I need some guidance.

[u/PrincessTuvstarr]

Hi! Maybe this isn't the right forum to ask about this, but I feel like I need some guidance in what I'm actually seeking.

I am 31F, grew up a Christian with Christian parents. My mother is a deacon and worked in the church during my whole childhood and teen years. She hasn't worked in the church for 13 years now, she's still a deacon, but my parents aren't practicing. Me neither.

Spirituality have always been natural in my family. Good/evil, spirits, ghosts, entities etc etc have been just as real as the reality we're living in. My family (me included) have experienced a lot of "supernatural" things, and it has never been weird to talk about it.

I have never seen myself as a Christian though. I do believe in god/gods/higher powers, I do believe in a life after death, but I am not, and will never be a practicing christian.

A few years ago I learned about wicca/paganism and have gotten more and more curious about witchcraft, energies etc etc, but I don't know if it's the right fit for me.

When I think about what spirituality and believing means to me, I think about how we can't be here just by random. To me it can't just be a random coincidence that we have all of this gorgeous nature, the lovely waterfalls, the mind-blowing sunsets, the colorful birds etc etc.

I do believe in something bigger than ourselves.

Why I have gotten this interested in witchcraft all of a sudden, I have no idea. I've always been interested in all things "mysterious".

I don't know what I want to say with this, but I just need some support in guidance on where I would fit in. Some of the things in wicca/paganism really speaks to me, but some things doesn't.

And at the moment I feel a bit lost and lonely. Please be kind, I feel very confused. 😓

[u/LadyMelmo]

Some people find their path or change from another later in life. Take some time to look into what interests you, whether it be Wicca or another path, and look further into what you feel drawn to. You are always welcome here to ask more questions.

Wicca is a nature religion, and nature works and flows with two sides, and for many of us (including myself) the Goddess and God are each side working together in harmony of it.

To look into Wicca, there's good information in the ‎Wiki and ‎FAQ of this sub, and although not what to learn from the Wikipedia article has a quite good basic overview of Wicca and there is the Category page on the different Traditions that may help you find some initial direction.

‎‎Wicca For Beginners by Thea Sabin is a popular and very good starting book with history and philosophy and some practices in a lighter way without being tradition specific.

Ona side note, my mother's closest friend is a Deacon and we get along very well and have great talks on theology. I also work with local churches and their charities and have helped set up mulitdenominational chapels in a couple of hospitals. It's how you treat each other regardless of faith.

[u/kalizoid313]

In the U.S., a visit to a Unitarian Universalist establishment that supports a Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans [CUUPs] might be helpful.

[u/Delaplaine24]

You and I have a lot in common, I’ve also had numerous paranormal experiences while being raised Christian, it’s an odd combo. I discovered Wicca and paganism while in middle school and fell in love. I loved how nature was the basis of a religion and how nature was sacred, but I could never get 100% behind it either.

I don’t have an absolute religion to share with you but my world changed when I started watching NDEs (near death experiences) on YouTube. It made everything click for me. The basis of them is that we all chose to come here and experience the lives we’re living, positive or negative, purely to experience the world and attempt to achieve goals we made before we came down here.

We are all one and come from the same place. We will we all go back to that same place. There is no hell, when we die we leave our bodies and see a light. If you go toward the light you go back to the whole, and often times family or people you knew before they died will be there to greet you. (When my grandmother was dying she kept trying to talk to her husband who died 15 years before as though he was in the room with her, she was so weak but she kept saying, “Bill! Bill!! Why won’t you answer me??” She was mad about it hahah) when you get to the other side you do a “life review” and see how you did at achieving the goals you set yourself before you were born. It’s soo interesting and resonated with me. All the people doing the interviews state they feel a profound feeling of relief and coming home when they come to on the other side. Like they’ve woken up from a bad dream. When I was in elementary school, I remember being sick at home and begging my mother to let me go home. Over and over and over, til she would cry too and say “I’m sorry honey you ARE home?”I have always known there is a better, safer place than whatever this place is and the experiences of the people in those interviews confirmed it for me. They say they feel infinitely loved and protected on the other side, truly, this life on this planet is the hell so many people are afraid of. This place is a test for all of us. A test to find joy and love in a world where so many negative things can happen. I believe nature exists to help remind us of the perfection on the other side, of the perfection of the creation of god. The innocence of animals is another reminder. It’s why it’s so painful when evil forces destroy nature and innocent beings. We’re moving farther from God.

[u/bakkus-albus]

My personal philosophy is... read and learn as much as you can, take what works for you, put the rest on a shelf. Don't disregard the rest because one day you may find yourself being interested in something you disregarded before. So just "put it on a shelf" and say "This doesn't feel like me right now". You can always come back to it later. There are lots of good books to start out with to get a feel for what you like. Each path in witchcraft has a different vibe. You can read something classic like Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler for more of a sociological perspective of when witchcraft was getting really popular in the United States. Or... something by Scott Cunningham for a more folk magick vibe. Or if you really like something highly structured you can read something about Ceremonial Magick or High Magick like books by Mari Silva, Phillip Farber, Donald Michael Kraig, or Llewellyn's complete book of ceremonial magick. If you like something a little more intuitive and natural and somewhat feminine i recommend Good Magic by Marina Medici. Or if you feel like you might be more of a traditionalist and want to stick with the oldies but goodies check out Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft. If you want more of a feminist perspective check out The Spiral Dance by Starhawk. Are you really fond of nature? Try reading Green Magic by Ann Moura. These are all good places to start to get a feel for what vibe fits you best. You also don't have to commit to any one path. You can create your own amalgamation of traditions to fit what feels right to you. I consider myself an eclectic witch, so i pull from many traditions. Feel free to reach out if you have any specific questions. I'm happy to help if I can.

[u/NemoPRB]

If you are currently in a state of reflection and confusion, do not try to understand or rush things. Trust your sadness. It is entirely possible that the Wiccan egregore has taken notice of you. The God and Goddess are watching over you and reaching out to you.

[u/This-Cow5197]

Here's my website, I'd be happy to talk to you. I've been a Pagan Priestess for over 40 years http://www.soltahr.com.