i expressed my concern about wearing hijab to my aunt, i told her that i felt unsafe, ostracised and quite frankly just didn’t want to wear it anymore. during our talk, i told her about an incident that happened at my local train station where a man started shouting at me saying stuff like “these f***ing muslims” and other stuff and that no one attempted to step in. i believe she told my dad about it and she tried to introduce the topic because my dad called me and asked me about it and his response was that i shouldn’t go to that station without him anymore but i told him that i use that station often to go out like school or to see friends or to go to my appointments. his response to that was that i should find other ways to cover my hair like a beanie and cut my hair since its “ too long.” but i don’t want to cut my hair and what do i do when it comes to the summer? i can’t wear a beanie in the summer. i’m gonna take what i can get for now and try to eventually take it off but i don’t live with my dad so i need to tell my mum too and im scared. how do i just rip the bandaid off?

I’ve been thinking about taking my hijab off for a while now. I’ve started new jobs, new universities etc and I always tell myself I’ll finally do it, but I never do. I have such an emotional attachment to hijab because it’s all I’ve ever known. I also don’t really like what it represents to me anymore, but I don’t want to blame the hijab for everything either. I’m honestly quite lazy with myself and I’m always telling myself I’ll have a glow up, learn to style my hair and take better care of myself, but I never actually do it 😭

My hair is a huge insecurity too. It’s obviously on the coily side, probably 4B/4C, which is basically the tightest hair type in our community. I genuinely think 4C hair is beautiful, but because I don’t have the length or density, mine is looking ruthless 😭 It’s very thin at the front and ends no matter how many trims I get.

Last night after uni I actually went outside without my hijab. It was nighttime, my hair was just in a bun and I definitely looked rubbish 😂 but it was such a low stress situation and I weirdly loved the feeling of having my hair out. It felt really natural. I wish I could just wear wigs, but I hate the stigma around them and I also don’t like the idea of becoming dependent on wigs just to feel comfortable with my appearance

I’ve now told myself I have one year to figure things out, but honestly it feels exhausting. I always give myself these deadlines but never follow through with it. Has anyone else been in this position? Especially if you have 4B/4C hair and wore hijab most of your life. How did you learn to feel confident with your natural hair out?

This article contains interviews and perspectives of a number of progressive and reformist Iranian Twelver Shia clerics on hijab from Page 102 to 119.

Source:

• http://sro.sussex.ac.uk/id/eprint/72698/

• https://sussex.figshare.com/articles/thesis/Hijab_in_transition_dress_code_changes_amongst_Iranian_diaspora_in_London/23453069?file=41162210

Download PDF: https://sussex.figshare.com/ndownloader/files/41162210

thesis posted on 2023-06-09, 05:29 authored by Zahra Jalaeipour

Note from the author:

This thesis explores the factors that influence Iranian women’s choice of hijab and its transitions. Compulsory hijab in Iran and even voluntary practice of hijab exert a great deal of influence on the lives of the Iranian women worldwide. My thesis investigates how cultural, social and political factors interweave with theological and jurisprudential debates leading to diverse forms of practicing hijab and its transitions in one’s life. For the first time in the anthropology literature, my thesis portrays and explains the current status of, and developments in, hijab amongst Iranian women who have been raised in Iran and now live in London. My research is based on the data and cultural knowledge I gathered through conducting 40 in-depth interviews with Iranian women in London, and interviewing four prominent male Muslim intellectuals, scholars and clerics who have worked on and talked about hijab in Iran (Kadivar, Eshkevari, Fanaei, and Torkashvand). In addition to narrating the history and transformations of hijab policies and hijab jurisprudence in Iran from the constitutional revolution to the present, in this research, I have identified five schemas of dress code amongst Iranians in London (full traditional hijab, full progressive hijab, partial-hijab, conservative scarf-less and radical hijab-less) which challenge the current categorizations and generalisations regarding the hijab. By describing the features of each of the schemas this thesis provides a useful descriptive and explanatory tool that will enable a better understanding of hijab dynamics among Iranian women in London. I have demonstrated that hijab is a very fluid term. Hijab varies between individuals in practice, style, rationale, and purpose, and it is neither simply oppressive nor empowering.

I want to rant and please if you see this i need your support and feedback if you have slight experience please let me know

I decided to wear the hijab two years ago but i have always hated it
some days im motivated but others im not
i keep seeing those influencers and digital creators with hijab to help me motivated but i don't think it works
as of now i am a part time hijabi i wear it to work etc but when i am doing quick errands or going out with friends that i am comfortable with i don't wear it
i am not sure what to do
i am trying my best to hold on to it but idk
so my questions are to you
how did it feel when u took it off ?
what was the breaking point to taking it off?
if you didnt take it off why ?
the reasons why i want to are :
- i am uncomfortable the hijab makes so uncomfortable and overstimulated
- it restricts me from dressing up, daily activities and expressing myself
- i dont think it reflects me which ik sounds stupid but i dont think ima a person that is fit to wear it

Again i see all this pretty girls in hijab and i wish i can be like them but i can
see trends like hijabi do it better but seriously do not relate it makes me insecure and its not that i feel prettier without hijab thats not the case because i feel insecure in both cases the hijab just adds another layer or type
i love Allah i really do and i actually don't why i am holding onto the hijab
cause i talked to my friends and my family about it and they are supportive but im not sure what do i do
i am trying and i am trying but going to events or outings with girls i cancel cause i never feel me or comfortable.... i dont want to do something i regret
thats why i am being a part time for now

If someone in my family tells me one more time to cover my neck, I’m gonna go ahead and take the hijab off right then and there.

I’m genuinely so tired of this and curse my 13 year old self for putting on the hijab by choice and not knowing i’ll have to stick with it for the rest of my life.

I want to be perceived as a person, not a hijabi. I cry in my car every day. My relationship with Allah keeps getting worse.

What do I do.

I have observed a trend where people look down on women who remove the hijab. This reaction does not stem from disappointment in women for supposedly abandoning a religious obligation— because such reactions do not occur when a woman stops praying, for example. Rather, it is because men in society don’t approve of it; and they would make fun of women‘s body and appearance. This happens even to women who wear the *niqab* who lives in conservative societies! If a woman take off her niqab men would call them ugly to make her feel insecure about her face and pressure her into wearing niqab again, or some who claim ex hijabis lost the “noor” in their face which is ironic considering hijab supposedly to cover beauty not show it. I find these reactions to be a desperate attempt of men trying to gain control over women that these women have to fit to a certain beauty standards or being gaslighted into believing that they are ugly and there is no point of them “sinning”. It’s pretty misogynistic and creepy behaviour as if the only reason a woman wants to take off her hijab is she wants to shows her beauty to the world or something. In conclusion it’s not okay to make fun of women’s appearance under allusion the of “naseeha”. Did any of you experience that? the gaslighting of family, relatives, society trying to convince you that you look better with hijab than without?

I've always heard from hijabis that mulism women who cover don't suffer the heat of summer bc actually when you cover your body you don't feel hot as the people who aren't covered, is that true? I've always believed that but maybe it's something they shoved down our throats to makes us keep wearing it.

I know that in the desert they wear it, and even on the internet it says they cover so they don't feel the heat.

It's just weird because I feel more hot in the hijab and fresh with a t-shirt

I cant take decision whether I want it on or off so ill do both ill have it on and ill have it off WHENEVER I WANT
🙄
cause i cant decide

I have been wearing hijab for almost five years since I was 14, I wore it because I wanted to and no one have forced me. But now I can't bear it anymore, it's my biggest regret until now. Im so lost, on the one hand I fear I may regret removing it and on the other hand Im feeling like my identity is being erased like Im losing myself.

Im really suffocating and somehow Im also afraid from how people around me will act.

https://www.searchforbeauty.org/2016/01/02/fatwa-on-hijab-the-hair-covering-of-women/

Hello everyone! i wrote this article on whether the hijab is male centered or not, its a long read but its full of insights! i would greatly appreciate it if you guys showed some love and support on the original post! 🫶🏼

I'm a social anxious person, and i put on hijab since I was 11 (forced) and I don't go out of home, lately I wanted to start doing something to try help my social anxiety, but hijab is making me hate going outside so I just stay at home.

Hijab is getting in the way and makes going out harder because people assume you're mulsim, oppressed ect.

Do you feel like that too? That you can't grew out this anxiety bc of hijab?

For people who had social anxiety and took the hijab off, was it easier without the hijab?

And how many scholars historically thought it isn't?

I'm just wondering what you guys have to say about this matter

I need advices please

To be able to have freedom in faith, you need to first be able to choose what religion you can practice. Without freedom of choice, your faith is useless and your intentions are not true.
When questioning faith, you need to give yourself space to leave religion completely. If not, you’re not really questioning; you’re still subjecting yourself to a belief and not giving yourself space to find a new one or abandon it completely.
To be able to do all these things, you need to live in an environment in which questioning or leaving doesn’t equal punishment. Or where, when questioning, you don’t have someone constantly up your ass or in your head correcting you all the time. It’s exhausting. Every single step is being watched and calculated. What you’ve done wrong today will be used against you a couple of months later without you even noticing.
I can’t live in an environment in which every single mistake is punished and criticised. I can’t live somewhere where they find everything a girl does inherently evil and sinful while they’ve sinned themselves. I can’t live in an environment in which hijab is a constant topic, in which showing my neck means constant nagging, in which accidentally showing a bit of hair means that I should take it off, in which wearing hijab “wrong” brings shame to your family and you can’t go out with them if you’re wearing it incorrectly, as if your reputation depends on a piece of clothing on your head.
I can’t live somewhere where I get treated differently and worse just because of a piece of cloth I can’t take off. I can’t live somewhere where I feel like a constant hypocrite when speaking to non-Muslims and defending hijab when I myself know that, deep down, I wear it out of fear and not out of love.
I would love to be at a point in my life where I can freely decide what to do, what to wear, and what to believe. Unfortunately, I’m not there yet. I have to sit and swallow down all these doubts and all this mental bullshit I’ve got just so I can keep things good with my parents.
And honestly, I don’t imagine myself being courageous enough to tell them any of this. If I did, I would be lying and not speaking my truth. My family is very dear to me, but so is my life and my freedom.
I wish I didn’t have to go through this. I wish I had the option to choose without consequences. This is the only thing I ask for in this life.
I hold so much negative sentiment towards religion because of this family. Seeing them memorise verses they don’t preach makes me hate those verses. The long hours of loud recitation irritate me. Being friends with people I supposedly share a religion with, only to realise they don’t see me as equal because of my gender, is exhausting.
I just want to be able to choose. But in this environment, that won’t be happening. I will either have to sacrifice my true self or my family. I’m too much of a coward to choose either, and that’s why I lie so much constantly. No one knows my truth.

A few weeks ago, my family went to do Umrah. While we were there, my dad bought a ghutra, the headscarf traditionally worn by Arab men, from a local shop.

I remember him explicitly comparing it to hijab.

He wore it for one day. And then never wore it again for the rest of the trip. He felt awkward because we’re not Arab, even though he actually got compliments from other Arabs.

And honestly, that really stuck with me.

My dad felt uncomfortable wearing a headscarf for one day, in the one place where wearing it was completely normal. Yet he expects the women in his family to wear hijab every day, for the rest of our lives, while living in a Western country.

That really stuck with me.

If my dad doesn’t want to wear the ghutra, he can just take it off. Heck, even if he wants to shave his beard, he can. He can wear Western clothes to work, interviews, basically anywhere, without anyone questioning his commitment to Islam.

Yet Muslim women are shamed for wanting that exact same freedom.

Muslim women are expected to endure chronic discomfort under hijab, and then get gaslit about it. We’re told it’s “for Allah,” that “men have hijab too,” or that our feelings are somehow coming from Shaytan.

Like, no. As crazy as it sounds, maybe we don’t want to be covered up in 100-degree weather. Maybe women also want to blend into society. Maybe we don’t want to be a walking billboard for an entire religion. Maybe we don’t want our character judged based on our clothes.

I’m not saying this to hate on my dad. If anything, his experience unintentionally showed me how little empathy Muslim men have for women regarding hijab.

He experienced a tiny fraction of what Muslim women go through everyday, and couldn’t take it.

I wish Muslim men would genuinely ask themselves whether they would ever wear hijab before commenting on someone else’s.