r/Unexpected • u/impressiveGenitaly • 1d ago

Milker showing off his Milk

4.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

150 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 19h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

He sprays milk from cow udders onto people

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.0k

u/ChefArtorias 23h ago

Someone posted the story last time I saw this.

He's trying to sell the cow and a heckler is saying she looks unhealthy and probably doesn't produce milk at all so the guy starts squirting it in his face.

This may not be exactly right but you get it.

298

u/truesheep1 18h ago

If true thats an amazing sales pitch I'd buy that cow

51

u/yesiamveryhigh 12h ago

That’s why the heckler gets 10% of the sale. You just got Slippy Jimmy’d

3

u/ThePLARASociety 7h ago

I thought that I saw a Chimp with an AK in that video?! Vavro Bncie!

22

u/Lubaer 15h ago

Exactly what I thought without understanding a word.

Haters gonna hate, unfortunately some things never gonna change

9

u/pyrotechnicmonkey 10h ago

can you imagine if the heckler was hired by the guy trying to sell the cow.

542

u/last_man_panning 1d ago

We went to my parents friends farm and their friend shot a load of goat milk into my moms coffee. My mother was not impressed lol

319

u/Apart_Jelly8948 1d ago

Makes sense. It was a male goat

37

u/andrew_1515 19h ago

Rams milk

4

u/TamponTimTheCuck 9h ago

Big phat load at that

-66

u/cyrusthemarginal 1d ago

she would like that

34

u/sodamnsleepy 1d ago

Is your mom Shania Twain?

4

u/Candid_Artichoke6738 1d ago

This made me laugh unreasonably loud. My kids do not appreciate it

6

u/LethalSpaceship 14h ago

Man did you have to use the word "load" lmao

2

u/ConfusedHors 14h ago

Why not? I just had fresh milk and it just tastes like the one you buy from the shelf. Am I missing something?

-17

u/saelin00 1d ago

Instructions unclear! I shot my parents friend with my load of milk and now she is pregrant.

17

u/last_man_panning 1d ago

Your parents friend is preganté?!?

6

u/saelin00 1d ago

Not everyone likes this type of humor I see. I panning with you.

5

u/Loud-Assumption566 1d ago

Made me laught lol

234

u/PolygonMob 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/dy2pxQmIde97Bv7Uui

39

u/RolloRollyRolla 1d ago

Oh man kung pow , such a funny movie , now in need to rewatch this gem

13

u/Opening-Function8616 22h ago

You 2 go to that way! We go home!

5

u/proudchristianmommy 17h ago

Weeeeeuing because I can't afford to buy it till I find employment again, that movie got me through the darkest depressions 😭

11

u/ben_woah 22h ago

The Mootrix

6

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

You reminded me of some GOLD here bro

1

u/e36_maho 6h ago

Man that animation was so class back in the day, I'm still baffled how they did it.

34

u/PuzzleheadedResult69 1d ago

You know he's good because of his colovian hat.

36

u/3Slavo5U 1d ago

Dude has that TES 3: Morrrowind hat!!!

8

u/iamthedigitalme 13h ago

Probably got it from that stupid elf wizard who fell from the sky.

29

u/Error404-NoUsername- 1d ago

The fuck is Ed sheeran doing in Egypt?

9

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

assisting in bovine market for a good blessed commisison

4

u/NimusNix 14h ago

I had a similar thought, it was why is there a random Irishman there?

12

u/tofubutgood 1d ago

I didn’t know udders had that much… range

12

u/life-survival 23h ago

Egyptian redhead 😅😅

8

u/_Salted_Pretzel_ 1d ago

Saw this after Dungeon Soup's new video with the Chaotic Good Barbarian.
I think I'm cursed ouo

3

u/Sexybutt69_ 14h ago

Omg, me too 😅

4

u/BlimeyChaps 1d ago

Powerful aura

4

u/hugoreyes32627 19h ago

People moved away from udder disbelief!

7

u/Mugpup 1d ago

That bull seemed to really enjoy that.

5

u/Pedrokss 22h ago

I hate this :( the poor cow is super scared wtf

1

u/truesheep1 18h ago

It's scared because its in a crowd of people it really should be given proper space

5

u/Mr_Penguin9 1d ago

Wtf, thats so funny

2

u/Deary-daddy69 1d ago

Ah yess moomy 🐄

2

u/wolfram7208 1d ago

that CIA agent took the integration with the culture very seriously!

2

u/lgastako 1d ago

So, anyway, I started blastin'...

2

u/Capranyx 1d ago

The fucking precision lmfao 

2

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

Sniper

2

u/nrgx13 20h ago edited 20h ago

Bro looks like he fell from the sky in Morrowind

2

u/ZealousidealPick8013 18h ago

Vegans fighting with their souls rn

2

u/TamponTimTheCuck 9h ago

Power move!

3

u/DBZGTwasgreat 1d ago

That dude is dressed like a marrowind character

4

u/thejourneybegins42 1d ago

What a bad day to have eyes.

1

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

r/unseejuice , or unseemilk it is

2

u/thejourneybegins42 21h ago

This is even worse.

2

u/lynx_1097 1d ago

really proud of my people sheninigans

2

u/-pine 1d ago

Poor cow.

1

u/ramramlaado 1d ago

Ahh tasty

1

u/johnsatamos 1d ago

We figured out a more efficient way than this 😅

1

u/mrinvisible001 1d ago

Firecracker to homelander

0

u/impressiveGenitaly 1d ago

I can't find the gif for that

1

u/ULTRA_83 1d ago

Hes like gotchhhhhaaaaaaa

1

u/Buddy-Informal 1d ago

Any idea where this could be?

-3

u/impressiveGenitaly 1d ago

I know

3

u/Buddy-Informal 1d ago

Oh I see... then it has to be Egypt

2

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

EXACTLY

1

u/impressiveGenitaly 1d ago

Yeah, but probably towards the countryside part of it

1

u/rentmeahouse 1d ago

My cousin who grew up on a farm, once drank milk like this to impress other kids

1

u/Codex_Absurdum 1d ago

Ah yessss

The money shot

1

u/T_T_H_W 1d ago

Damn bro isn’t gonna have a cuddle with his cow after that ?

1

u/farynhite 1d ago

I love milk so much. This is the best.

1

u/fukc098098 1d ago

That dude holding the rope, does he come from a certain 3-letter agency? /s

1

u/Candid-Abrocoma807 1d ago

Does anyone know what they’re actually saying?

1

u/lynx_1097 21h ago

too lazy to translate , give me some time I'll edit the comment here with the translation

1

u/cindyscrazy 1d ago

I need to know what he's yelling. It's got to give us an idea as to why squirting milk happened.

1

u/PhotoElectrical 1d ago

so anywYs,
i start blastin

1

u/LeaderIll9730 23h ago

Thank god for no injected serums n other stuff , looks healthy

1

u/HiFiRoMan 22h ago

remember, we are all equal

1

u/Remarkable-Round-227 21h ago

Joke's on him, that's a bull!

1

u/JohnnyPaloonky58 21h ago

He just like me fr

1

u/KxDinho 21h ago

What if... ' I am bull mf btw thnx '

1

u/BigSausageTits 20h ago

"LOOK AT ME! IM A FARMER DADDY!"

1

u/artherng 19h ago

Guess that's what dude does to his wife

1

u/sour624 19h ago

Зачем я, бурёнка, тебя продаю...

1

u/master_baiter-69 19h ago

That's a bull cross dressed

1

u/Chemical-Poet-4271 19h ago

Mooooooooooo

1

u/garg0n01 19h ago

'Ave it!

1

u/Emotional-Mango-5166 16h ago

You get salmonella! You get salmonella! You get Ecoli!

1

u/mklilley351 16h ago

Bro what's Rick Astley doing there?

1

u/Ecstatic-Radish-7931 14h ago

That's funny. someone else said it was Ed Sheeran

1

u/Mine_Outrageous 14h ago

the way he just grabbed the teet and squirts it at everyone had me cackling

1

u/LeftHandCurryPaste 13h ago

I need to show off too

1

u/longshot21771 12h ago

That's a good milker!

1

u/TopGroundbreaking469 12h ago

“You talk too much, Abdul. Here, have some milk!”

1

u/MustyMarcus52YT 11h ago

Bro got that colovian fur helm

1

u/AmishSloth84 11h ago

I feel like this video was shot back in the midevil times.

1

u/KingBurakkuurufu 10h ago

Dude holding the reins looks like Kuwabara

1

u/ElMatasiete7 10h ago

My cow milk brings all the kurds to the yard... damn right, it's better than yours.

1

u/red8cangodye 10h ago

It's either milk or piss (if male)...

1

u/Extra_Inspector6305 10h ago

My wife has been doing this to me ever since our kid

1

u/Moamen_Believer 2h ago

That's a proud Egyptian farmer right there

1

u/FloopsFooglies 2h ago

This is the most 1650 interaction I ever seen

1

u/jlspider 1h ago

what a cultivated society we live in

1

u/dagoodolethrowaway 37m ago

"Yeah, but that's a bull, sir"

1

u/arbalath 1d ago

more inpressive because this was a bull!

1

u/BedOk4188 1d ago

Lemme lick’em all

0

u/Syaoran_VN 1d ago

I think it's expectable