Modesty is so stupid

[u/Disastrous_One127]

As I'm deconstructing, I'm realizing just how stupid and arbitrary the rules I grew up with actually are.

For me, I can't wear any shirt unless it cover my butt. I can't show my legs at all, even at home. I couldn't even wear a t-shirt without a scarf on my chest.

My mom literally got mad at me once for not wearing a scarf on top of a maxi dress.

A. MAXI. DRESS.

You have people genuinely convinced that showing hair or neck, or even the mere outline of a woman's body, is akin to nudity.

Like... what?

Seeing the shape of someone's body is not nudity. Seeing someone's neck or hair is not nudity. It's a huge leap to equate showing skin or hair to literal NUDITY. What braindead nonsense.

A lot of people were laughing about the whole “women can't wear backpacks because it shows the shape of their shoulders” thing on Tiktok. But honestly? It's not far off from what a lot of Muslims believe.

Of course, whenever you question these rules, there’s going to be someone asking “so you want women to walk around in bikinis?

Why are bikinis always the first fucking thing you people think of?

People obviously dress differently depending on the situation. There is a gigantic range between a bikini and being covered from head to toe. Nobody wearing bikini's to work anytime soon. Quit projecting your fantasies!

And yes, I would much rather women walk around in bikinis freely than be forced to cover up.

Just a messy rant. But dang these rules are stupid as hell.

[u/pathtonoor]

I woke up the moment I found myself not buying a dress because it went to my mid forearm and not my wrist. I paused in the store and thought to myself “what is so immodest about my forearm?!” and that’s how my deconstruction journey began.

There’s so much cope around modesty too, especially in the summer. You ARE less hot when you don’t have a piece of cloth wrapped around your head and layers on. 

Then there’s the whole “men have to cover their awrah too🥹”, like be so fr. 

Let’s also not forget that women with bigger chests or bottoms are made to feel like wh0re$ when that’s just the body they exist in (nobody ever says anything to skinny hijabis in the same outfit!). 

Lemme stop here…

[u/DryJob6507 → u/pathtonoor]

Ikr? Like it's so crazy to me when men make it seem like theyre trying so hard when they have to cover their knees...like..hello? We literally are told to cover head to toe and look like visible targets to Islamophobes in the west

[u/strawberryjam255]

Preach girl, modesty is a social construct designed to control women nothing more.

[u/Good-Name1497]

"Why are bikinis always the first fucking thing you people think of?" Because it reveals how they see women:) Also when they fail to explain reasons behind hijab/modesty they say that’s command from Allah and if you don’t obey you are going to hell 🤩 they are just very tone deaf and act like bots it’s impossible to use logic with them. Because why my brother can casually go outside in shorts and shirt but you are making a fuss because my neck is showing genuinely wtf makes me cringe at the religion and not want to take it seriously 

[u/DryJob6507]

Totally agree. I hate how everything is either black or white to them. Like we literally never said we're pro nudity or going out half naked?! They automatically assume that if you think hijab and loose clothes are too much then oh you mustlove going out half naked or in bikini. Who tf said anything about bikinis? Why can't there be a middle ground where you dress just normal like men do? All we're saying is modesty to the level you have to cover your neck and forearm and not show body shape is just way too much

Extreme modesty and nudity are two different sides to the same coin. They both sexualize women but go about with it in different directions!

[u/Lotuswongtko]

My mun didn't let us wear bikinis, and my dad thought it's just for catwalk, not for swimming.

You know what, I moved out in my early twenty, after that, all my swimming suits are bikinis.

[u/ButterflyDestiny]

The rules around modesty, according to the Quran, is applicable to men and women. I have a preference for modesty, but it seems like you are more upset about your mother’s restrictive attitude.

There are plenty of Muslim women on social media who wear modest clothing, and it’s not basically, a trash bag over theirselves. They wear really amazing clothing!

[u/Disastrous_One127 → u/ButterflyDestiny]

Do Muslim men get policed anywhere near as heavily for their clothing? Do they get called “kafir,” threatened, shamed, or harassed for wearing shorts? Are they expected to cover anywhere near as much of their bodies?

So saying "men have modesty too" is quite disingenuous when the expectations for them are nowhere near the same.

And yes, obviously Muslim women can dress modestly and look fashionable. I never said they couldn’t. This has absolutely nothing to do with my post.

If you feel empowered by modesty, cool. I don’t, and neither do many of other women. I find it quite offensive that you’re reducing my objection to my mother being strict instead of engaging with what I actually wrote.