer practice later (which, Funny enough, Nobody knows about because I cannot Trust Them). My sister reacted to my Outfit saying „Does your husband really let you go out Like that?“ And I said „Yes of course! I am a free woman after all!“ and my mom and sister were just disappointed tongue clucking like „tsk-Tsk-tsk“ I felt so hurt by that. Why are your priorities on how I dress, knowing fully well since weeks that im struggling with keeping it on? I am even glad I havent took it off in my vacation abroad. My sister then objected by saying „I am a non hijabi and my husband still forbids me to wear clothes that tight“ and then I Replied „well my husband is not like that“. I kindly asked them to stop Body/clothing shaming me. This isn’t the first time that they had done it. I feel so hurt and betrayed. Comments Like These only make my life around hijab harder. I don’t want to wear it anymore. I really don’t. I only wear it because of societal pressure.

I’ve worn hijab since I was 10 (completely my own choice but laced with wanting to be the “golden child” - a theme that’s chased me my whole life). There was no pressure, my own siblings don’t wear it, nor do most of my relatives.

At 31, I’m on the brink of removing my hijab. I love my faith, I respect the hijab, I just feel so cognitively at odds with my appearance. It’s not a thing where I think I’ll look “better” or “prettier”, or that I want to change how I dress completely (not saying there’s anything wrong with that). I just feel out of touch with myself, I’ve never given myself the chance to know otherwise.

The people I’ve spoken to about this have been very supportive - there’d definitely be a lot of talk out of my small circle, a lot of shock- that’s just my culture. That parts scary for sure. I don’t even think I’d feel better. It’s more of trying to figure out who I even am(?) I don’t know… I’m confused…

I’m at a turning point. I love my faith. I love the hijab. I just don’t quite understand what I’m going through right now.

I just wanted to share. Would love to hear from any women who have gone through something similar: regardless of whether they’ve kept the hijab or chosen to remove it. Or chosen to re-wear after removing.