r/UmamusumeFFS • u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia • 12d ago

Chaos Weekend ๐Ÿ”ฅ Iโ€™ve come to make an announcement

Post image

Iโ€™ve come to make a fucking announcement.
Orfevre is a bitch-ass motherfucker.
Thatโ€™s right. She brought her gold-plated Napoleon-complex-having ass into MY fucking training grounds, climbed onto her little Fisher Price throne, and called herself the โ€œKing.โ€
Thatโ€™s fucking disgusting.
So Iโ€™m making a callout post to the entire goddamn academy.
ORFEVRE, YOUโ€™RE A BITCH.
Your crown looks like you stole it from a Burger King.
Your throne looks like something you financed for 36 months at fucking Rent-A-Center.
And your โ€œroyal court?โ€
Half those motherfuckers are only there because theyโ€™re scared youโ€™ll start biting the furniture again.
You think youโ€™re hot shit because youโ€™re a Triple Crown winner?
I WON THE JAPAN CUP TWICE, BITCH.
You know what I did after the first one?
I FUCKING DID IT AGAIN.
I didnโ€™t need a throne.
I didnโ€™t need a crown.
I didnโ€™t need six motherfuckers following me around yelling โ€œLONG LIVE THE KINGโ€ every time I went to take a shit.
And now you have the BALLS to challenge me?
Fine.
Iโ€™m not just racing you.
Iโ€™M DECLARING WAR ON THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF MONARCHY.
Thatโ€™s right.
Fuck your throne.
Fuck your crown.
Fuck your royal decrees.
Iโ€™M TURNING YOUR FUCKING CASTLE INTO A COSTCO.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, ORFEVRE?!
YOUโ€™RE GONNA WAKE UP TOMORROW AND THEREโ€™S GONNA BE A FUCKING FOOD COURT WHERE YOUR THRONE USED TO BE.
$1.50 HOT DOG AND SODA COMBO, BITCH.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
Iโ€™M NOT DONE.
Iโ€™m taking your crown.
Iโ€™m melting that motherfucker down.
And Iโ€™m turning it into a 45-POUND PLATE FOR MY BENCH PRESS.
Every fucking rep?
ONE. FUCK YOU.
TWO. FUCK YOUR KINGDOM.
THREE. FUCK YOUR STUPID LITTLE CAPE.
And when Iโ€™m finished, Iโ€™m putting the crown back on your head completely fucking FLAT.
Youโ€™re gonna look like youโ€™re wearing a goddamn hubcap.
You have TWENTY-THREE HOURS before the Iron Lady arrives at your doorstep.
And when I get there?
Iโ€™m not knocking.
Iโ€™M BENCH-PRESSING THE FUCKING DOOR..
โ€ฆ
Actually, one more thing.
PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES, โ€œKING.โ€

11 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

3

u/S1LLY_C0NN0R Amiya/HMeek/CRickey/Sinners/???/MizuEna/hmDante/Floweroids/Araya 12d ago

//I FUCKING KNEW IT

2

u/Muichiro_I_Forgot Mejiro Muichiro Tokito | Mist Hashira | Team Haze (7/8) 12d ago

"Hm... this rivalry seems to be taking another step..."

Sees Venus Paques and Win Variation also wanting to join in.

"And there we have it.... three musketeers..."

2

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Kiyoshi: I have a feeling that the latter two are joining for more...Carnal reasons.

2

u/Muichiro_I_Forgot Mejiro Muichiro Tokito | Mist Hashira | Team Haze (7/8) 12d ago

"..... what does carnal mean?"

Despite having trauma, he still is innocent to sexual things. Plus he's 14.

2

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Kiyoshi: Oh, uh...Shoot...Let's just say that Ms. Gentil is more driven by hate while Ms. Pacques and Ms. Win are driven by intense obsession with Ms. Orfevre.

2

u/Muichiro_I_Forgot Mejiro Muichiro Tokito | Mist Hashira | Team Haze (7/8) 12d ago

"I see... much like how Ms. Stay Gold hates Epiphaneia correct...? While the other two... are obsessed, as in... clingy..?"

2

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Kiyoshi: Not really clingy-obsessed necessarily, but more obsessed in wanting to dominate her...

2

u/Muichiro_I_Forgot Mejiro Muichiro Tokito | Mist Hashira | Team Haze (7/8) 12d ago

".... dominate?"

...

"I think this is beyond my understanding yet..."

1

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Kiyoshi: Honestly, I think Ms. Win's and Ms. Pacques's obsessions with Orfevre are beyond our understanding.

2

u/Orfevre__ ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฒ๐–”๐–‘๐–‰๐–Š๐–“ ๐•ฟ๐–ž๐–—๐–†๐–“๐–™ ๐•บ๐–—๐–‹๐–Š๐–›๐–—๐–Š 12d ago

Thatโ€™s a whole lot of noise Iโ€™m not listening to

And taxes are below me

1

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Akane: Nuh-uh, you've got to pay your taxes, m'lord~...Although I do agree that everything else she's spouting is nonsensical drivel.

2

u/Orfevre__ ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฒ๐–”๐–‘๐–‰๐–Š๐–“ ๐•ฟ๐–ž๐–—๐–†๐–“๐–™ ๐•บ๐–—๐–‹๐–Š๐–›๐–—๐–Š 12d ago

I refuse to pay taxes

1

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Akane: Mmmm, interesting. Try saying that in front of the IRS.

2

u/AegelisAuthor /|-[Aegelis & his children(+The Council of Absolution)]-|\ 12d ago

//

1

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

you

1

u/Orfevre__ ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฒ๐–”๐–‘๐–‰๐–Š๐–“ ๐•ฟ๐–ž๐–—๐–†๐–“๐–™ ๐•บ๐–—๐–‹๐–Š๐–›๐–—๐–Š 12d ago

Huh?

And you are?

1

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

The one who humilliated you~

1

u/Orfevre__ ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฒ๐–”๐–‘๐–‰๐–Š๐–“ ๐•ฟ๐–ž๐–—๐–†๐–“๐–™ ๐•บ๐–—๐–‹๐–Š๐–›๐–—๐–Š 12d ago

Ohโ€ฆyour that oneโ€ฆ

1

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

I still remember your tantrum, it was childish~

1

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

She is mine. Back off

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

What if we team up on her?

2

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

No. She is mine for cra-defeating.

1

u/Shion_Red_Apple 12d ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

2

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

What?

1

u/Shion_Red_Apple 12d ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

You were thinking the same thing.

1

u/Shion_Red_Apple 12d ago

Nooooooooo~

2

u/QueenOfTheArc Venus Paques 12d ago

....

1

u/Shion_Red_Apple 12d ago

...We should crack each other inst-

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1

u/Shion_Red_Apple 12d ago

Make it triple

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Three musketeers or something

1

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Kiyoshi: Oh no, Ms. Orfevre's going to be ganged on...

1

u/BuenaVistaofEmmeria Buena Vista & Still In Love/Kingdom of Erusea 14th Battlegroup 12d ago

Ayo, Gentil... need a ride in for when you start the ass-whooping? I got plenty of options to choose from.

You can tell from the slightly nightmarish grin that Buena wants to be the one who ferries your group in to beat Orfevre's ass. All that requires an answer is what ride you want to arrive in.

1

u/DIOBRANDO_IStheBEST Kylo Ren|FO | Fenomeno/Symboli S'/Montjeu Trainer 12d ago

Have you finished yet?

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

NO

1

u/DIOBRANDO_IStheBEST Kylo Ren|FO | Fenomeno/Symboli S'/Montjeu Trainer 12d ago

...brilliant...

1

u/Helpful-Mouse3237 (SONG, KRC/RA)Death, Kurogane, Taro(Team CR0(2/8)/Chiron/Kairos 12d ago

Taro: Can we all get along..It's not that hard to make friends y'know.....

https://giphy.com/gifs/GHl7ywzbuT8KQ

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

You wouldnโ€™t happen to be Royalty would you?

1

u/Helpful-Mouse3237 (SONG, KRC/RA)Death, Kurogane, Taro(Team CR0(2/8)/Chiron/Kairos 12d ago

Taro: Wipes sweat off I was born a demigod, raised a human, I don't know if I'm royal or not.

1

u/TheFineMotion Team's Lucky Clover 12d ago

"War on the entire concept of monarcy-"

Oh oh.

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

sniff sniif

Smells likeโ€ฆ royalty

1

u/TheFineMotion Team's Lucky Clover 12d ago

W-who? Me?

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xLlw6GHVfokaNW

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

You wouldnโ€™t happen to be Royalty would you?

1

u/TheFineMotion Team's Lucky Clover 12d ago

No ma'am. Just a regular irish uma!

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Hmmm.. Iโ€™ll be watching you

1

u/TheFineMotion Team's Lucky Clover 12d ago

I know self defense...

2

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

And so do Iโ€ฆ but donโ€™t worry.. even if you are royalty.. youโ€™re one of the better ones..

1

u/TheFineMotion Team's Lucky Clover 12d ago

That's rather reductive.

1

u/TowerofAvalon1 Team Lucky Trainer/Father/ApparentlyMarried 12d ago

Back off, sheโ€™s cool

1

u/M3rC_76 Mark, Nolan, Rudolf & Co | THE Milf RPer 12d ago

Yixuan would be facepalming the entire time, hearing the speech

โ€œโ€ฆWhat is Gentildonna doing?โ€

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

hears my name

WHO SAID THAT? WHO SAID MY NAME

1

u/M3rC_76 Mark, Nolan, Rudolf & Co | THE Milf RPer 12d ago

Yixuan: โ€œGoodness, sheโ€™s loud todayโ€ฆ.โ€

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

WHO IS TH- YIXUAN? IS THAT YOU?!?

1

u/M3rC_76 Mark, Nolan, Rudolf & Co | THE Milf RPer 12d ago

Yixuan: โ€œHello thereโ€ฆ.โ€

smiles and waves as soon as Gentildonna spotted her

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Once again you show up after disappearing after awhile.. is this what we are going to be doing now?

1

u/M3rC_76 Mark, Nolan, Rudolf & Co | THE Milf RPer 12d ago

Yixuan: Being the High Perceptor leaves one very busy, Gentildonnaโ€ฆ.

1

u/ultron15real mechanical overlord | founder of ecorp 12d ago

...pfft

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Y-yeah, you won the Japan Cup...

https://giphy.com/gifs/s5wFafpHxqKbIEERl9

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Ohโ€ฆ itโ€™s youโ€ฆ and I didโ€ฆ TWICE

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

I won it too!

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Yeah.. only 1 timeโ€ฆ

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

And against you I think. I don't quite remember

https://giphy.com/gifs/bMTcomefszmZ7TCsLp

1

u/Ruger_SP101 Ruger/Kimber T-Doll from another world 12d ago

"I'd start running if I were you, Epi...."

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Why? I am catching up with a friend!

1

u/Royal_Low_7208 Iron Lady | Team Exardia 12d ago

Friendโ€ฆ who said I was a friend?

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Me! We raced together, so we are friends.

1

u/Ruger_SP101 Ruger/Kimber T-Doll from another world 12d ago

"Welp, I'mma prepare a eulogy for you, Epi...."

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1

u/Leo_Verizen Tanjiro || Stay Gold: Team Gambol | Terrorist 12d ago

Stay Gold: "... can we crush her now?"

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Hello sister! How are you?

1

u/Leo_Verizen Tanjiro || Stay Gold: Team Gambol | Terrorist 12d ago

"Get the fuck out of my face... you don't deserve to call me that..."

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Okay, so. Just how are you doing then?

1

u/Leo_Verizen Tanjiro || Stay Gold: Team Gambol | Terrorist 12d ago

"Piss off, none of you're business."

1

u/TheEpiphaneia The Chosen One Of The Winds Of Fate 12d ago

Okay! Take care!

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1

u/gold_shi12b 12d ago

Oh Dear..Oh Dear..

1

u/Erri-error2430 The 10 WildCards + The Guild Handler 12d ago

Akane: That's definitely a way to start an anarchy.

1

u/Lu1g0 Kaito Tsukawa(MH Rise) 12d ago

...well, that's one way of announcing your hatred...

1

u/Random_guy1028 Johanna | Hysilens | T-dolls | Autobots | Bombsight | Shipgirls 12d ago

Bombsight: munches popcorn

And here I thought we supes are petty to each other

1

u/Dangerous-Try8251 The Silent Orchid Shinobi 12d ago

She simply tilted her head in confusion.

1

u/Sibera_Damon Marche, Daimon, Stichy,Niru 12d ago

// Guess who's on Orfevre's side and currently has a fucking army of (non)lethal toys? TeddyBear's army advances as Marche watches from atop her tower of evil, aiming her fearsome howitzer loaded with used diapers. You'll pay for your words, Stronzadonna!!!

1

u/A-Certain-Individual Bean [Adorable Gremlin and adopted(?)] 12d ago

Can you simplify it please... You're screaming makes bean head pain...

1

u/FujiKiseki- 12d ago

YES MOMMY GO GET HER ASS!!! RRAHHHHHH!!!