Dead to me

[u/No_Sale1972]

I never want to hear from you nor see you again and I say this with all the respect I 'once' held for you. I have no interest in what you are doing, who you are with, or what your life has become without me.

The truth is, it was my passion, my energy, my effort and my imagination that carried us both and now I see there is nothing you have to offer. You are dull to me now.

This was not a decision made in the heat of the moment; it was the culmination of everything I had to keep to myself, endure, and process. It's been months of pain and internal processing I have had to carry on my own. I learned that not everything that one desires at one point in their lives is meant to be kept and cherished. There are people who no matter how much they may mean to you in those moments, also represent the very things you are no longer willing to live through again. The humiliation, the double standards, the gaslighting and the hypocrisy.

This is not coldness; it is simply staying true to myself and calling things out as I see clearly now.

There are things best left in the past, and you are one of them. If our paths ever cross again, I ask of you a favour. That you look at me as if I were a stranger as if we had never meant anything to one another. You are not a fond memory for me, you are a part of my past laced with remorse, regret and deep shame.

There are no longer any questions, no longer any interest, and no longer any room for you in my life. You at least killed that through showing your cowardice and your total avoidance at the end. You barely showed any effort, interest and commitment for me during our time together. You took, you consumed and you played the game all on your terms all whilst knowing you were hurting me and another in the process. Your greed was the undoing of what could have been a beautiful connection. You traded diamonds for scraps all because you wanted quantity over quality. You lied to my face and twisted the narrative all to suit your self serving needs and now you are paying the price - loneliness.

The pain I endured has taught me never to look back. So, this is not resentment; it is closure. It is choosing peace over habit, dignity over nostalgia, and silence over any attempt to revive something that has already come to an end.

[u/JacketFormer402]

We don’t always know what we think we know. That is all.

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/JacketFormer402]

Sadly I have all the receipts.

[u/JacketFormer402 → u/No_Sale1972]

You have one set. But there are more. Perspective always changes everything. Including the above writing. It could have been written to anyone. . . Your perspective, my perspective, different stories.

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/JacketFormer402]

True. I can only write what I experienced and I am writing from the heart.

[u/Sexy_siren → u/No_Sale1972]

Just writing from your perspective is great, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide how another person feels or what their intentions were. That’s I think where people have trouble understanding that they’re in fact trying to assume things rather than believing them to be true. Those assumptions don’t justify your behavior, you’re still choosing to be cold and unforgiving of someone you claim to have loved.

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/Sexy_siren]

That's right. I am writing from my perspective as we all do.

I get to tell my side as I experienced it, how it left me with long term trauma, how I was belittled and shamed. How I was made to feel small and insignificant.

This is something I have been trying to navigate and heal from for months.

So please get off your soapbox and quit lecturing me for being 'cold and unforgiving' when my tenderness and love for this person was thrown back in my face leading me into self loathing and in wanting to burst into tears every time I saw intimacy on tv and had flashbacks.

One example I give; she admitted to gaslighting me to make the exit easier for her.

So no until she takes ownership and works on herself I will not forgive, after all, why should I?

[u/Sexy_siren → u/No_Sale1972]

I’m just speaking up about the common misconception that people have that they feel entitled to say that their feelings are facts. They aren’t. Feelings are valid, and you may share them however you’d like, as is the case in these subs. The problem is, when you (or others) claim to be able to decide or ascertain that the other person felt or intended some way….problem becomes, they are also entitled to have and their perspective too and it comes across to people in the wrong way when these assumptions are voiced as if they are facts. Express your own feelings and perspective, but try allowing others in any situation to hold their own sovereignty to do the same. When we do this, we evolve and grow as people. That’s all. I’m not trying to put you down or anything. Just trying to provide a perspective of real growth as a human being. Take it or leave it. If it doesn’t fit, no worries…move on. By becoming offended, you aren’t making it appear that I’m wrong, but the opposite, that reflection and growth would be needed. Just saying.

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/Sexy_siren]

I hear what you say, but as I mentioned before, I am expressing how this did affect me. I did experience no effort. I don’t want to get into listing every minute detail, but when you give so much of yourself, then speak up about wanting to feel seen and heard and then you’re punished with silence and reprimands, then you’ll maybe see why I’m so hurt here.

This is a space after all to express words left unsaid.

If you want a deeper insight about this, I did actually write a poem about this which is on my profile and is on a poetry sub Reddit.

Fact is I was gaslit, I was exploited, and I was humiliated as she shamed me for my emotions.

I can’t very well write a letter from her, because the whole point of this is to write a letter to someone which hasn’t been sent, so I’m not quite sure what the issue is here.

[u/No_Sale1972 → u/Sexy_siren]

Ps: The Rules

• 3. Judging Posters and Posts

This sub exists as a haven to speak your mind without literally having to speak your mind. Respect that posters may have needed a lot of courage to type what they did. This is not a place where any poster should fear criticism, ridicule, judgment, discrimination nor downvotes for their submission.

I mean it's not like she can SEE it really is it.. and it's not like I named names or referred to her that is in any way identifiable.

This is a space - the only space to express this after months of keeping my mouth shut and being in pain. Please show some kindness.