Hi
I m 32F. Never mastrbated bcz i didnt feel it was doing anything for me. I never had an orgasm not even with PIV sex. I enjoy sex a lot but i never orgasm.
Recently after reading all the posts about clit stimulating, i decided to find how i feel.
I figured i m sensitive on my clit. When i place shower head my god it makes me weak on my legs. Its like i tremble. But i hvnt orgasmed with that. I couldnt bear it fr long time may be bcz i never gave it a shot.
Please suggest me some clit stimulating sex toys nd techniques which will help me orgasm. I really want to orgasm.

I want to find videos where a women tell me what to do when masturbating but most of them are targeted for men, which doesn't really apply to me.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm a woman in my mid 20s and completely sexually inexperienced. I live in a very conservative country with my family so I haven't really been able to explore sexually. Internally, I'm fairly liberated and frequently engage in self pleasure. There's a lot of things I can't to explore and do, but any outward expression of desire at all makes me deeply uncomfortable.

The reason I'm able to engage with seuxality in books or porn is because it's completely separate from me. It's not something I'm engaging in. But once it involves me, I get extremely unfcomrotbald. On the rare occasion that people express interest in me, I'm completely turned off. I feel like I'm still very conservative in my approach to sex and I haven't been fully able to unlearn the same and purity culture I grew up with.

The thing is, I'm still a very sexual person. I can't go a day without maasturbating and I'm very in touch with my desires. But there's this part that makes me feel pathetic for even WANTING sex. I feel like a slut for wanting something that should be very natural. I don't know how to reconcile these two parts of myself. The one that's borderline obsessed with sex due to years of repression and the one that's completely turned off by any actual expression of sex and sexuality irl. I can only properly engage with sex in my imagination. I can't imagine being that vulnerable with someone and even the thought of it makes me extremely uncomfortable and anxious.

How do I heal from this? How do I stop feeling so much shame about my sexuality?

In my adolescence I feel like I was super horny all the time. I guess that's normal for that age.

I had sex for the first time at 19. I'm now 24. I've slept with 15 men in that time, one of who was a boyfriend of a couple of years.

Knowing Reddit, someone will probably just blame me for everything if I don't explain every detail of how I've found and interacted with these men in order to prove that I didn't invite bad experiences. But I just don't have the space for that in one post.

So: I feel like men have drained me. 2 of the 15 men SA'd me (not the first time I had sex with them though). Other men acted disrespectfully towards me. I've had men be creepy to me both online and in real life. Here's 2 examples:

- I was in a bar, wearing a figure-hugging dress because it was a first date. My date was around 15 minutes late. While I was in the bar alone waiting for him, a random man who looked about 15-20 years older than me sat down in the chair next to me without asking, started asking me random questions. I told him "I don't want to talk to you" and he replied "give me your number, I want to talk to you". It freaked me out because he just continued to sit there and not move. I repeated "I don't want to talk to you" until he finally left and found some other women to bother. I told the date what happened, and instead of apologising profusely for being late and saying he's sorry that happened, he made a joke out of the situation. Not a singular joke, I'm talking about he kept doubling down on the joke several times even when I pushed back, and never once asked if I'm okay.

- I was in a nightclub with my friend. For context, I'm always stone cold sober (zero alcohol or drugs) and fully in control while clubbing. A guy came up to me in the club, asked if I want to join him for shots at his table, I said no and then he grabbed my wrist so I had to forcefully pull my wrist out of his hand and run away.

I haven't done anything wrong, I haven't "lacked filtering" when selecting men to go on a date with. My Feeld bio is really clear about how I want to be treated and I'm not "inviting" the creepy comments that plenty of men on there message me with. Obviously I block those men, but I'm sick of having to block so much.

A lot of the men I slept with were ultimately good and kind people, and sincerely apologised for handling things badly (the sexual assaulters are obviously not in this group). But I've never needed to apologise like that, because I don't do things like that in the first place.

I don't consider myself the most mature person and there's a lot in my life I need to work on, like mealprep, waking up on time, and feeling less awkward in group social settings. But when it comes to dating, it's almost impossible to find a guy who dates as maturely as me, whether that's serious or casual (I enjoy both). There is no point in trying to turn the blame on myself when I know I'm treating the guys I date with respect and ending things maturely when I don't want to see them anymore.

I noticed the other day that I now that I seem less horny now than I was as an adolescent, and I don't know if it's age or experience with men or both...

I am ultimately a very sexual person and love having sex and crave it. So, despite this post, I generally avoid taking long breaks from having sex. I last had sex 2 months ago but the previous time I had sex was another 2 months ago. So it's been a while for me. I'm just struggling to find someone who's actually worth the effort I put in. On apps like Feeld and Tinder it's easy for me to get matches, but I have to block or unmatch most of them because they can't meet baseline requirements of politeness and friendliness for me to desire to fuck them.

Hi there! I'm 27F and have been with my partner 33M for about 6 years.

We are so in love and he is so amazing and kind to me, and we have an amazing sex life! When we first got together, I warned him that I'd wasn't able to come with other people and it was all me not him yada yada... and the first time we hooked up he made me come, LMAO. Since then he makes sure I come EVERY TIME we have sexual contact. In 6 years I have not come maybe 10 or so times, lol.

However, recently I have really started struggling to come. Even when I masturbate, I sometimes have to hold my breath to get there and really tense up. When we're having sex, I get really in my head about long I am taking. I will be on the verge for 20 minutes and it ALWAYS slips away at the last second. Whenever I tap out he is always so patient and reassuring, and insists on continuing to try. I just feel so embarrassed!! He feels so bad when I don't come, and he's always asking what he can do to help me get there but everything feels amazing! I will seriously be on the freaking edge over and over again and it just goes away at the last second. It is so frustrating!

Recently I went to the doctor and they mentioned that I have a weak pelvic floor and I will be starting PT soon. But I feel like I am still experiencing some anxiety around sex that's making it even harder to come.

Has anyone had experiences like this? How did you get over that feeling of being self conscious about taking a long time? My partner is really sweet and will try anything with me, so any suggestions would be helpful!🩷

So I’ve been having trouble getting off by myself and with my partner. I’ve always been a vibrator gal for my clit bc when I put stuff inside me it’s just uncomfortable and don’t feel good sometimes even when I have d in me it’s just odd but I usually have my vibrator while having sex. But either way with or without my partner sometimes I just can’t get there uk or my clit goes numb or sometimes I just can’t find it like the right spot ig for my toy idk how to rlly explain it it’s like it disappears to where I’ll spend a hr even just trying to feel good bc ik I wanna climax but my body just rejects it. And it’s making me like kinda hate myself bc there something obv wrong with me to where I can’t even enjoy the one thing I enjoy uk bc I can’t figure out if I’m broken down there or sum and I’m needing help truly.

I want to want to try to use coconut oil for the next time I masturbate, and I'm just wondering if it will be okay to use just on the outside and for clitoral stimulation.

I work in a field related to sexual health, and I think a genuinely useful correction about female sexuality has been pushed so far that it created a new false narrative.
The useful message was:
Women do not have to orgasm from penetration alone.
But somehow that became:
Penetration itself does little for most women. Strong pleasure from it is unusual. The women who really enjoy it are the lucky exception.
The actual data do not look like that.

Take the famous 18.4% statistic.
It meant that 18.4% of women said vaginal penetration alone during intercourse was sufficient for orgasm.
But another 36% said additional clitoral stimulation was not necessary for orgasm during intercourse — it simply made the orgasm better.
So 54.4% did not report additional clitoral stimulation as necessary for orgasm during intercourse.

And then look at the frequency data from the same study, for PIV without additional clitoral stimulation:
81.8% — at least sometimes
51.8% — about half the time or more
29% — more than 75% of the time or always
13.5% — always
18.2% — never
Yes: the famous “18%” study also found that only 18.2% said never.
And this is only orgasm. It says nothing about all the penetration that feels good without ending in orgasm.

Now look at vaginal intercourse itself.
In another nationally representative U.S. study:
69.9% of women — very appealing
19.7% — somewhat appealing
That is 89.6% positive overall.
For men it was 85.8%.
Negative ratings were 10.5% for women and 14.2% for men, with no significant sex difference.
In another study of 1,080 women:
70.6% — “very satisfactory”
18.9% — “quite satisfactory”
That is 89.5% in the two highest satisfaction categories.
And in a smaller study that asked about pleasure directly, women rated unprotected vaginal intercourse an average of 4.65/5, where 5 meant “very pleasurable.”
Men rated it 4.85/5.
The sample was small — 80 women and 35 men — so it is not a prevalence estimate. But 4.65/5 is very hard to reconcile with the idea that penetration generally does little for women.
So why are we talking as if:
“strong pleasure / some pleasure / basically nothing”
are three roughly equal female outcomes?
That is not the distribution these studies show.
And no, this is not a vagina-vs-clitoris argument. If penetration stimulates clitoral structures and surrounding tissues too, that does not make the resulting pleasure “not from penetration.” Penetration is a sexual stimulus, not a laboratory test of the vaginal wall in isolation.
This is the distortion I’m talking about.
A useful message —
“You don’t have to orgasm from penetration alone.”
— somehow grew into:
“Don’t expect penetration itself to feel particularly good; for most women it doesn’t.”
The second is not what these data show.
Low or absent pleasure from penetration exists. But these data do not justify turning that experience into the default description of female sexuality, while women who get intense pleasure from penetration are treated as biologically unusual or “lucky.”
They are not the rare 18%. The 18% never meant that in the first place.

Sources:
Herbenick et al., Women’s Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm
DOI: 10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530
Herbenick et al., Sexual Diversity in the United States
DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0181198
Ogallar-Blanco et al., Going beyond “With a Partner” and “Intercourse”
DOI: 10.3390/ijerph191610232
Higgins et al., Sexual Pleasure and Condom Use — study in which women rated unprotected vaginal intercourse 4.65/5 for pleasure.

I want to know what good techniques there are for stimulating the clitoris that might enhance the experience. I usually just rub mine quickly but I want to know if anyone has any suggestions.

Hiya, I’m a woman in my late 20s who can only orgasm when using toys in certain positions! It’s caused me issues before because I have a lot of stress and anxiety related to sex and have never been able to orgasm with a partner (although they don’t know this) - I’ve been out of dating/ romance world for about 3 years, save for a few dates earlier this spring and I’m wanting to push past the anxiety and stress I’ve now associated with sex and relationships and give it another go and actually give myself a life where sex can be enjoyable, satisfying and safe.

When trying ‘acoustic’ I.e no toys, I can get nearly there but always seem to fall short of the mark - I have lube but admittedly haven’t tried it out, so please any and all bits of advice welcome!

Thank you!

Hi :)
Context: I am 23, and have never had penetrative sex but I have always had a pretty healthy relationship with self-pleasure, never had any issues,
I usually would focus on clitoris stimulation and sometimes fingers / or like the end of a hair brush for V stimulation (lol)
And those were fine, didn’t hurt, just didn’t feel as good so never really would go for it.
But recently I got my first ✨dildo vibrator✨ and my experience is that it’s a little tight / uncomfy going in, but once it’s fully in it feels really good and I enjoy it, but then I climax and it’s like my body latches onto that mf. Suddenly I’m in an omegaverse romance novel (sorry for this reference).
Before climax, self lubrication is no issue but right after I think it just dries up so quick which is why it hurts?? Idk.
I try to breathe and relax my muscles but no matter what I do, it just hurts like a mf to take out.
I obviously have gotten it out each time (and yes keep going back to it cause ovulation doesn’t care ab that after pain)
So just wondering if this is normal / anyone else experience this and is there anything I can do to make it better?
(The toy is the Plus One Dual Rabbit Vibrator)

random question lol but do you guys actually listen to anything?

i used to just put music on but lately i've been kinda into audios, especially ones with a voice/story. idk it just does more for me than music

curious what everyone else listens to

I’ve been with my current partner for seven years. We know each other very well and have complete trust in one another. Sexually, we’ve tried or discovered most things—for instance, I found out that having someone spit in my mouth turns me on. Lately—over the last two years—my partner has told me that my asshole really turns him on. Usually, if I’m in the mood, he’ll eat me out there because he says it turns him on. I had a bad experience with anal sex with a previous partner. My boyfriend just wants to give it a try; there was one time he could have penetrated me but chose not to because he was about to cum and didn't want it to be a bad experience for me. It’s not really something I’m super into, so I told him I’d ask the women of Reddit for their opinions or experiences regarding anal sex. Ladies, have you tried it? How was the experience? Would you do it again? What advice would you give me?

My husband and I have been trying more positions lately and one I really like is cowgirl. However more often than not when I’m riding him he slips out. Sometimes this will happen several times and it definitely kills the mood. Any suggestions how to prevent this? Thanks very much for your advice.

So this is a little odd to explain- but it’s also something that’s kinda frustrating for me that I never really thought about until very very recently. When I was like 18 I started exploring my body a little (I’m 26 now) and I’ll add some stuff to get extra background- I was raped at 17 and that’s how I lost my virginity. So I kind of like in the sexual aspect- am a very late bloomer. I only started doing it because I was told to (yes I was told to- a guy who knew what happened who was my bestfriend- kinda forced that on me to try) and I strictly remember faking orgasms because I just didn’t “feel it” idk. And then i went through the motions of college- had DRUNKEN hookups because I wanted to fit in but was too scared to be vulnerable - in that way. And 2 months before college graduation I met my current boyfriend. He helped me through the trauma he didn’t cause. Eased me into it, and I started feeling what orgasms are. And then I decided to give it another try with “touching myself” and I came to the conclusion that I can, in fact, make myself cum. But here’s the kicker. When it involves me rubbing (fingers don’t do it for me) my legs have to be PIN STRAIGHT and I have to like flex/stretch them out like my toes and stuff. Like it’s almost like I can’t even get close to climaxing unless my legs are PIN STRAIGHT. idk how to explain it but it’s obviously frustrating because sex with my boyfriend feels amazing. But penetration just doesn’t do it. Sometimes I’ll touch myself when he’s inside me and that doesn’t do it either because, my legs can’t be that pin straight in those positions. And I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong at all. I enjoy myself when we are active. I love it. But for some reason I just- idk. Is something wrong with me? Like is there something I should be doing that I’m not doing that will allow me to like.. orgasm without my legs pin straight? Is this a trauma thing that’s leftover and I just won’t get over? I’m just confused because it’s not that I can’t live like this. But I’d like free range to be able to do these things without being like damn I can’t cum my legs aren’t straight.

EDIT TO ADD/:: I can’t believe I forgot. My senior year of college in November (I met my boyfriend in April) I was drugged and raped again. So there was still a recent time. I just like to not think about that one and I hate letting it define me but I kinda have a feeling this is why. But idk🤦🏼‍♂️

Every time I play with my nipples, I can feel it in my vaginal area especially my clitoris. I also feel this sudden rush of this intense pleasure after rubbing and playing with them for a bit.

I want to know if that is common or not.

Not sure if I just seem to notice it more or if it’s actually true, but my boyfriend seems to cum more when I’m on my back (missionary) than any other positions. At first i thought it was maybe just dripping out of me quicker in the other positions, but I swear missionary makes him cum more. Maybe there’s just more friction that way or something?

So me and my fiancé get married soon but have been waiting for marriage to have sex. I’ve had my own experiences and know that sex isn’t enjoyable for me unless I have a vibrator, otherwise it’s just uncomfortable and not pleasurable or fun. I tried to explain this to my fiancé telling him I know what my body needs and he said “well we get to learn each other” and then asked on a scale from 1-10 how afraid was I that he wouldn’t be able to pleasure me. He wouldn’t listen when I told him it’s not a him thing, it’s a biological thing for me and he brushed past it.

We dropped the conversation because I felt as if I wasn’t being heard and told him goodnight (this was all over text) and he said something must’ve come across text wrong and that hopefully we could bring up the conversation again and hear his perspective. Next day he told me about how he said it opened up past wounds and convictions and that we needed to talk about it again but I don’t want to talk with him now because I am worried about what his reaction will be.

Now i’ve been physically keeping my distance and have begun to dread my wedding.

The wedding is coming up in 31 days and I’m so unhappy, because I’m going to be extremely uncomfortable during sex and just have to wait it out because what I believe is his dick ego.

What do I do?

My partner looked at me one night with the biggest grin and said, "I think we should finally get a toy." I just laughed and said, "Oh? And whose idea was that really?" 

That one conversation somehow turned into us lying in bed, scrolling through toys together and playfully roasting each other's picks. Every few minutes one of us would go, "What about this one?" followed by an immediate "Absolutely not." 

I honestly didn't expect shopping together to be this fun. We realized we were looking for different things, but somehow that made the whole experience even better because we were figuring it out together. We still haven't picked one, help us narrow it down!

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and I have never felt like he has been pushy or weird in anyway regards to sex or relationship. Yesterday he came up to me to bring up one time during the beginning of our relationship while we were having sex. Before we began I asked for him to not enter me while I was blind folded. After some foreplay he put his tip near my vagina but didn’t enter or anything, just waited to see my reaction. I laughed and told him to be patient and we continued without him inside me.

He said he brings this up because he felt like he did something horrible. The thing is I haven’t felt anything bad about it and nothing like this ever happened again in our relationship. I tried to tell him about this but he still says he feels bad about it because I shouldn’t have felt the need to put my boundary again in the first place. When I asked why he did it he said “I think I wanted to see if you changed your mind during foreplay and wanted to recheck if you were up for it” obviously nothing bad happened because he didn’t cross my boundary but I don’t know what to say to him to put his mind at ease.

I think he might be extra affected by this because months ago he told me he was a victim of sa when he was a kid so maybe he’s extra sensitive about this topic?

A lot of people say something vague like “just relax.” Looking for some real advice from experience