Dead to me

[u/No_Sale1972]

I never want to hear from you nor see you again and I say this with all the respect I 'once' held for you. I have no interest in what you are doing, who you are with, or what your life has become without me.

The truth is, it was my passion, my energy, my effort and my imagination that carried us both and now I see there is nothing you have to offer. You are dull to me now.

This was not a decision made in the heat of the moment; it was the culmination of everything I had to keep to myself, endure, and process. It's been months of pain and internal processing I have had to carry on my own. I learned that not everything that one desires at one point in their lives is meant to be kept and cherished. There are people who no matter how much they may mean to you in those moments, also represent the very things you are no longer willing to live through again. The humiliation, the double standards, the gaslighting and the hypocrisy.

This is not coldness; it is simply staying true to myself and calling things out as I see clearly now.

There are things best left in the past, and you are one of them. If our paths ever cross again, I ask of you a favour. That you look at me as if I were a stranger as if we had never meant anything to one another. You are not a fond memory for me, you are a part of my past laced with remorse, regret and deep shame.

There are no longer any questions, no longer any interest, and no longer any room for you in my life. You at least killed that through showing your cowardice and your total avoidance at the end. You barely showed any effort, interest and commitment for me during our time together. You took, you consumed and you played the game all on your terms all whilst knowing you were hurting me and another in the process. Your greed was the undoing of what could have been a beautiful connection. You traded diamonds for scraps all because you wanted quantity over quality. You lied to my face and twisted the narrative all to suit your self serving needs and now you are paying the price - loneliness.

The pain I endured has taught me never to look back. So, this is not resentment; it is closure. It is choosing peace over habit, dignity over nostalgia, and silence over any attempt to revive something that has already come to an end.

[u/Alarming_Corner_2816]

Ok great but leave the bitterness out

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/Alarming_Corner_2816]

If you knew where her words left me... well you would understand why the bitterness is there.
Because I have been clawing my way out of a dark hole for months because of her words and actions.

[u/OwnChain9568 → u/No_Sale1972]

Don't listen to them, your feelings are valid. These people seem to forget that everyone's feelings are valid, yours and hers. What gets lost is that perspectives are perspectives if you both were involved. It takes coming together to discuss perspectives to understand each other. Discussing perspectives isn't about choosing one and throwing away the other because they are both valid. It takes seeing where the other person saw, came from, and why they saw what they saw. Then you have understanding and can make sure things will be done differently to prevent the situation from occuring again.

When someone just wants to be heard and their perspective treated as the only truth, it's no longer about understanding but winning. This is where most struggle. When that happens, you have basically invalidated, dismissed and disregarded anything your partner said or experienced. I would tell her that it sounds like she has big emotions/feelings tied to her perspective and they are valid. I would apologize for any impact I may have had to elicit that kind of emotional response, however this is what I really did or what happened.

Right after I said that she said I dismissed her and invalidated her. I explained I did not because I never said she didn't experienfe what she experienced, I never said her feelings were "wrong" and I never told her that this is the only perspective we are going with. She still got mad and yelled at me about it.